Worlds Collide
by Jaelle17
Summary: Don't we all dream of Valdemar? COMPLETED!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Mercedes Lackey owns Valdemar and it's universe. I don't.

Author's Note: Yes, I know the theme of "what would I do if I ended up in Valdemar?" has been done to death. I just want to make sure it's truly mutilated! LOL Feel free to read and review (or not).

Worlds Collide

by

Herald Jacquelle

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I dipped my pen in the inkwell, careful to ensure that just the right amount of ink clung to the feather-pen. Still, a drop escaped to stain my parchment, and I blotted it with a sigh of frustration. Would I _ever_ get used to this writing system? I returned my attention to my journal.

Six months. I can't believe it's been six months already. I can't believe I will spend the rest of my life in this place. It's not—

I paused, raising my pen from the parchment. I was going to write "fair," but I knew that, in all truth, it had been my fault, my choice to come here, and that it wasn't really their fault for not being able to return me. Had it really been six months? In some ways it seemed an eternity. In others, a mere breath of time. I glanced to the window of my chamber, watching the rain make endless patterns on the glass. It was a far cry from the sunny day when I'd first met those who would change my life forever, merely six months ago....

My parents had asked me to come housesit for two weeks at their home in rural Maine while they went on vacation to visit my brother and his family in Colorado. Having just returned from an overseas mission trip, I had agreed, looking forward to two weeks of solitude to recover from the horrors of poorly-kept orphanages and sick children.

I had spent nearly the entire time alone, interrupted only by the occasional squirrel that happened upon the windowsill for a curious peek inside. My surprise, therefore, was great when, two days before my parents' scheduled return, someone knocked on the front door early one evening.

I rose from the couch, pausing the movie I had been watching, and moved across the room to answer the summons. I opened the door to find a four people, three men and one woman, dressed all in white, standing on the steps.

"May I help you?" I asked.

Before they could reply, a movement behind them caught my attention and I looked over their heads to see four white horses standing on the lawn, and behind them, a pearl-colored, ever-shifting swirl of air. I don't know how else to describe it. It was odd, but odder still was the feeling of familiarity. I looked back to the horses and one tilted its head just so, catching my eyes, an evident intelligence behind its own sapphire gaze.

With a shock that must have been evident on my face, I remembered. Half a lifetime ago—more, even—I had been given a brand new book by my librarian who knew of my love for fantastic tales. The heroine, a girl of thirteen years, as I was, had been swept away by an intelligent horse with blue eyes.

It was impossible—

"I know this must seem odd," the woman said, drawing my attention away from the horse (it simply could not be a Companion), "but we are in desperate need of help."

I stared at them for a stupid moment, and then realized that they were awaiting an answer from me. With a start, I came to myself, and stepped back. "Please, come in." As they filed past me, I looked back to the horses. They were now _all_ looking at me.

_It's impossible_, I thought again as I turned into the house, closing the door behind me. "Make yourselves comfortable," I said to my guests. "I'll be right back." I went to the kitchen and got some glasses of ice water and made up a quick tray of fruit and cheese. I returned to find the strangers seated, but staring in barely-concealed wonder at the television. The pause on the movie had run out, and it was playing again: _Ladyhawke_, an old fantasy movie. I set the tray down on the coffee table, and reached for the remote, turning off the tv itself.

"Please, help yourselves," I said, indicating the tray. I took a seat in a worn-out chair as they accepted the refreshment, and waited until they were settled again. "It is, as you said, very odd indeed. How can I help you?"

It was a good thing that they had anticipated shock from whomever they told their story, because I could not have been more stunned at their revelation—though not for the reason they suspected. They were Heralds from Valdemar, and while they declined to comment on their "horses," they did say the swirly mass in the air was a Gate, one unlike any they had ever seen. They had been on their way to Haven from somewhere else, and had ended up here early this morning.

"It follows us wherever we go," said the woman, who seemed to be the spokesperson for the group. "And it has not collapsed. In our world, this is impossible."

"Why do you just not return to your world through it?" I asked. I still couldn't believe I was talking to people from a fictitious world. I deliberately refused to think about what was standing just outside my door. _Impossible_, my mind cried once more. And yet, the proof was in front of me.

"We can't," one of the men replied. "We tried."

"We had someone else with us, but he died in the transit," the woman said. "We think this is why we cannot return. There were nine of us before, and now there are only eight."

"Nine?" I queried.

"Our horses," one of the men answered. "They are living creatures as well. We think that since we came through the Gate with nine, we can only return with nine."

"We don't expect you to believe us," the woman said, though there was a desperateness in her eyes that pleaded with me to do just that.

"Why should I not?" I replied. "You are plainly here."

"That we are," she replied.

"Furthermore," I continued, "this Gate is just as plainly here as well." I looked at them. "Why don't you stay here for the night? You must be tired and hungry. Some rest would do you good."

"We would not want to impose," said the woman.

"It is no imposition. I have plenty of room," I said, "though I'm afraid I have no stables or provisions for your horses."

"We can take care of them," the woman said, and then paused, looking at her fellow Heralds for a moment before turning back to me. "Thank you. We appreciate your kindness. May we have your name?"

I shook my head. "Forgive me. I hadn't even thought of that. My name is Jaelle. And yours?"

"I am Elspeth," the woman stated, "and this is Dylan, Sandor, and Cardon."

I carefully controlled my reaction, keeping it as neutral as possible. I didn't know the men, but Elspeth I knew. It had been so long since I had read the books, but she looked in real life as I remembered her character having been described.

"I'm pleased to meet you," I said to all four, and then rose. "If you'd like, I'll show you to your rooms. I'm afraid you'll have to share sleeping space, as I don't have separate rooms for all of you."

"That is not a problem," Dylan said, as they all rose.

My parents had a four-bedroom house. I was sleeping in my old room, and I showed the Heralds the other three bedrooms. Elspeth slept in my brother's old room and let the men split up the remaining two rooms. I then showed them the bathroom (and how to use the furnishings), and where the towels were, and then left them to go make dinner.

I had taken some chicken breasts out to thaw earlier that day. I had packages of vegetables in the freezer, and a bag of potatoes in the pantry. I was certain I could come up with something that wouldn't be too foreign to their tastebuds. As I washed the chicken, through the window over the kitchen sink, I could see them tending to their Companions. It all still seemed so unreal to me.

An hour later, dinner was ready. Most of our conversation tended to discussion of the differences in our worlds from government to technology to religion. The Heralds were worn from their ordeal, however, and after a dessert of chocolate brownies and ice cream (which Elspeth suggested they take back with them to Valdemar), they sought their beds. I cleaned up the kitchen, and in the process, found some carrots in the refrigerator.

It was not yet true night, but the Companions wouldn't have been that hard to spot against the dark green grass anyway. They were practically glowing. I paused at the kitchen door, wondering whether I should go at all. Would it serve any purpose to talk to them when there was nothing that I could do?

My curiosity was stronger than my logic, however, and I pushed the door open and stepped onto the porch. I headed down the stairs and across the lawn to where the four Companions were.

"I'm sorry I haven't got proper equine provisions for you," I said as I approached, "but I do have some carrots, if you're interested."

They merely turned their heads and looked at me. I waited, but nothing happened.

Dropping the carrots, I crossed my arms, and sighed. "In this world, when someone offers you hospitality, however meager it may be, it is polite to answer them."

Still no response.

I tried a different tactic. "I know who you are," I stated, meeting their eyes. "and you are no more dumb horses than I am."

That produced a whicker or two of surprise, and three of the Companions turned their gazes to the fourth, as though looking for direction, but none made any overtures of response.

"Fine, then," I snapped, disgusted, and turned my gaze to the fourth Companion, whose identity I suspected I knew. "If you want to be a stupid cow, Gwena, and play these childish games, then do so, but when all of you are marooned here in this world, it will be no one's fault but _yours_." With that, I turned on my heel and stalked back to the house. I wasn't even halfway there before a strong, feminine voice in my head stopped me in mid-stride.

:_Wait.:_

I stopped and turned just enough to look over my shoulder. "Oh, found our tongue, have we?"

:_It would be no more wise to reveal ourselves in your world than it would be for you to show your technology in ours.:_

I turned and retraced my steps. "But I know who you are," I replied, "and I strongly suspect that you were aware of that before I even came out here." I recalled the gazes of Companions when I first saw them from the doorstep.

:_Yes,_: she admitted.

I half expected her to lie to me and deny it. When she didn't, my respect for her inched up a notch. "You're not in Valdemar anymore," I remarked, "and playing your little horsey games isn't going to help you here. And from now on," I added, "please extend me the courtesy of not invading my mind without first asking my permission."

:_Agreed.:_

"Thank you," I replied. Perhaps we could start getting somewhere constructive in our conversation. "Your Chosen are not familiar with this type of Gate. Are you?"

:_Only enough to know that if we came through with nine, we must return with nine,_: Gwena said. _:It's just as Elspeth and Sandor mentioned.:_

"And this person that came through with you---"

_:Is dead,:_ Gwena replied, and it was plain from her short tone that she was unwilling to discuss the matter. _:We must find someone to take his place.:_

The Companions stared at me expectantly.

I pretended I didn't see.

"How much control do you have over this Gate?" I asked. When all I received in response was an uneasy shifting of weight, I continued. "You're not in your world. Playing your games won't help you here."

In my mind, I heard Gwena sigh. _:Gates are constructed of magic, and as you know, we Companions are magical creatures.:_

"Especially you," I interjected.

_:Yes,:_ she replied. _:Especially me. The magics of this particular Gate, however, are wild, and not easily controlled. Working together, I suspect that we can direct ourselves back to Haven, and even send the person who comes with us back to their own world once we are home. There's no guarantee, of course,:_ she added.

Again, I ignored the implicit invitation to join them. "Of course," I responded, and then looked at all of them. "You need your rest as much as your Chosen do. Sleep well." I turned to make my way back to the house, but I had barely started before Gwena's voice sounded once more in my head.

_:We carry vital information for Selenay.:_ She waited for a moment, but when I refused to turn around, she continued on smoothly. _:Thank you for the carrots.:_

I paused in my long strides for a brief moment. "You're welcome. Good night."

Their answering murmurs followed me back to the house.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: See disclaimer at Chapter 1.

Thanks for all the reviews! I'm having fun with this, silly bit that it is! :-)

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Chapter 2

Never let it be said that Companions' well-wishes are worth anything, because I did _not_ have a good night. In fact, I barely slept at all, tossing restlessly most of the night, repeatedly telling myself that this was _not_ my problem. That I needed to tell myself this concerned me more than the problem itself. I had no obligation to these people. I bore no responsibility to get them home. In all truth, I had done more than my share by welcoming them into my home.

What I _did_ have was a life of my own, and obligations to a group of toddlers back in Romania. I had poured my soul into them for more than two years, and I had my heart set on returning to adopt at least one of them.

So why did I feel so guilty? Why did the thought of sending the Heralds on their way tomorrow trouble me so?

I knew what it was like to be in a foreign place, to be an alien lost and scared, and I was still in my own world. I couldn't imagine how the Heralds must be feeling. But I also knew what it was like to receive kindness and welcome from a stranger. I knew how much that help had meant to me.

I knew I couldn't walk away from this. Also, I'd be lying if I said that the thought of visiting a place I'd daydreamed of as a young teenager held no allure for me. My work in Romania had worn me out, and to be able to go somewhere truly fantastical, even if only for a moment or two, would be a welcome respite—and something I would always cherish. It was dawn by the time I made my choice.

I would go to Valdemar.

Knowing it was useless to try to sleep, I quietly rose and went downstairs to the kitchen. I set a kettle on to boil and opened the kitchen door. There was no sense in delay, and I set off towards the sleeping Companions. The grass was cool beneath my bare feet and as I drew closer to them, they opened their eyes.

"All right, I'll do it," I said without preamble. "But you're going to have to inform your Chosen about your ability to manipulate this Gate, because I'm not going unless I can come back, and they need to know that. So unless you know of some other way to return me to this world, you're going to have to tell them."

:_Logical_,: Gwena said, and the others nodded their agreement.

"You can always make them forget about it later on," I replied. I made the remark in jest, but the Companions seemed to take me seriously, nodding once more.

:_Thank you for doing this_,: Gwena said.

I just shrugged. "I've been where you are before."

She merely inclined her head to me, and with a deep breath, I returned to the house to prepare breakfast.

Sleepy murmurs greeted me as I set a pot of water on the stove to boil for porridge. I turned to find all four Heralds making their way into the kitchen. Their Whites were rumpled, but their smiles were smooth and cheerful.

"Good morning," I said. "Breakfast will be ready soon. Would you like some tea in the interim?"

"I'll pass for now," Dylan said. "I should go check on the Com—horses."

I ignored his blunder and only nodded my understanding.

"I'll join you," Elspeth said, and as they left, I turned my attention to the remaining Heralds.

"How about you two?"

"Tea sounds perfect," Sandor said.

"I'll take some as well," Cardon replied, pulling up a chair at the table.

I brought over some cups and a selection of tea bags, and showed them how to use them. They seemed quite fascinated with the concept of tea bags, and impressed with the selection of flavors. For my part, I was impressed that they could read English. Was it the same as their own? And if so, did that mean that the languages of their neighboring kingdoms were the same as other languages on Earth? With a nervous shudder, I realized that I would soon find out.

Breakfast was complete by the time Elspeth and Dylan returned. A nut and dried fruit porridge, bacon, eggs, and toast, along with a selection of fresh fruit and small talk seemed to keep the Heralds and me occupied for a good while. As we were finishing, Elspeth turned to me.

"Gwena told me you agreed to help us get home." She eyed me carefully, and from the lack of surprise on the other Heralds' faces, I could only surmise that they'd been informed via Mindspeech. "Why?" she asked.

I met her eyes squarely. "I've been where you are, lost in a foreign place. I know how much it means to have help in such a situation." I paused to take a sip of my tea. "Besides, you have a talking horse, and a magical Gate that follows you around. Wouldn't _you_ be interested in seeing the world where such things come from?"

She relaxed a bit, and smiled. "I suppose I would."

"Did she tell you that she can make another Gate to get me back here?" I asked. Given Gwena's penchant for "forgetting" to relay important information to her Herald, there was no way I was going to trust her to tell Elspeth about this.

Something of an annoyed look crossed Elspeth's face, and I could see her take a deep, calming breath before answering. "Yes, she did."

Pretending not to understand her frustration, I merely nodded.

"Thank you for doing this, Jaelle," Dylan said. "You can't imagine what it means to us."

"It's nothing," I remarked.

"Hardly that," Elspeth replied, but then hesitated for a moment, as if unsure to continue. "When will you be ready to leave?"

"It won't take me long," I said. "But first, there is something I need to know. What if I can't get back?"

"Gwena is confident she will be able to return you," Elspeth said.

"If there is one thing I have learned," I replied, "it is to prepare for the worst, especially when going to a place that may be difficult or impossible to return from." I looked at each of the Heralds. "I can't go until I know what will happen to me if I can't get back."

Cardon favored me with a sympathetic glance. "We won't just abandon you, Jaelle, if that is what you're worried about."

"And how am I to know that?" I countered. Of course I knew they would not do something so dishonorable, but I hardly had the skills to survive in a medieval society, and I wanted to know what I would be getting into.

"Because," Elspeth said, "I am the Heir to our kingdom's throne. I swear to you on my crown and on my honor as a Herald that you will be taken care of."

It was fortunate for me that surprise was the expected emotion, because I was somewhat stunned at Elspeth's announcement. From what I remembered of the books, she had renounced her position as Heir. Of course, it had been a while since I had read them...perhaps I was mistaken. In any case, having her pledge that she wouldn't toss me out on the streets of Haven made me feel much more confident about going.

"Thank you," I said. "I appreciate that. It won't take me long to pack—just in case," I added with a smile, "and then I'll be ready to go."

"We'll be outside waiting," Elspeth said.

I quickly cleaned up the kitchen and set about to packing. A few essential clothes and books, some toiletries and my walkman, and I was ready to go. I grabbed my backpack on the way out the door and met the Heralds and Companions near the Gate.

"All set?" Sandor asked.

I nodded. "All set." _I think._

"The process may be a little disorienting, but the feeling will pass," Elspeth said.

I nodded my understanding and took a deep, prepatory breath.

"All right then," Elspeth declared. "Let's go."

We stepped through the gate.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: See disclaimer at Chapter 1. Thanks for the reviews, everyone!!

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Chapter 3

Elspeth hadn't been kidding about the disorientation. I felt like the eleventh minute of a ten minute Tilt-a-Whirl ride. I wasn't sure at first if there was any solid ground beneath my feet. I thought I was going to be sick...just what I needed, too—to lose my breakfast by way of introducing myself to Valdemar. Thankfully, Elspeth had also been correct about its passing. Within a few moments, the dizziness and nausea subsided and my vision cleared. I heard someone softly gasp, and I realized a moment later that it was me. All around me were green, rolling hills, and beautiful trees. In the distance I could hear the soft whisper of moving water.

Companions Field. It had to be.

As if on cue, several Companions appeared from behind a hill as if by magic. For all I knew, they may have. After a brief glance at us, they passed by.

"We made it," Elspeth said with a grateful sigh, and then turned to me. "We can't thank you enough."

"It's beautiful here," I replied. "I can see why you were anxious to get back."

She smiled. "Not just for this, unfortunately." She turned to Sandor. "Will you please take the dispatches immediately to Mother?"

Sandor nodded and reached for one of the saddlebags strapped to his Companion's gear. "Jaelle, thank you again. If I don't see you before you go back to your world, please know that I will never forget your kindness, and accept my best wishes for your health and happiness."

"Thank you," I replied. He smiled and then quickly strode away, and I turned to Elspeth. "So when do I go back?"

A faraway look came over Elspeth's face, and I knew she was talking to Gwena. A minute or two later, she focused her attention back on me. "Gwena says she doesn't have the energy to try right now. She needs to eat and rest before she can make the attempt."

One glance at Gwena showed me that Elspeth wasn't exaggerating. The Groveborn Companion looked exhausted. I supposed that I could have asked the Companions to have Rolan Gate me back, but I just couldn't pass up an opportunity to see more of Haven, even if only for a few hours.

"I'd like to introduce you to my mother," Elspeth continued. "Would you mind staying the night and going back in the morning? That would give Gwena time to replenish herself."

"That would be fine," I replied, "though I'm afraid I didn't bring anything fit to meet a queen in."

"Don't worry about that," Elspeth replied with a laugh. "Mother doesn't care to stand on ceremony if she can avoid it, and she'll be so pleased to see us, she wouldn't care if you showed up nude!"

I had to laugh with her. I'd always enjoyed the character of Selenay, and I was looking forward to meeting her.

Dylan and Cardon took care of the the Companions, and Elspeth led me to the palace. I wish I could have commented on its size, or the sense of impression I got upon seeing it, but I'm afraid I was too taken up in watching the people to notice much of anything else.

I felt as though I had been assimilated by a box of crayons. All around me were students or teachers of the various Collegia dressed in white, red, green, grey, blue—to say nothing of the nobles and courtiers who were decked out like rainbows—all scurrying about in an organized form of madness. I was never one for crowds, and I was glad when Elspeth closed the door to the palace behind us, shutting us away from it all.

The first thing Elspeth did was find a servant to carry my bags to the suite I would be staying in. She then led me down corridors, twisting and turning so often that I had long since considered myself lost by the time we reached our destination.

"These are my mother's personal suites," Elspeth said as we approached a pair of guarded doors. "She should be well into her working day by now."

"We needn't disturb her if she's doing something important," I said.

"It's no disturbance," she replied. "Gwena told me she's been looking for an excuse to take a break all morning."

The two guards smiled and bowed to Elspeth. They stood aside for us, and she opened the doors, leading the way through.

There were two women in Whites, one sitting at a table, and one leaning over her shoulder, who looked up at our entrance. The older of the two, a woman with blue eyes and a circlet of gold in her hair immediately smiled at Elspeth and rose from behind her table to cross the room and embrace her.

"Caryo told me you got back," she said to Elspeth, confirming her identity as Selenay, "just as Sandor arrived with the dispatches. I've been so worried ever since your presences dropped out of the Circle."

"We're just fine, Mother," Elspeth replied and then turned to the other woman, who was approaching with open arms.

"Catling," she said with a smile, drawing Elspeth into a warm embrace. "I'm glad you're back safe."

The soft curls of her hair and heart-shaped face, together with the nickname she had used, led me to believe that the second woman was none other than Talia.

Once the welcomes had been exchanged, Elspeth turned to me. "Mother, Talia, this is Jaelle. She is responsible for getting us safely home."

I felt suddenly self-conscious. Should I bow? Kneel? Shake their hands? Belatedly, I inclied my head to them both in a pathetic form of compromise. "It's nice to meet you both," I said.

I could see the surprise in their eyes as they traded quick looks with each other. They must have thought I was the most uncivilized person in the world. Except that I wasn't from their world, and the thought of explaining all that had happened seemed suddenly overwhelming. I looked to Elspeth in silent supplication and she favored me with a sympathetic smile.

"Why don't we all sit down," she suggested, "and I'll tell you what happened."

We took up various spots in chairs or on couches, and Elspeth told the two women what had happened to her and her fellow Heralds.

Selenay turned to me once Elspeth finished speaking. "Jaelle, we can't thank you enough. You have our eternal gratitude. I mean that."

"I've kinda been where Elspeth has been before," I replied. "I was happy to help. Besides, as I told her," I continued with a smile to Elspeth, "you have a fascinating world compared to mine. How could I pass up the opportunity to visit?"

"_Our_ world is fascinating?" Elspeth replied. "Mother, Talia, you should have _seen_ this place..."

We spent the next little while talking about the differences in our worlds, and I had to laugh when Elspeth tried to describe a television set.

"You know," Selenay said thoughtfully, "tonight is the Great Feast."

"Cultural holiday," Elspeth said to me beneath her breath.

"Jaelle," Selenay continued, "I would be honored if you would join me at my table as my guest."

"The honor would be mine," I said, knowing what I did of medieval society from history classes and such. To be invited to eat at the royal table was something some people would kill for. "But I'm afraid I have nothing to wear." I hoped, more than believed, that such a flimsy excuse would entice Selenay to withdraw her request. What did I know of how to behave in such a setting? I strongly suspected that the knowledge that I had acquired from my participation in the SCA wasn't going to get me very far in this world. There were real nobles here who would take real offense at any slight, intended or otherwise.

"That's a problem _easily_ solved," Talia said.

"We have so many gowns, we're bound to find one you can wear," Elspeth added. She looked at me critically. "Dark hair, blue eyes—nothing in pastel, for certain."

"My favorite color is deep purple, if that helps," I offered.

Selenay suddenly smiled. "I've got just the thing. You'll look perfect in it. I'll send some servants to your suite later on to help you prepare."

"I appreciate that, thank you," I replied, relaxing a little. "I'm afraid I'm rather inept when it comes to making myself look presentable for formal occasions."

"I know what you mean," Talia said with a groan and Selenay and Elspeth began to laugh. Remembering Talia's similar situation from the second Arrow's book, I smiled gratefully. Having someone understand made me feel better about going—not that I would have turned down Selenay's invitation. Even I, in my ignorance, knew better than that.

But perhaps it wouldn't be so bad after all.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks for the reviews!! Yes, this chapter does take a rather wild turn. I just started grad school, so I don't know how often I'll be able to update, but after this chapter, there may not be much interest in updates anyway! LOL

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Chapter 4

The SCA had _nothing_ on this. At least, nothing I had ever seen.

That was my initial impression as I was led into the hall and observed the room full of colors and gaitey and the tables of food.

As I made my way towards the head of the room where the Queen's table was set crosswise to the other tables, I could almost _feel_ the hush that came over those whom I passed. Whatever conversations they had been engaged in, even I, an alien to this society, could tell that I was quickly becoming the topic of discussion. The sidelong glances and hushed tones told me all I needed to know.

Thankfully, I had come dressed prepared. I don't care what people say, there is something about being dressed to kill that instills an enormous amount of confidence in a person, and wearing a flattering gown went a long way towards boosting my ego in _this_ crowd. Of course, it had taken the servants almost two hours to transform my anxiety into, well, something a little less anxious (I really hated being the middle of significant numbers of strangers—especially when all those eyes were looking at me), but I would have been positively sick had I walked into this place in my jeans and t-shirt.

I quickly discovered that I _liked_ dressing up like this, at least for tonight. The Heralds could keep their comfortable Whites if they wanted. Being decked out like a princess was _fun_!

As we approached the Queen's table, I realized that I had forgotten to ask how to properly greet her—not that I could have learned court etiquette in one afternoon, but it still would have been nice to know _something_ of it, especially in a public setting. But then I realized...I was not expected to know, nor was I expected to be something I was not.

Talia was sitting to Selenay's right, and the seat to her left was vacant. It was mine, I assumed, as the servant led me around the table towards the Queen's left. Selenay stood and extended her hand to me as I neared my seat. I blinked for a moment in surprise, and then reached out and shook it. She must have seen the question in my eyes, because she leaned towards me and whispered,

"Rumor has it this is the way it's done in your world."

I smiled at her. "It is indeed."

She returned the smile as we sat down. "Do you suppose we've scandalized the entire Court by not following the proper rites?"

I looked out over the gathering to find rather stunned expressions on the faces of those who had taken note of the exchange. "Probably," I replied.

"Good," stated Elspeth, who sat to my left, and I was hard-pressed to keep from laughing. Of course, it was all well and good for them—no one outranked them. But I was just a guest, and I didn't want to cause any trouble.

Talia leaned forward to speak to me. "Relax. All will be well."

I remembered then that she was an Empath. She must have been using her Gift, because at that moment, I sensed some of the anxiety I had been feeling ebb away. I just smiled gratefully and nodded, and turned my attention back to Selenay, who had risen from her seat.

"Tonight is the Great Feast," she said, "and we have much to be thankful for, not the least of which is the return of our Heir, Elspeth, and her fellow Heralds, who had been lost due to a rogue Gate." She looked down on me and I felt my face grow hot even before she said anything. "We owe their safe return to this woman, Jaelle, who willingly gave of her resources and time, and has sacrificed to help them return from her world back to ours."

She was waxing Bardic, and I could only pray that she would end her speech soon. I hated being the center of attention, and I hadn't really done anything that great to begin with. I went through the Gate with them today, and tomorrow morning, I would go back. End of story. But I could _feel_ everyone's eyes on me, like the echo of insect legs all over my skin. I resolutely stared at the tabletop and tried to keep from fideting.

"It is in her honor," Selenay said, "that I dedicate this feast."

With that, she sat down, and I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. As though the end of her speech were a signal of some sort, servants started to bring out trays laden with food and drink.

I looked up from the table to find Selenay regarding me with a curious expression. "I'm sorry," I said. "I _hate_ being the center of attention. I'd rather crawl under the table than have everyone looking at me."

She just smiled at me. "I can understand. Unfortunately, the people are very curious about you. Rumors of your world are spreading fast. It's already been said that the Bards are composing songs."

Thank God I wouldn't be here to have to listen to them! I thought.

"I do hope you won't leave too soon," she finished.

"I think I'll be fine one-on-one, thank you," I replied. "It's the all-at-once that I really hate."

"Well, that's over," Elspeth replied, "so just try and enjoy yourself. They'll be dancing later on as well, if you like that."

"I do like it,"I admitted, "though I'm not very good at it."

"I'll let you dance with my husband," Elspeth said. "He can lead anyone."

Husband? Had she married Darkwind? Now that I thought of it, I hadn't seen any Tayladras or gryphons or anything out of the ordinary (well, as far as ordinary could get here). Exactly when had I landed? And why was she still Heir? And where was Selenay's husband and her twins?

I had to force my attention back to Elspeth and her offer. "I didn't know you were married," I said. "Is your husband here at the Feast?"

"Not yet," she replied. "He's back in our suites, trying to calm our daughter after a nightmare she had when she napped. He should be here soon."

Daughter? I knew it had been a long time since I had read the books, but I also knew that Elspeth did not have children. What was going on?

"I look forward to it," I replied, keeping my expression as neutral as I could. Obviously, while I had stepped into Valdemar, it was not the Valdemar I knew.

I spent the next hour or so chatting with Elspeth and Selenay and Talia. Finally, Selenay rose, which seemed to be a permission of sorts for the rest of the court to rise from the tables and begin intermingling. I had a feeling I was going to be overrun quite soon, judging from the glances I was receiving from the courtiers. I gathered my courage and prepared myself, but just before I started to move towards a friendly-looking gentleman, I felt a light touch on my shoulder.

I turned to see Elspeth standing there with one of the most handsome men I had ever seen...black hair, perfect features. He seemed familiar somehow.

Elspeth smiled at me. "Jaelle, I'd like you to meet my husband, Kris."

Kris? As in Kris-who-was-supposed-to-be-dead-shot-with-arrows-at-Ancar's-palace?

He smiled at me, an angelic expression.

I was definitely not in Kansas anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I am totally blown away by the reviews! I never expected anything like this...it is seriously humbling. Thanks, everyone! I hope you continue to enjoy it (especially as this chapter was rather rushed out between studying).

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Chapter 5

I smiled at Kris and held my hand out to him in greeting, but inside, my thoughts were whirling. _What_ was going on?

He took my hand and raised it to his lips, imparting upon it a courtly kiss. "More than anyone here, I owe you a great debt for helping Elspeth come back."

Thanks are appreciated, but there comes a point when a girl just gets sick of them. I smiled politely and repeated my usual disclaimer. I tried to think of something intelligent to say in the ensuing pause, but "why are you alive?" was the only thing coming to mind, and I highly doubted such a question would be appropriate—or appreciated.

Thankfully, we were interrupted at that point by a nobleman who seemed intent on meeting me. As much as I disliked socializing with strangers, I was grateful for the distraction. Elspeth and Kris excused themselves, leaving me alone with the nobleman, one Lord Ehnley, who bowed deeply to me.

"'Tis said, my lady, that you will leave us in the morning," he said as he straightened.

I nodded, accepting a proffered goblet from a passing servant. "Yes," I replied. "As much as I would like to visit longer, I'm afraid I must be getting back."

"Of course," Ehnley said. "I understand. Ruling an entire world must take up much of your time."

"Ruling a . . . ?" I trailed off, frowning. "Forgive me, Lord Ehnley. I'm afraid I don't understand."

"You are the Empress of your world, are you not?" he asked.

I took a drink from the goblet and nearly choked. "Empress?" I echoed incredulously. "I think there's been some mistake, milord. I'm not an Empress."

"A Queen, then?" he replied. "Rumors do abound, and details often get confused."

Did they ever! I tried to keep from laughing. "No, Lord Ehnley, I'm afraid I'm not a queen, either. The rumors you heard must have been greatly exaggerated. I'm just a common person where I come from."

Lord Ehnley seemed visibly disappointed. "Indeed? I had been informed that you ruled your kingdom."

I frowned in thought, trying to think how such a rumor might have been started. A thought occurred to me, one that made me smile. "I think I understand the error. Where I come from, every citizen born in my country is eligible to become the leader of the country once they reach the age of thirty-five." I had explained the American political system to the Heralds who had stayed with me. They must have passed it on to their Companions, who passed it on, and on, and on, until the story ended up in Lord Ehnley's bizarre form.

"Truly?" he asked. I could see his eyes light up with envy and I hid a smile. If only he knew! "Who appoints them ruler?"

"Yes," I replied, "but it's not as simple as it sounds. And they're not appointed. They are elected by the people."

He frowned. "The common people choose their own ruler?"

I sighed quietly, realizing that there was no easy way out of this one. I then explained, as simply and quickly as I could, America's political origins and system of government.

"I see," Lord Ehnley said when I finished. "So, you are the potential ruler of your country?"

I saw in that moment that he was only interested in power, and how to align himself with it. "Yes," I answered, "I am, along with the other two hundred and ninety million citizens of my country."

Before he could reply to that, a shadow fell over us, and I turned to see Kris standing there. Lord Ehnley bowed to him. All I could do was stare, his presence reminding me of just how odd this whole thing was.

"Forgive the interruption, but I was wondering if you'd care to dance," he said to me.

"I'd love to," I replied. Anything to get away from Lord Ehnley's questions. And, perhaps, to get a chance to ask some of my own. I turned to Lord Ehnley. "It was a pleasure to meet you milord."

He smiled. "The pleasure was all mine, my lady, I assure you. Our conversation was quite informative." With a bow to both me and Kris, he turned and disappeared into the crowd.

"What were you discussing?" Kris asked as he led me across the room to the dancing.

"Politics," I replied.

"Ah. His favorite topic."

"I don't know how to dance," I told him, changing the subject. "We both might end up looking like fools."

He laughed. "Have a little faith! I think I can lead well enough to ward off the jeers."

Surprisingly, he was right. He made it seem quite easy, in fact.

Now, it was my turn to ask some questions.

"How long have you and Elspeth been married?" I inquired.

"Just a few years," he replied. "We're lifebonded—did she tell you what that is?"

Curiouser and curiouser. I shook my head, and he gave me a quick explanation of lifebonding. I tried to appear impressed or surprised—something that would make him think I'd never heard of it before. I tried to think of something to say, some question to ask whose answer might clue me in on why this Valdemar was so different from the one I knew of in the books.

"Your world is beautiful," I said, "and very different from mine. We don't have your magic where I come from."

Kris smiled as we parted for a moment in the dance, but soon took my hand again. "We've always had magic. In fact, Valdemar was founded on magic."

They've always had magic? But wasn't Vanyel the last Herald Mage until Elspeth? I was thoroughly confused, but I only made a polite comment in reply as the dance ended. Did it really matter anyway? I wondered as I made my way back to my seat at Selenay's table. I was going home in the morning, back to my normal life where horses didn't talk and where people understood the concept of democracy and television.

But my unrequited curiosity would be protesting all the way.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thank you for the interest!!! All questions will, I hope, be answered in due time in the course of the story.

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Chapter 6

The following morning dawned with glorious sunshine. A quick breakfast, and an even quicker packing, and I set out for Companions Field to meet Elspeth and Gwena. I'd said my goodbyes to Selenay and Talia the night before, to the servants that morning. Nothing else remained but to go home.

I was going to miss it. I wished I'd had more time to explore the grounds, or even the library, especially in light of this mystery, but it just wasn't to be. And, after all, where was it written down that Valdemar had to be the way I thought it was supposed to be? Maybe the books were the ones that were wrong. Maybe neither. Theoretical physics had always fascinated me, in a layman's way, and there were theories floating about regarding multi-universes parallel to the one we lived in. Science fiction had been playing around with that for years, and, given the evidence before my eyes, who was I to argue?

Still....

With a sigh, I let it go. It was not my problem to solve.

I made my way through Companions Field towards a mass of white—several Companions and more than one Herald.

"Good morning," I said as I approached them.

"Good morning," Elspeth replied, though her tone and eyes belied the words she spoke.

I felt the hair stand up on the back of my neck, as it were. "What's wrong?"

The Heralds—even the Companions—looked uneasily among themselves for a long moment.

_No. Oh, no. It couldn't— _ I looked to Gwena to find that she couldn't meet my gaze.

"I can't go back." The words came from my lips in as lifeless a tone as I suddenly felt. I looked to Elspeth. "I can't go back, can I?"

She softly shook her head. "No."

I found myself fighting off a sudden panic. "Why?"

:_Something is wrong with the magic that brought us to your world,: _Gwena replied. _:It's no longer stable. It's as though something has damaged it beyond touching.:_

I was speechless for a full minute. All I could do was stare at her, silent, unable to process what she had just told me. Yes, I had prepared for the possibility of not going home, but it wasn't supposed to _be_ a possibility. She had assured me that she could do this! I felt a wave of anger towards her, towards all of them. Had I been played for a fool? Had they known all along that they would never be able to get me back, yet allowed me to believe so in order to achieve their purposes?

_:I am so sorry, Jaelle,_: Gwena said.

_:We did our best,_: sounded a masculine voice. It was accompanied by a soft nudge on my shoulder, and I turned to see the doleful eyes of a Companion looking into mine. Somehow I knew it was Rolan. :_We'll continue trying, of course, but..._: His mindvoice sounded dubious at best.

I didn't know if they could read my thoughts, and I didn't trust myself to speak, so I just glanced down at the grass and said nothing.

"We are all sorry," Elspeth chimed in.

I nodded and did my best to clamp down on the anger I was feeling. When I felt in sufficient control, I looked up at them. "Well, I guess I don't need to be carrying these around," I said, indicating my bags.

Elspeth turned to one of the Heralds next to her, a young man. "Darvin, please take Jaelle's bags back to her suites."

"Of course," he replied. He stepped towards me and I let him take my belongings without protest.

"I don't know what to say," I said. "I—I think I would just like some time to myself to process it all."

Elspeth nodded, and both she and her fellow Heralds and the Companions turned to go. She caught my eyes briefly before she departed. "I meant what I said to you before. We aren't going to abandon you."

Tears stung my eyes and I just nodded and turned away before I lost complete control.

I wandered deeper into the Field, towards the river, trying not to stumble through my desperate attempts to stem the sobs that wanted to burst forth. I was not a child, I told myself sternly, trying to maintain control. I was an adult, thirty years old, and I had chosen to do this, knowing that getting stuck here was a possibility. But then the image of my parents, who would never know what had happened to me, flashed across my mind. I had left them a note telling them that I had gone to help a friend and that I would be back in a day or two. Now...

The tears streamed down my face. I wasn't sad so much at the thought of never seeing them again as I was at the thought that they would never know what had happened to me. I would be listed as missing, and they would never know that I was okay. The assumption would be that I had been murdered, and they would never have closure to that nightmare. It wasn't fair to me, but it was even more unfair to them, and I was suddenly angry with myself that I hadn't thought of that earlier. If I had, I could have left a better note, one that would have assured them that I was okay. I might not have come at all.

And my orphans—they were _waiting_ for me. I had promised them faithfully that I would come back to them. They'd been disappointed so often in their lives, and it had taken me months just to get them to trust me. And now?

I sat down by the river, hugged my knees to my chest and gave free rein to my sobs. How could I have been so selfish as to have let my curiosity take precedence over the needs of those I loved?

_:You shouldn't do this to yourself.:_

I raised my head to see the glowing form of a Companion stallion laying in the grass within a handsbreadth of me. I hadn't even heard him approach, and I wasn't really interested in talking to anyone.

"What do you know about what I should and shouldn't do?" I demanded bitterly. "And furthermore, why were you reading my thoughts?"

:_Forgive me for the intrusion_,: he replied, :_but I know all about making hard decisions that don't turn out the way you expect. You'll second guess yourself to death if you're not careful._:

I just looked at him.

_:My name is Landon,_: he continued, :_and I thought you could use a friend._:

I uncurled and wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face in his mane.

:_By the way, you're never too old to have a good cry_,: he finished.

I sobbed myself out on his shoulder—or whatever passed for a Companion's shoulder—and eventually fell asleep.

It was midday by the time I awoke, and Landon hadn't moved a muscle in that time.

_:How do you feel?_: he asked as I sat up and stretched.

"A little better," I replied. "Thank you."

_:My pleasure,_: he returned.

I regarded him curiously. "If I ask you a question, will you tell me the truth?"

_:I give you my word that I will never lie to you,_: he replied.

"I know who you are," I said.

:_Yes, I know. Gwena and the others told us about you. What is your question?_:

"Did she lie to me?" I asked, searching his eyes. "Did Gwena just promise me a way home in order to get back here?" Of all the times I needed the truth, now was it.

_:No,_: Landon replied somberly. _:I don't believe she did. Using the Gate to return back home made the magics even more unstable than they already were. They were simply too wild to use a third time.:_

I nodded. Treachery on the part of the Companions would have made living here impossible, instead of just almost-impossible. I looked over to Landon once more. "Are you going to suppress my knowledge of you and Valdemar?"

_:No,_: he replied. _:We know that you won't say anything, and we also know that your Valdemar is different from ours. It wouldn't make much difference in any case. Besides_,: he continued, _:it was your knowledge of Valdemar that significantly affected your decision to come here. We couldn't take that from you.:_

"I appreciate that," I said. "Thank you." I looked around me and then at the sun. "I probably should be getting back to the Palace. The day is getting on."

_:I'm here if you want to talk. And remember, Rolan said they would keep trying.:_

My vision blurred for a moment, and I threw my arms around his neck once more in wordless thanks before rising and making my way back to my suites.

The afternoon went by in a blur. I was whisked away for lunch with Selenay, and was about ready to scream by the time she and Talia and Elspeth had finished apologizing to me two hours later. I knew they felt badly for what happened, but the constant apologies were wearing on me. Following a subsequent nap, I felt a desperate need to lose myself in something outside of my misery.

In wandering the corridors of the Palace, I soon found myself in the library. As soon as I entered, a page came up to me.

"How can I help you, my lady?" he asked.

I didn't look much like a lady in my jeans and t-shirt, but I supposed that didn't matter. There was a kind of sympathy in his eyes, and I realized that the saying about nothing traveling faster than bad news transcended time and space.

I hadn't really intended to come here, but now that I was here, with the resources at my fingertips, I figured I might as well take advantage of the situation.

"I'd like to read the history of Valdemar," I said.

"From the beginning?" the page asked.

"Yes, please," I replied. I knew I wouldn't get much information from the history prior to Vanyel, as the books said little, if anything, about it. I thought it wise, however, to request the entire chronicles. It would raise suspicion if a perfect stranger were to request history texts from a certain point of a history she wasn't supposed to know anything about.

"Very good, my lady," the page answered. "I will have those materials sent to your suites immediately."

I started to protest, but then thought better of it. I had no idea what I was going to find in the chronicles. Best to read them, then, in a place where my reactions would be hidden and I would not potentially betray myself.

"Thank you," I replied. With a smile, I turned and exited the library. I made my way back to my suites and after requesting a supply of food and drink, prepared to spend some time in study.

Hours later, I had a headache that even a dose of Advil didn't touch. I suspected it was due to reading by candlelight—something I was not accustomed to doing—but I had been so engrossed in my study, I hadn't wanted to stop. I even declined an invitation to join Selenay for dinner, choosing to have a light supper brought to me.

I was glad I had done it. I was even more glad that I had decided to read the materials in the privacy of my suites. I was so blown away by what I'd read that I doubted that I could have maintained a poker face had I been in public.

I set aside the final volume and rubbed my eyes. Things were so different from the Valdemar I knew. I had been surprised from the very first volume I had picked up. It had been one about Vanyel.

According to this volume, Vanyel didn't die in a Final Strike. He somehow managed to defeat the Dark Lord and live to a ripe old age with Stefan. He seemed to have spent the rest of his life convincing Valdemar that Herald-Mages were no different than regular Heralds, and from what I could tell in the histories, it worked. Herald-Mages didn't fade from history, though they were rather rare after that point, and they were treated just like normal Heralds and vice versa.

The next interesting thing I found concerned Hulda, Elspeth's nurse. It seemed that Elspeth's Mage potential was recognized at an early age by Hulda. Hulda herself was recorded as being a mage who tried to kidnap Elspeth and take her to Hardorn. It didn't say why, but her plan was foiled, however, by Talia and Skif, and she was captured and confessed everything under the Truth Spell, and was subsequently executed. There was then a minor note in the records that Elspeth was to receive training as a mage once her Gift began to manifest itself. It also seemed that ever since Hulda's failed attempt to kidnap Elspeth, there had been magical skirmishes along the Valdemar/Hardorn border. The most recent chronicles seemed to hint at the general expectation of an out-and-out war breaking out between the two sides sometime in the near future.

From that, I concluded that since Hulda was discovered, and given her connection to Hardorn and the skirmishes being fought, there would never have been a marriage proposal from Ancar, thus there would never have been a trip to Hardorn by Kris and Talia, and Kris would never have been killed. There would also have been no war precipitated by those events, which would explain why Kerowyn was not in Haven, or Selenay's husband, for that fact. Also, since there was always magic in Valdemar, Elspeth would never have had to leave Valdemar to find training, thus the absence in Valdemar of Darkwind and the others who were in the books.

I did find some other interesting notations as well. Orthallen had suddenly "disappeared" after Hulda was captured. The chronicles had branded him a traitor, as apparently Hulda had confessed under the Truth Spell that he was somehow complicit in the whole matter. He had a price on his head, and there was no record of him ever having been discovered since.

As for Karse, things seemed the same as they did in the books, except that there was no mention of Solaris or of an alliance. Perhaps everything had been pushed back in time, as it were. By this time in the books, there had been more than one war with Hardorn, and even with the Eastern Empire. But here, things seemed to be moving much more slowly in that regard. Everything was years behind.

The entire thing raised more questions than it answered, I thought as I dressed for bed. Specifically, two: why didn't Vanyel die in a Final Strike, and why, given the fact that magic didn't leave Valdemar, did Elspeth still get Chosen by a Groveborn Companion?

I had no answers, but I was determined to find some.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thanks again for the reviews!! I'm having fun working with this on my study breaks (sometimes taking too much of a break)! BUT, can I just take a moment to express my frustration??? I tried to make scene breaks with dots or asterisks or what have you, and even though they showed up in the preview, they didn't show up in the actual story, so I've had to replace this chapter twice, and finally just settled on spelling it out in the story. Hopefully it will work this time!!!

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Chapter 7

"May I ask you a question?"

I had gone for a walk on the far side of the Field and was soon joined by Landon. We continued walking in a comfortable silence for a while before I finally broke it.

_:Of course,_: he replied.

I'd returned to the library the following day and expressed an interest in learning more about Valdemar during Vanyel's time, and specifically about him, and had been rewarded with a smile from the page and a mountainous stack of chronicles and books in response. I was slowly making my way through them, and while I enjoyed reading and learning, even I needed a break from my studies. Thus, my walk in the Field. And, given Landon's appearance, I figured I might as well broach the subject of Elspeth and Gwena.

"If magic has always been around in Valdemar," I began, pausing in our meandering to lean against a tree, "then why did Elspeth need to have a Groveborn Companion?"

Landon's ears went back against his head. :_Groveborn? Gwena?_: His mindvoice held a heavy tone of incredulity. :_Is that what she told you?:_

I suddenly felt as surprised as he. "No, but..." I remembered our conversation on my front lawn. "I alluded to it—in the books, Gwena is Groveborn—and she didn't deny it."

Landon snorted. :_That's just Gwena. Sometimes, I think she thinks she is Groveborn. Yes, she does have a stronger ability to manipulate magic than the rest of us do, Rolan excepted, but she's had as much of a past life as the rest of us have had.:_

"Then why—" I broke off, confused and annoyed. "She knew that I knew the true nature of Companions! I don't understand."

:_As I said_,: Landon replied, :_that's just Gwena. For all of that, she's a decent creature. She was probably just trying to protect the mystique of Companions. I can tell you, it makes some of us pretty nervous to have you, who know all about us, in our midst—and in the midst of the Heralds.:_

I shot him a suspicious look. "Is that why you're being my friend? They want you to keep an eye on me?"

Another snort. :_I am no one's babysitter. And we Companions can take care of ourselves. If we truly thought you a threat, we would have dealt with it.: _

Well that certainly inspired warm, fuzzy feelings in me.

He nudged me in the shoulder with his nose. :_My offer of friendship was sincerely meant, without ulterior motive.:_

I relaxed a little, and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Thank you. I can use a friend." I released him and blinked back tears...it was still so hard to be here. "Well, that's one mystery solved at least."

:_One?_: he queried. :_What else are you investigating?:_

"Well, in the books, Vanyel dies in a Final Strike, but here, he lives to old age. In the books, he was the last Herald-Mage, and magic was forgotten about until Elspeth, the first Herald-Mage since Vanyel. That's why she got a Groveborn Companion." I sighed. "I didn't find anything in the general chronicles, but I think the source of the discrepancies between our two worlds can be found there....if I can find it, that is. And if there is one, of course."

_:And you assume that there is?:_

I looked around me at the world into which I had been cast. "What are the odds that someone in my world would write a fictitious story about a fantastical world that turns out to be real?" I asked. "Actually, a more important question might be how such a thing happened. Logically, the assumption would be that the writer somehow had some knowledge of your world. A great deal of knowledge, actually. Given this, either the writer accurately conveyed in the books what she knew, or she lied."

_:You're getting pretty deep here,_: he commented.

"Bear with me," I replied. "If she told the truth, then something's been changed along the way. If she lied..." I trailed off, shaking my head. "But why would she? No one in my world would know the difference anyway. What purpose would it have served to lie?"

_:If she knew Valdemar was real, perhaps she wished to protect it by conveying it differently to the people of your world,:_ Landon suggested. _:Or perhaps she didn't think there was enough adventure and decided to change things.:_

"Perhaps," I replied, "but that just doesn't seem to make sense."

_:Not everyone operates logically,:_ he pointed out.

"You've got me there."

_:And it matters to you to find the answers to these questions?:_

I understood his implication. "I know what you're thinking," I said. "And there may not be any point to my search, but it gives me something to do."

_:I know being here's been hard on you,:_ he replied.

"Besides, I like puzzles. It's fun to try to figure them out." I reached out and brushed his forelock out of his eyes. "So, did you live back in Vanyel's time? Care to shed some light on these mysteries?"

_:Thank you,:_ he replied, and then tilted his head to look me full in the eye. _:I wouldn't dream of making your quest for knowledge any easier,_: he teased. _:Besides, we can't give up all our secrets.:_ And then, without another word, he nuzzled my cheek and left me to my own thoughts.

_Strange_, I thought. Was it just my imagination, or had there been a hint of discomfort behind the teasing? I watched his retreating form, tempted to pursue him and discover if my intuition was accurate. But no...he respected me, and I needed to do the same for him. Perhaps later, when we came to know each other better—

"Am I intruding?"

I turned towards the sound of the accented voice that had interrupted my thoughts. I was somewhat surprised to find an older man standing there, one dressed in gray with dark hair and a scarred face. I couldn't be certain, but...

"Alberich, I am called," he said.

Two for two on the intuition side for me today.

"How do you do?" I asked. "My name is Jaelle."

"Well, I am," he replied. "The same of you, I would know."

I smiled at his Yoda-like grammar, and his good-hearted interest. "I am sad," I confessed, "but I trust that feeling will pass with time."

"Easy, it is not, what you have done, and what has been done to you," he said.

"No," I agreed.

"Understand, I do, the difficulty of living in a foreign place," he said. "Talk to me, you may, when it pleases you."

I was touched by his offer. "Thank you. I truly appreciate that."

He looked up into the sky. "Class I have now." He then turned a trained, critical eye on me. "Weapons skill you have not, I suspect?"

I suddenly felt an impending sense of doom hovering over me. "You suspect correctly," I confessed. "In my world, swords, if people own them at all—and most don't—are merely decorative, and most people don't know any self-defense techniques."

He frowned a bit. "Interesting world yours is. Busy now you are?"

"I have no obligations at the moment." The sense of doom was descending, and I could not shake it off.

He seemed pleased with the answer. "To class then," he replied. "Learn you will." He motioned expectantly in front of him, as if he wanted me to precede him on the way.

Refusal, apparently, was not an option. I stepped forward, hoping I wasn't going to regret it.

"Good for Valdemar you have been, and will be," he stated, and then proceeded to lead the way to the salle.

Doom followed me all the way there.

_**SCENE BREAK**_

"Bright Lady," Talia gasped as I seated myself for dinner, "what happened to you, Jaelle?"

"Your weaponsmaster happened," I said, wincing in pain as I sat down.

"Alberich?" Selenay asked incredulously. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," I replied, reaching for the goblet in front of me, "that he has taken it upon himself to teach me self defense." I swallowed a liberal amount of the contents of the cup, forcing myself not to betray my revulsion to the open Court. I hated the taste of alcohol, but I was so stiff and sore, I didn't care.

The two women traded curious looks. "Did you ask him for lessons?" Selenay inquired, and I could hear the confusion in her tone.

"No! Angels and ministers of grace, who would deliberately seek something like this out!" I shifted to a more comfortable position, though there was precious little comfort to be found in those wooden chairs. "He came to me, introduced himself, and before I knew it, told me, 'Learn you will,' and hauled me off to one of his classes."

"That doesn't sound like Alberich at all," Talia commented.

Just the smell of cooked food made me feel sick, so I contented myself with picking at a fruit tray in front of me. "He said I had been good for Valdemar and would be again, or something like that," I told them.

A light must have dawned somewhere because Queen and Queen's Own alike stiffened for a moment and just stared at each other.

"Am I missing something?" I asked.

"Do you know anything about Gifts?" Talia asked. "I've heard you've been studying Valdemar's history."

At the mention of Gifts, I felt the light dawn as well and remembered that Alberich had ForeSight. "Yes," I replied, "I thought I would learn as much as I could about your world. I did come across Gifts in some of the chronicles of Heralds."

"Alberich's gift, like mine, is ForeSight," Selenay said. "That means that he can see into the future."

"So you think that he's seen something about me?" I asked. I did not like the sound of that. At all.

"I don't know," Selenay replied. "It might be nothing. I'll ask him."

"I'd rather not know, if it's all the same to you," I said. At least let me get adjusted to living here!

Talia smiled. "It is an awful lot to take in all at once, isn't it?"

"I think I am _far_ too old for adventure like this!" I exclaimed.

Selenay and Talia tried to hide their smiles, but they did such poor jobs of it that I was forced to join in, and soon, we were all trying to hold in our laughter.

_**SCENE BREAK**_

I excused myself early from dinner, regardless of etiquette. It wasn't that I minded the company—on the contrary, I was enjoying the discussion of religious differences between my world and Valdemar with the priest there—it was just that I was so tired. I didn't think I could keep my eyes open any longer. Selenay and Talia understood, and so did the priest, and that was really all that mattered.

I must have been more tired than I thought, because I ended up getting lost somewhere between the hall and my suites. A sudden image of a Bugs Bunny cartoon came to my mind, the one in which he popped up from his tunnel, took out a map, and exclaimed, _"I should have taken a left turn at Albuquerque!_"

Oh, yeah. I was exhausted.

I turned down a corridor, hoping it would lead me back/towards somewhere familiar, but it proved to be as dead an end as everything else I had tried. I turned around, intending to retrace my steps when I heard the most unusual, but familiar, sound.

A child crying.

I followed the sound down an adjacent corridor and turned a corner to see a little girl curled up on a bench outside a door. Her clothes seemed worn and she looked in need of a bath. She couldn't have been more than three years old. My heart went out to her. In one capturing moment, I was taken in.

Ignoring the protest of my stiff muscles, I quickly moved to her side and knelt by the bench. "Are you lost, sweetheart?" I asked.

She jumped at the sound of my voice and lifted her head. Through stringy, matted blond hair, I could see two soft blue eyes looking back at me. I held out my arms and she clambered into them and started to sob.

"Hush now," I soothed, stroking her hair. It felt worse than it looked. "All will be well. Where are your parents?" I swiftly determined that I was going to kick them both to Sorrows for neglecting her like this.

"I d-d-don't h-h-have an-n-y," she sobbed out.

An orphan.

I thought my heart would break right then and there and I held her tightly to me.

"How long have you been here?" I asked, rising. I made my way down the corridor again. Eventually, I would have to come out somewhere, I reasoned.

"N-n-noon," she stammered out.

Noon! Noon?! By _herself_? I couldn't imagine that anyone, even the servants, would leave the child alone had they known of her being there. As we twisted and turned through the Palace halls, the little girl told me what she could of her story. Her name was Lucia, and she was four years old. From what I gathered, she wasn't local. Her parents were dead, and it seemed that some man had brought her to the Palace, to the very bench she was sitting on, and told her to stay and wait for some Lord who would take care of her.

Obviously, something went wrong, and I determined to set it right. We came to a crossway in the halls, and I looked down the corridor to my right and saw two guards standing watch.

Selenay's chambers.

I resolutely walked up to them and demanded to see the Queen. She must have left orders allowing me to enter, because they didn't even reply. They just opened the doors for me. I strode through and nearly ran into Talia, who was on her way out.

"Jaelle!" she exclaimed in surprise, and then took a good look at my bundle. "What in the name— "

I shot her a look that more than conveyed my disgust and she turned to go with me to see Selenay, who was just as surprised to see me as Talia had been. I explained what I knew and was pleased to hear them as outraged as I was.

"Lucia," Talia said, kneeling beside the chair where the little girl now sat, "I'm going to touch your head and try to see what happened to you. I want you to think about your trip here and about your mama and papa. Can you do that?"

Lucia nodded and took another bite of her dinner, which Selenay had ordered be brought to her immediately from the feast hall. Talia closed her eyes and touched Lucia's head. She remained still for a long moment, and when she came out of her trance, it was with a troubled expression.

"What is it?" I asked.

Talia motioned for Selenay and I to draw away from the child so that she would not overhear us. Once done, both the queen and I looked to Talia for an explanation.

"She's a true orphan," Talia said in hushed tones. "I couldn't tell exactly where she is from, but she is from Lord Ehnley's district. Apparently, after her parents died—and I don't know how—she was given into the care of a family, but it seems that they didn't really want her. They paid a man on his way to Haven to bring her along and leave her at Lord Ehnley's door. Which," she finished, glancing over at Lucia, "it appears that he did. From what I gathered from her mind, this man claimed to have an appointment with Lord Ehnley and was allowed into the Palace. He then brought the girl to his door and told her to stay there until Lord Ehnley came back."

"Lord Ehnley left for his estates this morning and won't return for two months," Selenay said. "Didn't this man even care to determine this?"

"He obviously wasn't paid to stay around," I said, not even trying to hide the sarcastic tone that bathed the words. "That she is merely a child is irrelevant, I suppose."

"Did this family actually think that Lord Ehnley would take her in?" Talia asked.

"Surely not," Selenay said. "They must have assumed that he would just turn her over to one of the poor houses here in Haven and be done with it." Her face darkened as she considered this. "Thus, easily ridding themselves of their 'problem.'" She turned to Talia. "I want these people found. We know they live in Ehnley's district, and they must live in a village that is too small to host its own poor house, and one close enough to Haven or on a direct route to it so as to make it easier or cheaper for them to send her here instead of another town's poor house." I could see she was now deep in thought. "I also want this traveller found, though that may be more difficult to do. I find his actions very disturbing."

"Some people will do anything for coin," Talia commented. "Even more disturbing is how he did this at all without someone here taking notice. Granted, Lord Ehnley's offices are in a part of the Palace where most people don't go, but still..." She trailed off, obviously concerned.

"Once he left, I'm guessing no one would really go to that part of the Palace?" I asked.

Both Talia and Selenay nodded their confirmation. "Even the servants, given that no one would be there, would have duties elsewhere," Selenay said.

"I want her," I said suddenly, surprising myself as much as Talia and Selenay.

"Jaelle— "

"I want her," I repeated, cutting Selenay off. I had told both women of my work with orphans, and I could see understanding in their eyes. I took advantage of that and pressed my case. "No one else will claim her, and if your poor houses are anything like what I've seen in my world, then I refuse to let her go there."

I could tell from their eyes that Haven's poor houses weren't the pride and joy of the city.

"Jaelle, I don't know," Talia said uncertainly.

"If I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of my life, I'm going to have to have a life," I countered. "I'm thirty years old, which is young in my world, but nearing middle age here." I looked at them both. "I want to do this. Surely there must be provisions for adopting children here."

"Yes, but—" Selenay began.

"I can't stay in the Palace forever, either," I said, interrupting her protest. "Some decisions will need to be made soon, and no matter where I end up, I want to do this."

"Why don't you two spend some time together?" Talia suggested. "We're all tired, and tonight is not the night to be deciding anything weighty. We'll discuss it more in the morning."

I wanted to protest, but I knew when to back off. All the same, Lucia had captured my heart, and I wasn't going to give her up without a life-and-death fight. I could tell both Talia and Selenay sensed this, and I was content to leave it at that for now.

I looked over to Lucia, who was just finishing her meal. She was desperately in need of a bath and some clean clothes. I realized, with a great deal of joy, that it would be a long time before I found my bed.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Well, classes have taken over!! I didn't think it would take me so long to update, but there it is. Thank you ALL for your reviews! You're very kind! Oh, and to etcetera-cat, regarding updating, **coughgrasscoughiscoughgreenercough** Pardon me there. Must have been some pollen or something. :-)

Chapter 8

I held Lucia's hand as we walked through Companions Field. "There's someone I want you to meet," I told her. She'd been in my care for several days now, but we'd been so busy doing daily tasks that I hadn't had time to introduce her to Landon, yet.

"Is it a Companion?" she asked, wide-eyed.

I nodded. "His name is Landon."

"Why aren't you wearing white then?"

"Because I'm not a Herald," I replied.

Her little brow furrowed in thought. "But you go to class, and you have a Companion."

I smiled down on her. "Master Alberich is teaching me self-defense, and Landon is my friend, but that's all. I'm not Chosen."

"Oh," came her soft reply. And then, a moment later, "I'd like to be a Herald."

I could see Landon in the distance, and as he noticed us, he broke away from some other Companions and started towards us. "Well," I said to Lucia, "maybe someday you will be."

She shook her head and said, in a very sad voice, "No, I won't."

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"Because," she replied, "the man in the wagon told me they were going to send me to the poor house, and Companions don't go there." And she looked up at me, her eyes brimming with tears.

I immediately stopped walking and knelt down next to her. "That is _not_ true," I said firmly. "First of all, Companions go everywhere, and secondly—" I paused. I hadn't said anything to Lucia about adoption, out of deference to Talia's request, and my own uncertainty on how to broach the subject. But knowing Lucia's fears made it impossible for me to remain silent. "Secondly," I continued, a little more softly, "you don't have to go to the poor house. You can stay with me. I—I'd like to be your mother, if that's alright with you."

Lucia threw herself at me with such force, I was almost knocked backwards from the impact. She wrapped her arms around my neck so tightly, I found it hard to breathe.

"Is this a 'yes'?" I asked.

"Oh, yes," she cried, and squeezed all the more.

Thankfully Landon arrived before I passed out, and Lucia transferred her exuberance to him, clinging to one of his front legs and babbling her news to him in childish glee.

:_I take it you told her of your plans to adopt her?_: he asked.

"How did you know about that?"

:_Everyone knows,_: he replied simply. :_At least, everyone among the Companions._: He shook his forelock out of his eyes and gazed down on me. :_We all support your decision. And, personally, I'm very proud of you._:

I felt my own eyes tear up and I rose to wrap my arms around his neck.

:_Lucia_,: I heard him say, :_would you like a ride?_:

_That_ stopped her chatter for a full moment as she digested not only the shock of hearing a strange voice in her head, but also the wondrous proposal before her: a chance to ride on a real Companion.

"Yes, please," she whispered.

Smiling, I picked her up and put her on Landon's back. She grabbed a fistful of his mane, her face breaking into one, huge smile.

"Would you like me to stay with you?" I asked as Landon started walking away.

She shook her head, her soft hair teased by the breeze. "I'll be all right, Mama," she called back to me.

It was a good thing, I realized as she moved away, for I couldn't have budged if a pack of wyrsa were on my tail.

Mama.

I thought my heart would break. In a good sort of way, that is. I watched her and Landon walk, and then trot around our area of the Field for a while. Every so often, her laugh would echo back to me, and I couldn't help but smile in return.

My daughter.

Staying in Valdemar didn't seem quite so bad anymore.

I looked across the Field and saw that Landon had stopped moving. He was staring at another part of the Field, and I followed his gaze to see the other Companions doing the same. A moment later, a deep bell began to toll. It took me a moment to realize that it was the Death Bell.

Landon came over soon after, and I helped Lucia down from his back. Her exuberance was somewhat checked as she dismounted.

"Someone died, Landon said," she told me as I set her down.

I raised my eyes to Landon's. "What happened?" Lucia started off after a butterfly, and I kept one eye on her while conversing with Landon.

I heard him sigh heavily in my mind before he replied. :_What always happens. We've lost another Herald in the Forest_.:

"What forest?" I asked. The only forest I knew of was Sorrows, and no Herald ever died there.

:_The Great Forest_,: Landon replied.

_The Great Forest?_ "What Great Forest?" I asked. "I've never heard of that."

:_Surely you must have,_: Landon stated. :_The Great Forest forms a large part of the northern border of Valdemar. It's the most dangerous part of the kingdom. Circuits there are only three months on average, and we never send fewer than two Heralds at a time. Northern raiders are a year-round problem, and we've lost more Heralds in the Forest than in all our skirmishes with Karse and Hardorn combined._:

I couldn't have been more stunned than if he'd kicked me. He must have noticed this, because he stepped forward and nudged me with his nose. :What's wrong?:

"Landon, this is totally backwards," I said. "In the books, what you call the Great Forest is known as the Forest of Sorrows."

:_Well, that's certainly an appropriate name_,: he interjected.

"Sorrows is the safest place in Valdemar," I said. "Female Heralds patrol there alone for more than a year at a time."

Now _he_ looked like _I'd_ kicked _him._ :_How is that possible?_: he demanded.

"It goes back to Vanyel," I replied. "_Everything_ seems to be converging on him!" And I could not keep a touch of annoyance from my tone. "All these differences are focused on _him_," I complained.

:_What does Vanyel have to do with the Forest?_: Landon asked. His mindvoice seemed to tremble a bit, and I couldn't tell if it was from fear or impatience. Perhaps both. The perception wasn't strong, but it was real, and with it came the renewed conviction that Landon was hiding something from me, something that would shed some light on this mystery that was growing deeper and more frustrating with each passing day.

"It is because of Vanyel that the Forest is safe," I told him. "Remember I told you that in the books, Vanyel dies? Well, he dies by calling down Final Strike against Laereth in the Forest of Sorrows, and after he dies, he and Yfandes, and eventually Stephen, stay behind from the Havens to guard the Forest. _No one_ intending harm to Valdemar can live for more than a few moments in the Forest. It's the safest place in the entire kingdom."

:_I–_: Landon started, but then just stopped. If he had looked surprised before, he looked positively shaken to his core now, as much as a horse-like creature could be said to look shaken. Had he been human, I would have bet good money that he'd have been forcibly keeping himself from fainting or losing his lunch.

What was going on behind those troubled blue eyes???

"Landon," I began, "I've known for days now that you're keeping something from me, something more than just your silly Companion secrets. It's obvious that it has something to do with these bizarre differences between our Valdemars."

:_I have to go_,: he said abruptly, and before I could raise even the smallest of protests, he had wheeled about and broken into a canter, gone from my sight before I'd done more than drawn breath.

Obviously, I had hit the nail on the head. I suppose there was no good way to extricate oneself from such a direct question, but Landon's abrupt departure only served to highlight the truth of my observation all the more. I caught sight of Lucia some ways down the Field and called to her. It was time for her nap, and I had a stack of books waiting for me. I was more certain than ever that somewhere buried in their odd scripts was the answer to the puzzle.

SCENEBREAK

Two hours later, I had only succeeded in frustrating myself. The chronicles of Vanyel and his time spoke in glowing terms of everything about him _but_ the events surrounding his defeat of Laereth. That victory got little more than strict factual reporting in the books. Coincidence? Impossible, I reasoned. His greatest victory, and the pages of history aren't singing his praises??

I suddenly stopped in mid-thought, frozen by the cliche-ic phrase my mind had thrown out.

_Singing his praises_.

Stephan. He'd been a Bard and he'd had Vanyel's ear in a way that no one else, except for 'Fandes had. Was there a chance that he, or some other Bard, might have put something into song that might not have made it into the chronicles?

Lucia was just waking up, and Selenay had sent for me to come visit her once Lucia's nap was over. I would have to suspend my search for information until later that evening.

Per Selenay's request, I dropped Lucia off in the Royal Nursery and made my way to her office, where she was waiting for me.

"How is Lucia?" she asked upon my arrival.

"She's doing well," I replied with a huge smile. "She called me 'Mama' today." I paused to wipe tears from my eyes. "I don't care what–"

Selenay held up her hand to forestall my protest. "The papers are here. I had them drawn up today. Every Companion of any Herald I've seen in the past few days has had their Chosens tell me that Lucia and you belong together." She smiled graciously. "I've never seen that kind of support from the Companions before."

"Do you think I'm wrong?" I asked.

"Wrong?" she echoed. "If you are, would that all my people would be so wrong!" She favored me with a kind look. "It's not that, Jaelle. We were just concerned that you were doing this from shock, and that once that shock wears off, Lucia would be the one to suffer."

I nodded thoughtfully. "I understand your concern, but I will not abandon my daughter." The resolve I felt filled me, and I wished there was a way that I could have conveyed that to her. Of all the times for Talia to be absent, this was not one of the better ones.

But Selenay seemed to sense this in spite of the absence of her right hand. Whatever worry seemed to be lurking in her eyes flowed away into a quiet joy. "Then I have no objections," she replied, and she reached across and signed one of the many papers on her desk. She rolled it up and tied it with a golden cord and then rose and came around the desk and handed it to me. "I wish you all the joy motherhood brings."

With a trembling hand, I accepted the paper, torn between tears and laughter. With a laugh of her own, Selenay embraced me.

"Why don't you go tell Lucia? I'm sure she'll be delighted," she suggested. "I wish I could be there to witness it, but I have Council meeting in a few moments."

"She will," I confirmed. "She told me this morning that she was afraid she was going to be sent to the poorhouse. She said the man who brought her here told her so."

The joy in Selenay's eyes dimmed a bit at that news. "I promise you, we'll find him. I will not abide such injustice while I have breath in me."

I was put to mind of the Death Bell earlier that day. "I'm very sorry to hear of the loss of your Herald this morning."

What joy was left in her eyes faded to allow the sadness she was feeling to shine through. "I feel like a part of me dies every time I hear the Bell toll," she confessed, and I had the distinct feeling that few people were privy to seeing this side of their queen. Perhaps because I was so foreign and not in any position to exploit her confidence, she felt at ease with me. No matter the cause, I was deeply touched.

But what could I say? I did not have the weight of a kingdom on my shoulders, did not have to make choices that would send others to their deaths. "I wish I could help," I replied quietly.

"Jaelle, you have helped us more than you can imagine," she replied. "If you hadn't brought my daughter home, I would never have had those papers she brought with her. More than one person would have died this morning, and many more would have died in the future that might now be spared."

"But it doesn't make the Bell any easier to bear, does it?"

She smiled sadly. "Nothing eases that pain, I'm afraid."

There was little to say, and so I said nothing as we left her suites together, going our separate ways.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Well, after spending a week of intense reading, I think I'm getting ahead in my studies, so hopefully I can work on this story a little more. I really appreciate all the reviews! I don't know how many times I can say that before it starts sounding stupid and trite, but I mean it!! And I do expect that all questions/theories/etc. will be answered in due time---but I certainly enjoy reading everyone's speculations!!!

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Chapter 9

I crashed to the floor of the salle in ignominious defeat. _At least_, I thought with grim satisfaction, _I took him with me._

I opened my eyes to see Alberich pick himself up and casually dust himself off as if he hadn't just tried to strangle me, and I hadn't just fought back tooth and nail, holding on so tightly, he fell with me when I lost my balance. He extended his hand to me, and I reached for it, wincing in pain as I allowed him to help me up.

"Not bad," he commented.

I resisted the urge to snort. Oh, puh-leeese. Children half my age were dancing circles around me. I had yet to keep from being "killed" by Alberich, and he thought my miserable performance was "not bad"? Compared to _what_??? Instead of indulging my frustrations, however, I opted for a more neutral reply.

"I am far too old for this," I groaned, dusting myself off as I tried to ignore the throbbing pain in the arm I had unceremoniously landed on. And Alberich had partially broken my fall.

Yes, I was _definitely_ too old for this.

I could hear the students try to smother their amusement, but Alberich didn't even bother to attempt to hide his. His back to his students, he allowed himself the luxury of a smile, his eyes fairly twinkling with laughter at me.

"Worse, I have seen," he replied, going over to the weapons rack by the wall and taking something from it. He was all business again as he returned and handed me the wooden equivalent of a knife. "Weaponswork, we shall begin today."

I hadn't been prepared for this, and I suddenly felt like he'd just plunged that knife into my heart. I could only stare at it as he stepped back a few paces.

"Come, attack!" he commanded.

But I couldn't move. I could only stand there and stare at that stupid knife, frozen, as though my feet had been nailed to the floor. I was assaulted with memories I had fought so hard to overcome.

_Little Aaron..._

I heard Alberich call my name, and as though that were a release of sorts, I looked up to see a concerned sort of confusion in his eyes.

I found his image suddenly blurred by tears, and I shook my head. "I can't," I said, and, dropping the knife, I turned and fled the salle.

I had never run from anything—not from my grandmother's funeral, or the squalid living conditions of the orphans in Romania, or even the sight of a precious five year old boy with a knife in his side—

_Oh, my heart!_ came the cry from deep within me._ Did you know I would have adopted you first?_

But I ran from this. I simply could _not_ wield a knife. I had only just been able to pick up a steak knife again without trembling when the Heralds appeared on my doorstep. To fight with one—it was impossible. I'd held little Aaron in my arms as the life quietly ebbed from him. I hadn't signed up for that when I'd chosen to go abroad, and it had affected me more profoundly than anything else ever had.

I was sobbing by now, stumbling along who-knows-where when I, quite literally, ran into a broad, white, velvet-soft form.

I didn't know who it was, and I didn't care. I just wrapped my arms around his or her neck and sobbed as I hadn't done since I'd buried Aaron.

:_There now_,: a maternal voice said in my mind. :_It wasn't your fault._:

I felt a nudge on my shoulder and I looked up to see Landon there. I transferred my tears to his mane and felt his comfort wash over me.

:_Althea is right, Jaelle_,: he said. :_Aaron's death wasn't your fault._:

"I know," I sobbed out. No one could have known those thugs were lying in wait for us that night. "But I—I—" I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. "Seeing that knife—I couldn't stop the memories from coming."

I heard approaching footfalls in the grass and I looked over Landon's shoulder to see Herald Treven, one of the students from the weapons class, drawing near. I did _not_ want to talk to anyone, but there was no way out of it. I dried my eyes as best I could, but I was surprised to see him walk past me and give Althea a kiss on the nose.

"Thank you, love," he said. She nuzzled him back and, casting me a sympathetic look, trotted away.

"She's your Companion?" I asked, sufficiently diverted from my tears at the unexpected sight.

"When she claims me," he replied with a wry smile. But then the smile faded and he stepped closer. "I asked her to intercept you." Before I could protest, he continued. "I saw how you looked at that knife. I know what that's like, and maybe it's not my place, but I also know that being alone right now is the worst possible thing you can do."

I didn't know whether to be grateful or angry at his blatant invasion, but seeing the compassion in his eyes, I swallowed my ire and chose the former. With a sigh, I wiped the tears from my eyes with a corner of my t-shirt.

"I've got some tea and sweetcakes in my suites," he said. "Care to join me and talk about it?"

Lucia was spending the afternoon playing with Elspeth's daughter, and class was obviously over for both of us, so—

Nodding my assent, I kissed Landon goodbye and followed Treven to the Herald's wing of the Collegium. He ushered me into his suites, a surprisingly neat, clean set of rooms.

"How long have you been a Herald?" I asked, taking a seat in an old, stuffed chair, as he set about making tea.

"Fifteen years this summer," he replied with a smile. "I was Chosen when I was fourteen, got my Whites when I was nineteen, and now I'm thirty-four."

"What was it like, being Chosen?" I asked, accepting the cup and saucer he held out to me.

His brown eyes grew thoughtful, and a look of wonder overshadowed his face for a moment. "I felt like I had come home." He shook off the reverie into which he had fallen and smiled at me. "Don't misunderstand—I didn't have a bad life. My parents loved me very much, and provided a good home for me and my brothers, but I had always felt like something was...missing, somehow." He shook his head, a small bit of that wonder returning to his eyes. "It wasn't until Althea showed up that I realized what it was that had been missing."

I watched him as he set a pot of water to boil over the fire. "Were any of your brothers Chosen?"

"No," he replied, turning from the fireplace. "I was the only one of the three of us. Jadon and Marc are at the family keep, raising sheep and babies and living very happy lives." Treven took a seat across from me and set the tray of sweetcakes on the low table between us. "Please, help yourself," he said, taking a cake of his own. "I've found that life generally turns out for the best." He paused to glance at me. "But there are exceptions to that rule, unfortunate ones. Do you want to talk about yours?"

I chose a cake for myself and proceed to tell him about my life, my work with the orphans, and about little Aaron—all with relatively few tears.

"That would shake anyone," he said soberly once I finished my tale. "I'm sure Alberich will understand."

"I hope so," I replied.

"If you'd like, I could have Althea tell Kantor," Treven offered. "He can tell Alberich for you."

"Would they mind?" I asked. At this point, I didn't even want to _see_ Alberich again, let alone have to explain. It was a cowardly reaction on my part, I knew, but I didn't have the emotional strength to resist the temptation.

"Not at all," he replied, rising to check on the water. "Consider it done." He fetched our cups and proceeded to make the tea.

"Thank you," I replied.

Smiling, he brought the tea back over. "It's nothing. I'm happy to help." He handed me my cup. "I hope you like chamomile—it's my favorite. There's honey here, too, if you want to sweeten it."

I carefully took the steaming cup from his hands. "I love chamomile, thank you." I added a dollop of honey and stirred it a few times before testing it. "This is perfect," I told him. "Thank you again."

"My pleasure," he responded. "I've watched you in class since you started, and, of course, heard all the rumors. If I may be so bold as to say it, I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you." He took a sip of his tea. "I'm just sorry it had to be like this."

"I hope you didn't feel like you needed an excuse," I said.

"Most of us aren't really sure how to approach you," Treven confessed. "Which makes it doubly hard for the shy ones like me." Embarrassed, he smiled at me. "I'd love to hear about your world."

I glanced at my watch, which I had reset to conform to the sundial in the gardens. It was just past three, and I needed to go retrieve Lucia by three-thirty—or somewhat close to that. Did I have time to go into—

"What is that?" Treven asked, breaking into my thoughts.

I looked up to see him pointed at my watch, and I smiled. Setting my teacup down on the table, I took off my watch and handed it to him. "It's a watch. It tells me what time it is, like a sundial, only more accurately and all the time. I was checking because I need to go fetch Lucia in a little bit." I don't think he even heard me, he was so enraptured by the timepiece.

"How does this little wand move?" he asked in awe, setting his own cup down so as to give his full attention to the watch. "And is this the moon?" He turned it over in his hands, examining it carefully.

"It has springs inside give it its power when they are wound up by the dial on the side," I replied. I had always wanted a wind-up watch, nostalgic that I was, and my parents had gotten this one for me when I graduated from college. "And, yes, that's the moon. It also keeps track of the moon's phases." I leaned closer. "As you can see, it will be full moon tomorrow."

He looked up at me with such wonder on his face I was hard put to keep from laughing. "How does it know that?"

"I don't know," I confessed. "It just does."

He handed it back to me with a shake of his head. "They said your world was amazing, but I didn't imagine anything like this." He retrieved his cup of tea from the table. "Elspeth said you also have a FarSpeaking device that makes music."

"FarSpeaking device?" I echoed. And music??

Treven nodded. "She said you were speaking to your parents with it, but that they were on the other side of your kingdom."

I laughed. "I understand now. It's called a telephone." I took a sip of my tea. "That first evening during dinner my parents called me from Colorado, a place on the other side of the country."

"And this telephone involves no mind magic?" Treven asked.

I shook my head. "No. It turns the speaker's voice into something like lightning, sends it along wires to where the listener is, and then turns the lightning back into the speaker's voice."

"That sounds like magic to me!" Treven replied, laughing.

I had to agree. "For what it's worth, I'm just as amazed at such abilities as Mindspeech and Fetching, to say nothing of real magic!" I finished my tea off and set the cup down on the table. "May I ask what Gifts you have?"

"Mindspeech and Fetching," he said with a laugh. "And a touch of Firestarting, though it's not enough to do more than light the tinder in a fireplace." He finished off his own tea. "But it always comes in handy when I'm on circuit."

"Do you go out often?" I asked.

Nodding, he gathered the tea cups and rose. "As often as I can. Right now, I'm taking my turn at teaching the history and geography of my home area to the trainees, but I expect to be sent back out within the next couple of weeks."

He gathered the rest of the things and brought them over to a sideboard. Glancing at my watch, I rose as well. Lucia would be expecting me soon.

"Thank you for your kindness, Treven," I said to him.

"Leaving so soon?" he asked.

"Lucia—my daughter—she's waiting for me," I explained.

"I heard about that—we all did, actually—and I think what you did is wonderful," he replied.

I felt suddenly bold. "Perhaps we could have dinner sometime," I suggested. "I'd love for her to meet you."

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wanted to crawl into a hole. What had possessed me to say such a thing? I didn't know a _thing_ about this man. For all I knew, he was married, or lifebonded or something. I felt my face turn three shades of red. Had I just ruined what seemed to be a great beginning to a perfectly fine friendship—something I had very little of here outside of Selenay and Talia?

:_He's not married or lifebonded or given to another,_: came Landon's unexpected input in my mind, startling me so much, I nearly fell over. :_And, according to Althea, he likes you, something that ought to be obvious to you._:

"Are you all right?" Treven asked, reaching out to steady me.

"I'm fine," I replied. "Landon just spoke to me. It startled me, that's all."

Treven's eyes went wide. "He spoke to you?" He looked at me carefully. "Did he Choose you?"

"No," I replied, "we're just friends. He's spoken to me before, but never at a distance." _Especially since he promised not to invade my thoughts._

:_I never promised any such thing,_: Landon said.

"I've never heard of a Companion doing something like that before," Treven said.

While I _could_ walk and chew gum at the same time, I could not carry on two simultaneous conversations, and since Treven was infinitely more attractive than Landon, I turned my attention to him, ignoring the stubborn horse in the back of my mind for the time being.

"I think I'm an exception to a lot of rules," I replied. "Plus, I think they feel sorry for me, since they couldn't get me back."

I "heard" an affronted snort in my mind and a moment later, could no longer sense Landon's presence there.

What was _that_ all about?? _Whatever_, I thought, trying not to roll my eyes. I had no time to deal with it at that point. I was already late retrieving Lucia as it was, and Treven had said something to me in reply, which, thanks to Landon, I had only caught snatches of...something about Companions and surprise...but it didn't seem to require a reply, so I just made my way to the door.

"Perhaps we could have dinner tonight," Treven suggested.

_That_ caught my attention, reminding me of what had gotten me all flustered in the first place, and I felt myself blush. Me. At thirty.

I had to get out of there.

"Okay," I replied. "When?"

He smiled at me and opened the door. "You have your hands full, so I'll cook. I'll come get you when it's ready."

_He cooks?_ I felt myself returning his smile in spite of myself. "That sounds good." I turned and started down the corridor. As soon as I heard the door close behind me, I paused and leaned up against the wall, softly banging my head against it. Was I thirty, or thirteen?

I didn't have the time for self-indulgent speculation, however, and I pushed away from the wall, and all but sprinted to the nursery, where both Lucia and Elspeth were waiting for me.

"I'm sorry I'm late," I announced as I entered the room.

Hearing my voice, Lucia looked up from her toys and, seeing me, flew across the room and into my arms. Landon and Treven, and even Aaron were forgotten as I held her for that brief moment.

"Mother wanted me to bring you by her suites later today," Elspeth said. "Are you busy now?"

"No," I replied, shifting Lucia's weight to a more comfortable position. I had wanted to peruse some of the old Bardic tales, but if Selenay was requesting my presence, the tales could wait. "What's going on?"

She smiled, a merry twinkle in her eyes. "Oh, you'll see."


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Thanks again for the reviews!!! Lizai, Jaelle and Aaron were ambushed by a bunch of thugs. It was just a one-sentence remark, as I didn't want to spend a whole lot of time in flashback.

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Chapter 10

Selenay was waiting for us when we arrived at her suites. I put Lucia down and she and Kyrah, Elspeth's daughter, ran off to play while we "grown-ups" talked.

"She's a precious one," Selenay commented, watching Lucia interact with her granddaughter for a moment before turning back to me. "I'm glad you were able to come."

"Of course," I replied, noting the sparkle in her eye that matched the one in her daughter's. "So what's going on?"

Selenay motioned us over to some comfortable-looking chairs. "I think I have a long-term solution for you and Lucia."

"Oh?" I asked. This sounded very interesting indeed. "What is it?"

"Well," Selenay began, "I've just received word that Lord Nestor died."

"I'm so sorry," I interjected. "Were you close?" I rather doubted it, given the nonchalant manner in which she spoke, but I hadn't been in Valdemar anyways near long enough to feel comfortable yet with all the subtle nuances of communication.

Selenay replied with a rather un-queenly snort. "Hardly. We only met once. He was a cantankerous old man, second or third cousin to my father, or some such thing." She reached over to a tall, slim table for a goblet and sipped it. "In any case, he never married or even bedded anyone as far as can be told, so he died without an heir." She rose and went over to her desk, retrieving a parchment and returning to her seat.

She handed me the slip of paper, and I glanced at it to find that it was a map of Valdemar with a small "X" marked on it some ways north of Haven. "What is this?" I asked, glancing back up at her.

"The mark," she replied, "is the location of his estates. They're rather small—"

"I was up there recently," Elspeth said. "Aside from the keep itself, there were about five other homes of families under Lord Nestor's care who worked the land for him and tended his livestock." She paused in thought for a moment. "I believe his raised a special kind of goat that yielded a very soft kind of hair the women would spin into yarn and sell." She shook her head clear of her musings. "In any case, he wasn't a very good steward of his people or his property."

I nodded politely, but felt as though I were missing something that seemed rather obvious to both Selenay and Elspeth. "I'm sorry to hear that," I ventured, "but what does this have to do with me?"

Selenay seemed hardly able to contain her smile. "Since Lord Nestor had no heir, and since he was a distant relative to the Crown, his lands reverted back to the Crown upon his death."

Again, what did this have to do with me? I must have still looked confused because her smile grew all the wider.

"I'm going to ennoble you," she announced, "and deed his lands over to you. That way, you will have a place to live and means whereby to provide for yourself and Lucia, and any other little that might happen to come along."

I could not have been more stunned—shocked—than if she'd struck me in the face with a board. My board-struck face must have been overly expressive, because both she and Elspeth burst into peals of laughter.

"I told you she'd be like this," Elspeth commented to her mother.

"So you did," Selenay replied.

"I made her promise to let me be here when she told you," Elspeth said to me.

I, however, was still stuck back at Selenay's announcement. "I'm sorry," I said, once I could find my voice, "but you're going to _what_?"

"Ennoble you," Selenay replied, still fighting down laughter. "You'll be a Lady, and inherit Lord Nestor's lands."

"But—"

"The Council has already voted to deed them over to you," Selenay said, "and the papers have already been drawn up."

"But I don't know anything about being a Lady!" I protested. "To say nothing of managing an estate!"

Selenay sobered a little and bestowed upon me a sympathetic smile. "You will do fine. My touch of ForeSight told me it was the right thing to do."

"Is it not a perfect solution to your situation?" Elspeth asked.

It seemed so, but... "I don't know what to say," I told them. I had hoped for a small house in Haven somewhere, perhaps, but I had never anticipated something like this. A whole estate...

"Say 'yes'," Selenay suggested.

I smiled in return and nodded. "Okay. Yes, it is." I tried to contain my own smile then. "Thank you. This is so much more than I could ever have imagined."

"It's the least we could do," Elspeth said, "after what you've done for us, and we not even being able to get you home."

"You did your best," I stated, with less pain that I had thought I would feel. "So, when do I leave? How long does it take to get there?"

"Your ennobling will take place in a formal ceremony tomorrow," Selenay replied. "I anticipated your answer," she confessed sheephishly, "and I've already sent word to the estate to prepare for your and Lucia's arrival sometime in the next two weeks or so. It should take you about a week to get there, which will give you time to pack your things."

"My things?" I echoed. "I could pack my things in an hour!"

Selenay and Elspeth laughed. "Not anymore!" Elspeth exclaimed. "We're going to outfit you and Lucia both with entirely new wardrobes that befit your rank."

"We'll take your measurements down tomorrow as well," Selenay added, "and, hopefully, have a few things ready for you when you go. The rest we'll send up later."

I could only stare at them, speechless, my eyes filling with grateful tears.

"As you can see," Elspeth replied to my silence, "we've thought of everything."

"It was Talia's idea really," Selenay said. "She wanted to be here, but today was the first day that she and Dirk have had to spend some time alone together."

"I don't know what to say," I replied, finally finding my voice. "'Thank you' just doesn't seem enough."

"This is _our_ 'thank you' to you," Elspeth said. "Your generosity and sacrifice saved many lives. It was the least we could do."

"I hope I make a good noble, and don't utterly disgrace you," I told them. "I don't suppose you have a book or something on how to do this sort of thing?"

Selenay chuckled. "I'm afraid not, but you'll be just fine. Really, you will."

I wished I had her confidence in me. At that moment, Lucia and Kyrah came bounding out of the adjoining room where they had been playing, drawing my attention away from thoughts and the situation at hand.

"Mother, may Lucia stay the night?" Kyrah asked Elspeth. "Oh, please say yes!"

"Please, Mama, say yes!" Lucia echoed to me.

Elspeth and I traded glances and I smiled. "It's your house," I said, leaving the decision with her. If little girls' sleep-overs in Valdemar were anything like the ones I had as a child, there would be lots of sugar and no one would be getting any sleep for awhile.

Elspeth returned the smile knowingly and then turned to her daughter. "Very well, but—"

Kyrah and Lucia squealed and held hands and jumped up and down, and whatever condition Elspeth had set was drowned out in their delighted screams. Selenay caught my eye, and we tried to hold back our laughter, but a few chortles escaped nonetheless. If Elspeth and Kris had wanted any private time to themselves this evening, it wasn't going to happen, I was certain.

And then a thought brought me up short: Treven and I would be dining alone now. I felt myself blush furiously at the realization, and hoped that it went unnoticed by the other women. They seemed to be attentive to the girls, and I tried surreptitiously to fan my face to cool it.

Kyrah suddenly whispered something to Lucia, and then grabbed her hand and they both all but flew out of the room, giggling.

I shook my head in wonder. "They're something, aren't they?"

"Indeed they are," Selenay said. "I'm glad they're friends."

"So am I," I replied, rising from my chair, "though I don't know how to tell Lucia that she'll be leaving Kyrah soon."

"I know," Elspeth said. "Kyrah will be heartbroken. She's so enjoyed Lucia's company in the Nursery."

Both she and Selenay rose, and I took that as a sign that our meeting was officially over.

"Would you care to dine with us tonight?" Selenay asked.

I felt my blush return, and knew there was no hiding it this time. "I'm afraid I have plans," I replied, "but thank you."

Selenay and Elspeth exchanged a significant look, and Elspeth turned her sly gaze on me. "Oh?" she asked archly. "And would these 'plans' include someone we know?"

I broke into a smile, one probably as silly as my daughter's had been. "Herald Treven," I replied. Why bother to hide it when all but his name was written all over my face? "We're both in Alberich's class."

"He's a handsome one," Selenay said. "And that reminds me, I still haven't had a chance to talk to Alberich about his dragging you off to class like that."

"How is it going with him?" Elspeth asked. "Alberich, that is, not Treven, though I'd like to know about that as well."

"Today was a disaster," I replied, and I told them what had happened. "I'm going to have to just get over it somehow," I said, "because bladed weapons are the norm in this world."

Elspeth nodded thoughtfully. "It's a good skill to have, though I don't know how essential is will be for you. You're not a Herald, or in the guard, and you won't be living in a border region. You'll have the luxury of taking the time you need to work through your memories."

Selenay bit her lower lip in contemplation. "A Mindhealer could help," she offered. "They've dealt with things far worse than this before and have been successful."

"This is true," Elspeth said.

"I've heard of them," I replied. "May I just say again that your magic amazes me?" I nodded my agreement with their assessment. "Perhaps I'll go over there tomorrow and talk to someone about setting up an appointment."

"I think that would be wise," Selenay said. "In the meantime, enjoy your evening with Treven."

"At least one of us will be having fun tonight!" Elspeth quipped with a wicked grin.

**SCENEBREAK**

Companions Field was alive with color as the later afternoon sun shone through the trees. I had thought that, given my freedom that evening, I could talk to Landon freely, without having to be concerned for what a pair of little ears might pick up.

But Landon did not come to meet me as he usually did, and I was forced to stop and ask a passing Companion if he would please ask Landon to come to where I was. The Companion nodded once, stood still for a long moment, and then nodded to me again before continuing on his way. I didn't know if that meant only that he had spoken to Landon, or that he had spoken to him, and he was coming to see me. So, I stood there for awhile, but it didn't seem like he was going to show up. I was just about to leave when I noticed a white form approaching from a distance.

He didn't speak to me, not even when he drew close.

I just sighed. "Can we talk?"

_:Oh, am I allowed to invade your thoughts now?: _he asked in the most acerbic tone I'd ever heard him take.

"Okay, you know what?" I began, trying to keep my exasperation down to an acceptable level. "Never mind. I don't care. Talking—"

_:Well **I** care!:_ he shot back, interrupting me. _ :I stayed in your mind because I care, especially after what happened today in class. But you—one minute, you're crying on my shoulder, and the next, you're telling me to go away!:_

"I never said that!" I exclaimed, giving free rein to my exasperation. "Where are you getting this from?"

_:Telling me to get out of your thoughts is the same thing as telling me to go away,:_ he replied. _:I'm a Companion, and in case you hadn't noticed, I can't communicate in any other way than by Mindspeech.:_

"Well, in case _you_ hadn't noticed," I shot back, "I'm not from your world, and even though I know all about you, it is _very_ disconcerting to have your voice pop into my mind when I don't expect it. And furthermore," I continued, "how do you think it makes me feel to know that you could be in the back of my mind, reading my thoughts, without me even knowing it?"

_:Well how do you think it makes me feel when you tell people that I'm only your friend because I feel sorry for you?: _Landon retorted.

Landon's return brought me up short, leaving me speechless for a moment. When I did answer him, it was with a much more subdued tone of voice.

"I didn't mean it like that," I said.

_:Well that's how it sounded,:_ he replied, although his tone, too, had calmed.

"I think maybe we just have a huge misunderstanding on our hands," I put forth, hoping to make things better. "I didn't know you were in my mind until you spoke, and I certainly didn't know you were there out of concern. I thought you were just eavesdropping." I reached out and brushed his forelock out of his eyes. "And I didn't think much about your limitations on communication. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'd still like to be your friend."

_:I guess I just assumed that since you know all about us, you'd be familiar with our ways,_: he replied. _:I know that I didn't mean any harm, but I didn't stop and think that there was no way for you to know that, or to consider that you might not be comfortable with it. I guess I didn't even realize that you couldn't sense me in your mind, though that's the way it is.:_ He nuzzled my hand. _:I'm sorry, too, and I still want to be your friend as well.:_

I smiled and hugged him. "I'm glad." Pulling away, I looked into his eyes. "So, how do we make sure this doesn't happen again? I don't mind if you're in my mind—if I know about it."

_:I'll remember to tell you from now on,:_ he said. _:Do you not want me to talk to you when we're apart?:_

I shook my head. "I don't mind if you talk to me when we're apart," I replied. "And I'll remember that you can't talk any other way."

_:I think we'll do fine, then,:_ he said. _:If I may ask, how did it end with Treven?:_

I smiled. "We're having dinner tonight. And Lucia is staying over with Kyrah for the night."

_:Well, well,:_ Landon snickered. _:Things could get very interesting!:_

"Landon! I've only just met him today!" I protested, though not without another blush. "Besides, that's not my style. Honestly, between you and Selenay and Elspeth—"

_:Oh?:_ he asked. _:What did they have to say?:_

I then remembered that I was to be ennobled. In the heat of our argument, I had forgotten all about it. Suddenly, I felt very sad at the thought of leaving Haven. I enjoyed Landon's company, and now that we understood each other better, I was certain our friendship could develop even more. But now—

_:What is it?: _Landon asked, nudging me with his nose. _:You look troubled.:_

"I am," I replied. "Landon, I'm sorry. I—" I hesitated for a moment, feeling more than sad. "I'm leaving."

_:Leaving?: _he asked. _:What do you mean?:_

"The queen has ennobled me and deeded me the late Lord Nestor's estates. I'll be leaving in a week or two." I threw my arms about his neck. "I'm going to miss you!"

Landon didn't say anything for a long moment._ :This is so sudden,_: he finally replied. _:I thought you would stay in Haven.:_

I pulled away to look at him. "So did I. You will come to visit me, won't you?" I brushed that stubborn forelock out of his eyes again. "I mean, you don't_ have_ to say in Haven _all_ the time, do you? At least, until you Choose, that is."

_:No,: _he replied._ :I don't have to stay. I can come visit. In fact, I think it would be nice to get away sometimes.:_

"I don't suppose your Mindspeech reaches all the way to the estate, does it?" I asked.

He shook his head. _:No. I don't know that it would even reach that far if we were bonded, to say nothing of being unbonded.:_

I sighed. "Well, we'll make do somehow. I suppose I shall just have to write you letters."

Landon laughed in my mind and whinnied aloud. _:I'm sure I can find some unsuspecting Trainee or Herald to read them and compose a reply for me.:_

"See," I said hopefully, "it won't be so bad."

_:You don't believe that anymore than I do,:_ he said, and then nudged me with his nose in the direction of the palace. _:You'd better go if you want time to clean up before dinner.:_

"You're right," I replied. The sun was setting, and I did need to be going. I kissed Landon's nose. "You know, it doesn't seem fair that you can talk to me whenever you want, but I can't do the same with you."

_:Yes, and I'd give anything to have hands again, even if just for a day,:_ he said.

I laughed. "Point taken. Have a lovely evening."

_:And you,:_ he returned. _:I want to hear all about it tomorrow!:_

Laughing, I watched him trot away before turning to make my way back to my suites.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: After three midterms, a semester paper, a major history project, and the holidays, I'm finally able to update. Thanks again for the reviews!!! I really appreciate them. I hope everyone had a joyous Thanksgiving!

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Chapter 11

I was, as the books had once put it, as nervous as a cat about to kitten. I couldn't decide between my old clothes or one of the dresses I had been given after I'd arrived here. I figured that Treven would be wearing his Whites, so it was probably best that I not be _too_ dressed up. I therefore shrugged into a clean pair of jeans and a fresh t-shirt and, having nothing else to do but wait, began to nervously pace about my suites. Going in circles soon made me dizzy, however, and I finally settled down in a comfortable chair with an old book.

A knock on the door a few moments later made me jump and, with a deep breath, I laid aside my book and rose to answer it. Treven was there, holding an enormous tray of various dishes, and wearing something of a sheepish grin on his face.

"Something came up," he began, "and I wasn't able to cook for us, but I did beg a meal from Mero." He bit his lower lip. "My suites are a disaster, so I thought I'd bring it here. Do you mind?"

"No, of course not," I replied, stepping aside to let him in. "I hope all is well."

"It is," he answered, carefully setting the tray down on the table. "Two of my yearmates just returned early from visiting their families. Their own suites are having some repairs done to them and can't be used, so they're staying with me until their rooms are ready." He turned to face me. "So, are you hungry?"

I nodded. "Very."

Treven just smiled and pulled out a chair for me.

_**scenebreak**_

"I received my new circuit orders," Treven said, scooping up the last spoonful of his cream pudding.

"Oh?" I asked. "When do you leave?"

"In about a week," he replied.

"I'm leaving about that time as well," I told him.

"_You're_ leaving?" he asked, setting his pudding bowl on the tray. "Where are you going?"

"Somewhere north of here," I replied, reaching for my teacup. I gingerly took a sip of the hot drink before setting the cup back down on the table. "The queen, if you believe this, has ennobled me and deeded me Lord Nestor's estates. Lucia and I are leaving in a week to take up permanent residence there." I shook my head disbelievingly. "I don't know the _first_ thing about being a noble or managing an estate!"

"Old Nestor died, did he?" Treven replied. "He managed his estates terribly. I'm sure the people will be happy to have you as their new Lady." He looked at me and smiled. "Well, well. Lady Jaelle. It sounds nice."

"It sounds terrifying!" I countered.

Treven chuckled. "I'm sure you'll do fine. Selenay would never have given you the estates if she thought otherwise." He reached for his own teacup. "It's a good arrangement for everyone—except, possibly, Lord Ehnley."

I felt a chill run down my spine at the sound of his name, and sipped some more tea to chase it away. "Why do you say that?"

"Ehnley's had his eye on Nestor's estates for a long time," Treven replied. "His own personal holdings border Nestor's—now yours—and he's wanted to expand his lands for some time now."

"Fantastic," I muttered over my teacup. Of all the people in the kingdom to have as a neighbor—and now a disgruntled one at that!—it would be Lord Ehnley. _I wonder if it's too late to back out of this_, I thought.

"You don't like him?" Treven asked.

I shook my head. "I met him my first night here, and I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him."

"Really?" he asked, and then got that faraway look in his eyes that Heralds got when speaking to their Companions. A moment later he focused on me again. "My Companion agrees with you." He shrugged and took a sip of his tea. "I've never met the man myself, but I implicitly trust Althea's judgment." He frowned in thought and set his teacup on the table. "You know, we're traveling on the same route. I go right by Nestor's estates. I'll see if I can reschedule my departure to coincide with yours. Althea and I can accompany you up there and I can take a look around and make sure all is well."

"I would appreciate that," I replied. "Thank you."

"It would be my pleasure," he said.

I found myself blushing, and I quickly rose and set about clearing off the table.

Treven stood to help me. "You know, it's a nice area of Valdemar that you're going to. My family is from Three Rivers, not too terribly far from your estates."

"Isn't that where Mero is from?" I asked. At least, I _thought_ that's what the books had said.

"Mmm-hmm," Treven replied. "Which is probably why he indulges me so much! Our families have been friends for years. You'll have a lot in common with the people there, I think."

"Oh?" I queried, stacking the plates on the tray.

He nodded. "It's rumored that you believe there is only one god."

"Many, if not most, people on my world believe that," I replied. "Most of the major religions are monotheistic."

Treven laughed softly as he gathered the silverware. "It's just the opposite here. The Three Rivers area is the only place in Valdemar that believes what you believe. Hopefully, it will help make things a little less strange to you."

I felt a sudden wave of homesickness, but I smiled politely and filled the kettle with more water and set it over the fire to boil.

A couple of hours and several cups of tea later, we were both ready for some sleep, though, I expected, much to Landon's dismay, not with each other.

"I had a very nice evening, Treven," I said, walking him to the door. I had convinced him to just leave the dishes in my suites, as there was probably no one in the kitchen at this time of night, and he was too tired to wash them himself.

He opened the door, stepped out into the hallway and turned back to face me. "I did, too. Thank you for suggesting it."

He was standing close enough to set my heart on a quick beat, and I had forgotten that this whole evening was my idea. I felt myself blushing. _Honestly!_ I chided myself. _You'd think you were on your first date!_ Although, I had to admit, it _had_ been awhile since I'd—

The soft brush of his lips against mine brought me out of my reverie, and I reached up to entwine my fingers in his hair. He stepped back, smiling, and captured my hand in his, kissing my fingers.

"Goodnight," he said.

"Goodnight." I watched him walk down the corridor for a few moments before closing the door. I leaned against the closed door with a contented sigh, and heard a soft snickering in the back of my mind.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" I asked, and rolling my eyes, I pushed away from the door and sought the comfort of my own bed.

_**scenebreak**_

The next day was pure insanity. The servants came for me early in the morning. They took away the dishes, brought in a seamstress, and proceeded to measure every inch of me. Then they brought out bolts of cloth, asking for my opinion on each one. Did I like the color? Did I want a train? Should it be detachable? How many layers did I want? Did I want the chemise to match the gown? 

They finally left, and I barely had time to eat a bit of dinner before another set of servants came in to dress me for the ennobling ceremony. They brushed and parted and twisted and pinned my hair until I thought I was going to scream.

The ceremony itself was rather anti-climactic after all that fuss. I went forward as Jaelle, knelt, and thirty seconds later, rose as Lady Jaelle. I was then ushered out of the Throne Room as Selenay carried on with other matters of state.

The rest of the week flew by in a whirl. Lucia was heartbroken to learn that she was going to have to leave Kyrah, and subsequently, the girls spent almost every waking moment in each other's company. For myself, I had very little time to devote to unraveling the mystery of Vanyel that I was so intent on solving. Reluctantly, I sent the books back to the library. The resources of the Palace provided the best chance I had at finding out what was going on—well, those, and Landon, but I barely had time to visit him that week, and I would soon be going away. It seemed now, more than ever, that the mystery would remain unsolved.

I finished up my classes with Alberich. I hadn't even wanted to return, but Treven assured me that Alberich understood. It was with great trepidation that I returned to the salle, but Alberich did not mention my emotional collapse. He just continued training me in hand-to-hand self-defense as though nothing had happened. I somehow managed to visit the Mindhealers during that time as well, and by the end of the week, I was surprised to find that I could hold a dagger without being afraid. Unfortunately, I was leaving the following day, and there was no time to train me in weaponswork. Still, I wanted to thank Alberich for what training he did give me, little though it was. I remained behind after my last class to speak with him.

He was putting away his armour, his back to me, and I sat down to wait until he was finished.

"Leaving tomorrow you are?" he asked, not turning around.

I should have known that he needn't have turned around to know I was there. "Yes," I replied. "We leave in the morning." I rose from the bench as he turned to face me. "I wanted to thank you for your training. I'm sure you had better things you could have been doing."

He shook his head and came over to me, gesturing to the bench. We both sat down. "One more student in a class is no difference."

I pulled a pouch of coins from my pocket. As Lady, I had an income, and Selenay had given me an advance on it. Even as Alberich shook his head, I set the pouch in his lap. "I will not accept refusal, Master Alberich," I said. "I know perfectly well that it is custom to pay a weaponsmaster for training, and I am not a Trainee."

"Your money, I want not," he said.

"Well, you shall take it anyway," I insisted. "I am sure there are plenty of things you can buy—perhaps apples for Kantor."

Alberich almost smiled at that. "Agrees with you, he does." His almost-smile faded, however, and he gazed at me with a troubled expression, setting me ill-at-ease.

"Selenay tells me that you can see into the future," I said.

"Yes," he replied.

"Have you seen something concerning me?" I asked. "Is that why you wanted to train me?"

Alberich sighed. "It is usually immediate, what my Gift sees," he replied. "With you, I have _seen_ nothing—yet—but uneasy I feel when I see you." He laid his hand on mine. "Careful, you must be."

"I will," I replied, repressing a shiver of dread.

"And training, you must continue," he stated, though it was more of a command than a simple declaration.

"I will," I promised.

"Send you a weaponsmaster, I will," Alberich said. "Train everyone, he should. Marin, his name is, from Three Rivers. Retired is he, but very good, and looking for work."

"Thank you," I replied. "Though I will miss you." This was not the first after-class talk I'd had with him, and I knew I would miss them.

Alberich made a non-committal sound in his throat and then rose. "Class I have now," he said, his voice gruff.

Hiding a smile, I rose, kissed his cheek and dashed out of the salle before he could respond.

_**scenebreak**_

The day of our departure dawned. The trunks had been packed, and Selenay, as one final gift, had given me one of the Palace horses, a gelding. I had yet to pick a name for him, and I had little experience in riding, but she had assured me that he was the gentlest of creatures. I was very touched.

Lucia had spent the night with Kyrah, and Elspeth assured me that she would bring Lucia to the courtyard where the carriage was waiting. Talia and Selenay had had a long night with the Council, and were both still sleeping, so I left them each a note of goodbye.

I rose early so that I could spend some time with Landon, having seen little of him that week. I made my way towards the Field and was surprised to find him waiting for me, groomed and saddled.

I kissed his nose. "What's going on? Are you going out to Choose?"

He shook his head. _:I've decided that, since you've been so busy this week, I would go with you on your journey.:_

"You're coming with me?" I cried, throwing my arms around his neck. "Oh, Landon, what a perfect surprise!" I let go of him and stepped back. "But why are you saddled?"

_:I thought you might like to ride,:_ he replied. _:Since Treven and Althea are coming along, I thought it might be nice if we all rode on ahead of the baggage carts.:_

"But what about Lucia?" I pointed out. "I can't leave her behind."

_:She's such a small thing, she can ride as well,:_ Landon stated. _:It won't take us long to get there, and Althea and I can carry what few supplies and changes of clothes you might need. We'll be staying in inns on the way up as well, so we needn't worry about food or bedding.:_

"You've thought of everything, haven't you?" I asked.

_:I am a Companion,:_ he replied.

I only rolled my eyes at that remark and walked with him to the courtyard. Treven and Althea were waiting for us there, and Elspeth was bringing Lucia down the Palace steps as we arrived. I won't waste the time relating the shock of Landon's offer to carry one who was not his Chosen. Suffice it to say that about an hour later, we were re-packed and ready to go. The carriage was sent back to the carriage house, and the baggage carts were sent on ahead, though I strong suspected we would pass by them before we even left Haven.

Elspeth and I said our almost-tearless goodbyes, but Lucia and Kyrah were unconsolable. Treven handed her up to me after I had mounted Landon, and she just clung to me and sobbed. I thought my heart would break right along with hers.

"You can write to each other," I said, trying to comfort her.

"I don't know _how_ to write!" Lucia wailed.

"Neither do I," Kyrah echoed, clinging to her mother.

"Well," Elspeth said, "the sooner you learn, the sooner you can write to each other."

Both girls stopped crying long enough to consider this. They looked at each other for a long moment, and then Kyrah turned to Elspeth and said, in a very grown-up tone of voice,

"I would like to start lessons today, Mother."

"Me, too!" Lucia exclaimed.

Elspeth and I tried to hide our smiles as we assured our daughters that they would be taught as soon as possible. For Lucia, it would not be until we arrived at the estates, but I promised her that until she learned, I would be happy to write for her.

That crisis over, there was nothing left but to leave. Treven mounted Althea, and looked over at me. "All set?"

I nodded. "I guess so." I quelled a bit of anxiety that threatened to rise up in me. While I didn't consider Haven my home, I was certainly much more comfortable there than anywhere else. But I was always like that when going to new places. The feeling would soon pass as I became accustomed to my new surroundings.

Treven and Althea took the lead.

We were off.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Finally, an update!! Thank you, NightStalker for the reminder! :-) It's a new semester, and with 28 (yes, 28) books to read, I don't know how much I'll be updating, but hopefully some.

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Chapter 12

I immediately ascertained that I had my work cut out for me.

"This looks like a third world country," I murmured.

"A what?" Treven asked.

I shook my head and batted down the question with an absent wave of my hand. "Nothing." I could only stare in amazement and disgust as we trotted through the estates. The houses of the families looked dilapidated, and from what I could see of their inhabitants, their clothing didn't fare much better. "Are you _kidding_ me?"

"Selenay warned you it would be bad, didn't she?" Treven asked.

"Yes," I replied, "but I didn't envision _this_."

_:They're good people,:_ Landon interjected, _:though rather embittered over Nestor's lack of care.:_

"Who wouldn't be?" Treven returned.

Landon had taken to beSpeaking Treven as well as me. After all, he had told me, if he was going to talk to one person who was not his Chosen, why not the rest in the party? Why not indeed? After his initial shock over hearing Landon's voice in his head, Treven had gotten quite used to the setup.

I sighed audibly as the estate house came into view. We had sent a rider ahead of us from the inn the night before to let the household know that we would be arriving early. The servants were all standing outside, waiting for us. While they were dressed marginally better than the families I had seen, it was apparent that they were in need of some new clothes—and some good food. What kind of a man _was_ this Lord Nestor anyway?

_:A stingy, selfish one,_: Landon replied. _:You have the opportunity to do a great deal of good here.:_

I sighed again. It wasn't that I was ungrateful—far from it! It was just that I hadn't expected so much _work_ upon my arrival. My mind was already moving in a dozen directions, planning improvements and such.

_:I wonder what the stables look like,:_ Althea said. She, too, was rather shocked at Landon's free use of mindspeech, but eventually came to include me in some of her general conversation.

"Probably like everything else," I said, _sotto voce,_ as we trotted into the courtyard—and the hearing range of the servants.

I could see that the servants were trying not to stare, but they weren't succeeding too well. I was, much to my own dismay, dressed in one of my new gowns, as was Lucia. Treven had insisted it was necessary to appear as a Lady, and I had bowed to his wisdom, though I hated every minute of it. I wasn't a Lady! I was Jaelle: t-shirt, jeans, and a bag of Doritos.

Once the fourfoots came to a stop, the servants bowed or curtseyed to me in turn. I instinctively opened my mouth to admonish them, but caught Treven's warning glance just in time. I swallowed my reproof with a sigh. It was going to take some getting used to, being a Lady.

Treven dismounted and I handed Lucia down to him. She was chattering away, but I wasn't paying much attention to what she was saying. In keeping with the whole "Lady" thing (which, of course, wasn't a _thing_ at all, but a fact), Treven gave me his hand and helped me down from the saddle. It would have been easier to dismount on my own, but he made the whole process look far more graceful than it would have been had I been on my own, and I was grateful for that.

There were seven female and five male servants, all of varying ages. They just stood there after I dismounted, staring at the ground as though waiting to be punished.

"Good afternoon," I said to them, but they didn't move, save for a quick, brave glance or two in my direction. Hmmm. Perhaps I should try something else. "I'm very pleased to meet you all."

The servants traded surreptitious glances, and one of the women curtseyed, seemingly on behalf of the others. "Please your Ladyship."

What did _that_ mean? I looked to Treven for help, but he just shrugged, a faintly smug smile on his face. He was plainly enjoying my dilemma. Fine, then. If he wasn't going to be of help, I was going to do things my way.

I heard Landon snicker in the back of my mind as he realized what I was about to do. I had the feeling I was about to throw all proper "Lady" propriety to the four winds.

"I want your attention, please," I said to them. I waited until they were all looking at me. "I was given to understand that Lord Nestor was a dreadful master, and I see that I was correctly informed."

I heard Treven give a significant cough beside me, but I pointedly ignored him. "I want you to know that I have _no_ intention of following in his footsteps." I could see eyes widen at my announcement. "Nestor turned this estate into the disgrace of Valdemar," I continued.

Treven started choking, and I sensed that it was real, and not just a polite way of telling me to shut up.

"But I intend to turn these estates back into a place of honor and dignity." And as my first real "Lady"-ism, I looked them each in the eye for a long moment, and said, in my most authoritative voice. "I expect you all to fully cooperate."

There was a long moment of what I could only guess to be shock, and then I was treated to a chorus of "yes, your Ladyship."

"Thank you," I replied. "Who is in charge of the stables?"

One of the men stepped forward, bowing. "Jahn, your Ladyship."

"Jahn, please take Herald Treven and the Companions to the stables."

"Yes, your Ladyship," Jahn replied.

Treven handed him the reins to both Landon and Althea. "I'll follow you momentarily," he said to Jahn, and then turned to me as Jahn was leading them away and cleared his throat, lowering his tone. "That was rather . . . unorthodox."

I shot him a mock-withering glance and lowered my tone to match his. "You_ had_ your chance to help. Besides, these are _my_ estates, and I'll do as I please." I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at him. "So there. Now, if you'll excuse me." I turned back to the servants. "I'd like you all to meet my daughter, Lucia."

Lucia smiled and beamed at them so that even the shyest, most reserved of them smiled back. They all bowed or curtseyed to her as well, which made her giggle and hide her face in my skirts.

"Well, shall we go into the house?" I asked.

The servants parted to allow me to precede them, and with a sudden twinge of excited curiosity, I made my way towards the great oak door.

* * *

scenebreak

* * *

Hours later, I fell exhausted into the nearest chair I could find. My watch read 11 pm, but it felt like the wee hours of the morning already. As it was, I was one of the last people still up. Treven and Lucia, both imparting kisses to me, had already gone to bed, as had most of the servants. 

It had been a _long_ day. After getting a tour of the house—which, though shabby, was immaculately clean—I decided to pay visits to the families under my care. Landon accommodated me and Tristan and Lucia, not wanting to be left alone with the servants, tagged along as well.

It was worse than I had thought.

All of the families were living in dreadfully poor conditions. Their houses needed significant repairs, which, as I learned, Nestor had been promising to make, but never did. More than one child sounded as though he or she was about to cough their little lungs out, and each face bore the stamp of hunger and bone-deep weariness. I frequently found myself caught between pity and outrage.

The goats, upon which the income of the estates depended, seemed to be in just as sad shape as their caretakers.

I had brought pen and paper with me and had jotted down various notes as we moved among the families, and upon returning to the house, I dashed off a letter to the nearest House of Healing, requesting immediate assistance. Just as I was about to send one of the servants away with it, Treven, in his nosiness, asked what it was, and then had Althea send a call to the Companion of a Herald who happened to be recovering from an injury at the House of Healing. She received word back a few moments later that a Healer would set out for the estates in the morning.

That being done, I started a list of supplies that the estate needed, from bolts of cloth for new clothes for the servants and families, to repair supplies for the houses (and the stables, per Landon and Althea's direct order), and several things in-between. I definitely had my work cut out for me.

Now, however, all I wanted to was to find my bed. I hoped I could remember where it was! There were almost two dozen rooms in the house, and it was easy to get lost. I rose from the chair and headed for the stairs, anticipating nothing more exciting than my dreams.

That was when I heard the raised voices coming from the kitchen. Swallowing a grumble, I made my way into the kitchen to find two of the younger servants, Kae and Elsa, engaged in a tug-of-war with a crusty piece of bread. They didn't hear me come in, giving me ample opportunity to observe them.

"It's mine!" Kae declared, and with one, firm tug, ripped it out of Elsa's hands.

"You had it last night," Elsa said. Was it just the poor lighting, or was she crying?

"Well, you had the bed," Kae returned, cramming the bread into her mouth. I waited until she was finished eating before speaking. I was sure my presence was going to frighten them, and I had long since forgotten how to properly do the Heimleich maneuver.

"What is all the fuss about?" I asked.

As I figured, they both jumped about two feet. They stared at me, first astonished, then clearly afraid. So afraid, they couldn't answer.

"I saw everything," I told them. "Were you fighting over a piece of bread?"

They looked at each other and then back at their feet. "No, your Ladyship," they mumbled in unison.

Except that I saw them. I tried another course. "Are you girls hungry?" Come to think of it, it didn't seem like the servants had much time to eat that night.

"Oh, no, your Ladyship!" they both replied.

I sighed. I was getting nowhere with the food issue. I thought about asking about their sleeping arrangements, but knew I would only get the "no, your Ladyship" response again. I decided to be more proactive.

"I want you to take me to the room where you sleep," I ordered.

They both immediately looked up at me with a glance of horror. "Oh, no, your Ladyship!"

Now I was annoyed, and even more determined to find out why they were being so stubborn about this. "I gave you girls an order," I said, "and I don't want to hear another 'no, your Ladyship' again. Now let's go."

I led the way out of the kitchen, and the girls silently followed me, and then preceded me up the stairs. We walked down the long hall, and they stopped at a door. Glancing at me as if in hope that I would change my mind, they paused.

I intended to disappoint them. "Go on," I said.

They opened the door to reveal, not a room, but a staircase going up. What was this? I was given a full tour—or so I thought—and had no idea there was a third floor. Grabbing a candle from the wall, I motioned for the girls to go ahead of me.

As we reached the top of the staircase, I could hear voices, and as I emerged on the top floor, I could understand why I hadn't been made aware of it.

It was awful. It was more of a small attic than a floor. Everything, from the smell of mold and mildew, to the sight of the beds (and I use that word in the most liberal sense), what few there were, bespoke filth. I felt slightly nauseous. All of the other female servants were there. They were still awake and chatting away, and they noticed me at that point. They all tried to scramble to their feet, but the low ceiling made it difficult. One of the older female servants, Ila, the head of the household, cuffed both girls soundly.

"How dare you bring her Ladyship up here?" she demanded.

"It's all right, Ila," I said. "I ordered them to do so." I looked around at their quarters. "Is this truly where you sleep? All of you?"

The entire room fell silent, waiting for someone to be bold enough to answer me. Ila had no qualms, and there was a bitter edge to her voice. "Yes, your Ladyship."

"How often do you eat?" I asked.

Ila's bitter tone deepened. "Once a day, per orders of the house."

I didn't dare ask what it was they ate, "per orders of the house." I was certain I could probably guess. Little, and nothing of substance.

I was silent for a long moment, curbing my tongue so as not to curse their prior master in their presence. It wasn't good form, Treven had said, though I didn't really care at that moment. "I want all of the servants to gather downstairs."

"Now, your Ladyship?" Ila asked.

"Yes, Ila, now," I replied. "And someone please find the men and bring them as well. We will meet in the dining hall immediately."

I turned and made my way down the stairs, thankful to be out of that room. I could hear subdued, but excited, chatter behind me, in spite of Ila's attempts to hush the others.

It was about ten minutes before all of the servants were present, and I waited until they had come to order and were silent before speaking.

"It has just been brought to my attention the horrible living conditions you have had to endure," I said. "I'm sorry I did not know of them sooner. At least you would have had a decent meal this evening." I intended to rectify that however. "As it is, the new rules of the house are this: you will have three meals each day, and you will have meat of some sort for at least one of those meals."

A delighted murmur ran through the crowd gathered before me.

"Furthermore, you will no longer sleep in that hell-hole, at least, not as it is," I continued. "Until it can be thoroughly renovated, you will sleep in the empty bed chambers on this floor. You will have to share beds, but there is nothing to be done about that."

I looked at the house cook, one of the female servants. "I know it's late, Sara, but do you think you might be willing to cook up a meal for all of you? You shouldn't go to bed hungry."

"I think I can managed that, my Lady," Sara replied, a twinkle in her eye.

It was the first time I had been called something other than "your Ladyship" and I smiled at them all. "Thank you for your patience in this. I also intend to outfit all of you in new clothes and shoes. I'll be sending away to Three Rivers for supplies tomorrow." I looked them over. "Are any of you seamstresses? We'll need plenty of those, as well as carpenters, and I'd just as soon not have to hire out help if possible."

Several of the ladies and one of the men claimed tailoring abilities, and all of the men and a couple of the women claimed knowledge of carpentry.

"Wonderful!" I said. "Then I shall bid you all a good-night and we'll talk more tomorrow about the specifics of supplies and such. Kae and Elsa, would you please see to preparing the bed chambers?"

"Yes, my Lady," they said, barely able to contain their smiles.

I followed them out of the dining hall to a chorus of "good-night, my Lady," and headed for the stairs, smiling at the girls chatter. I was halfway up to my room when one comment echoed back to me and made my blood run cold.

"No one's slept in those rooms since Lord Orthallen was here!" Kae exclaimed.

I froze in my tracks. Orthallen had been here? Orthallen, who hadn't been seen in Valdemar since Elspeth was a child, was _here_? In my house?

This did _not_ bode well for me.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Thanks, guys, for all the reviews! I've been dealing with midterms and haven't had much time to work on this. I appreciate the reminder to update, however (DarkAutumnLeaves) :-) Time just passes, and I don't realize how long it's been!

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Chapter 13

I slept very little that night, in spite of the fact that there was nothing I could actually _do_ about the fact that Orthallen had been in my house. But the questions just would not leave me alone. How did he get here? Was Nestor involved in the plot against Elspeth? How long ago had it been since he'd been here? Where was he now?

As soon as the first rays of the sun crept in my window, I rose, careful not to awaken Lucia, who hadn't wanted to sleep by herself, and made my way over to the desk. I took a sheet of paper and my own pen and began to compose a letter to Selenay, telling her what little I knew. As I finished, I could hear the servants stirring, getting ready for a new day.

It was going to be a long day, I knew, and the sooner I prepared for it, the better it would be. I did _not_ want to dress up, but I knew that Treven was right. I had to establish my authority before I relaxed it, even in the form of my dress.

Shrugging into the simplest of the gowns I owned, I made my way downstairs just as Ila was passing by.

"Good morning, Ila," I said.

"Good morning, m'Lady," she replied.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked.

Ila nearly sighed with satisfaction. "Aye, m'Lady. And you?"

I decided it would not do to let her know about my sleepless musings, so I only smiled back. "The bed was very comfortable," I replied. And it was.

"And the little m'lady?" Ila asked.

"She still sleeping," I said. "I expect we'll hear from her soon, however."

"Aye, m'Lady. If you'll excuse me, I'll be seeing to breakfast."

"Of course, Ila. Thank you." I stepped off the bottom stair and made my way to the dining room. I was surprised to find that Treven was already there, working on a cup of tea. He glanced up at me as I entered the room.

"Morning." He looked at me more carefully. "By the One! Jaelle, did you sleep?"

I shook my head, suddenly aware of the omnipresence of servant ears, even when they couldn't been seen. "Shall we go check on the Companions before breakfast?"

Treven was clever enough to understand my meaning, and he immediately rose. "Good idea," he said.

He followed me out of the dining room and we headed for the door. I saw Elsa and told her where we were going and that we might take the Companions for a brief ride before breakfast, and asked her to tell Ila. She agreed, and we left the house.

We walked together in silence until we reached the stables. Treven seemed content to wait for me to speak, but I didn't feel comfortable until we were out of earshot of the stables.

"No, to answer your question," I began, "I didn't sleep."

"What happened?" Treven asked.

I told him of the incident with the servants the night before. "As I was going up to bed, I heard Kae say to Elsa that they hadn't had anyone sleep in those rooms since _Orthallen_ was there."

Landon stopped short in his trot, as did Althea.

_:Orthallen:_ they both cried in unison.

"Are you certain, Jaelle?" Treven asked.

"Yes, I am certain," I replied. "I know what I heard." I reached down and brushed a twig from Landon's mane. "I've heard of this man. He's been wanted by the Crown since Elspeth was a child. I've written a letter to Selenay, telling her what I know."

"He's the most wanted man in Valdemaran history," Treven said. He mused in silence for a while. "What was he doing here? Was Nestor involved in the plot all those years ago?"

"Be careful," I warned. "Those kind of questions will keep you up at night."

Treven shook himself from his musings and turned to me. "_You_ be careful, Jaelle. You don't know if the servants are involved in this. You could get into serious trouble if you go asking the wrong questions to the wrong person."

"Don't worry about me," I said.

He moved Althea around Landon to face me, so close that our left knees were touching. "Well, I do worry about you. I have to leave you today, and I don't know when I'll see you again."

My breath caught in my throat at his words. Neither of us had really expressed how we felt, and being so busy, I hadn't really thought about it—

_:Perhaps you should:_ Landon suggested.

I had no time to contemplate his words. Treven leaned in and kissed me, taking away what little breath I had left.

"Don't do anything stupid," he said, pulling away. "If Alberich is concerned, it's probably for a good reason."

"You're one to talk, circuit-rider," I replied with a smirk.

"I'm serious, Jaelle."

I reached out to touch his cheek. "So am I. Besides, Alberich is sending someone here to continue training me—all of us, really."

He kissed me again. "Just be careful."

"I will," I replied. "I don't suppose you could Truth Spell all the servants before you leave?"

"No," Treven said, "not without raising suspicions."

_:I might be able to help:_ Landon said. _:Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't think of invading someone's mind, but if the servants have knowledge of Orthallen, we need to know without risking exposure to ourselves.:_

"Landon may be right," Treven said. "I'm glad you'll be together—for a while, at least. You may want to hold off on sending that letter to Selenay until you find out a little more."

I nodded. "Probably wise." I looked at my watch. "We should be getting back. Breakfast should be ready, and Lucia will probably be up."

The Companions trotted back and we left them in the able care of Jahn and returned to the house. Lucia was just beginning to stir, Ila told me, so I went upstairs and helped her dress and by the time we came back downstairs, breakfast was ready.

We ate in somewhat of a hurry. There was too much to do to dawdle. Treven was leaving later that morning, and he was going to Three Rivers. I wanted to give him the list of supplies that the estate was going to need. I had everything written down for the families, but I still needed to ascertain what the servants and the house needed.

After breakfast, Treven went upstairs with the men to see what exactly they would need to remodel the servants' quarters and the stables. I stayed downstairs with the women to determine how many bolts of cloth we would need for clothes, leather for shoes and boots, and what we needed for food supplies. Lucia was amusing herself by exploring the house.

It was nearing lunchtime and we were almost finished. I wouldn't have even noticed the time except that there was a knock at the door. Elsa went to answer it and returned to the Great Room a moment later with a man in tow.

If I didn't know better, I would have sworn that Alberich's twin was standing in front of me. I rose to greet the strange man.

"I am Lady Jaelle," I said. "May I help you?"

"My name is Marin," he said, bowing, though it was clear that he wasn't used to doing so on a regular basis. Of course, neither was I. "Alberich sent me."

I smiled. He certainly didn't waste any time in sending him. "I've been expecting you. Thank you for coming so soon." I turned to the women there, who were all staring at the newcomer. "Marin is here to train us in weaponswork."

There was stunned silence.

"All of us, m'Lady?" Ila finally asked.

"Yes, Ila," I replied. "All of us."

The women just blinked at each other and then at me.

I tried unsuccessfully to hide my smile at the stunned expressions on their faces, and motioned for Marin to precede me out of the room. "I'll show you to your quarters."

He did not reply, but once we were out of the room and far enough away from the servants, he turned to me as we walked towards the staircase. "You should not allow your servants to permit strangers to enter your house, Lady Jaelle. Nor should you have accepted my story without asking for a letter of reference. How do you know that I am who I say I am?"

I was stung by his reprimand, but then annoyed. Was I to be suspicious of everyone? Could I trust no one? In the books, I knew that Kero had taught Elspeth to think that way, but I wasn't the heir.

_:He's right, though:_ Landon said, nearly startling me. Not being able to sense his presence in my mind, I couldn't tell when he was "listening in" or not. _:Sorry. I forgot to tell you I was here:_ he continued. _:But he is right. You may not be the heir, but Alberich seems to think you need protecting. Marin is only doing what he should be doing.:_

A heavy sigh escaped from my lips. I hated it when he was right.

I turned to Marin. "Forgive me. One of the Companions was talking to me." We approached the staircase. "I will concede your point, but must I be suspicious of everyone?"

"Until the danger that Alberich seems to sense passes, it would be wise to do so," he replied, and then looked at me. "And still, you have done nothing to verify my identity."

I opened my mouth to reply, but then saw Treven approach the top of the staircase. _Very well, then,_ I thought, folding my arms across my chest. _If he wants me to do something..._ "Herald Treven," I called. "Please come down here."

Treven raised an eyebrow at my use of his formal title, but he only started down the stairs.

I waited until he was near the bottom before I continued. "I want you to put a second-stage Truth Spell on this man." I shot Marin a glance, but he didn't even flinch at my announcement.

Treven's eyes widened. "Jaelle, I–"

"Just do it," I said.

His eyes unfocused for a moment and I guessed he was talking to Althea. Then, with a slight shrug, he murmured something indistinct and a moment later, a blue glow appeared around Marin's head.

"What is your name?" I asked.

"Marin," he replied.

"Why are you here?"

"Alberich sent me to train the household in weaponswork."

"Are you here to cause harm to anyone?" I asked.

"No," he replied.

I nodded to Treven and he banished the spell. "What was that all about?" he asked.

Marin looked at me. "Well done, my Lady, but you won't always have a Herald around to help you."

"What's going on?" Treven demanded, and by his irritated tone, I knew I had best answer him.

"Marin was chiding me on allowing him into the house without verifying who he was," I reported.

"Ahh," Treven replied, nodding thoughtfully. "Good," he pronounced, and rather forcefully, too.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "If you'll follow me, sir," I said to Marin, pointedly ignoring Treven, "I'll show you to your rooms." I slipped by Treven on the stairs, and led the way to the second floor. "Where are your things?" I asked.

"Outside," Marin answered.

"I'll have one of the men help you bring them up to your rooms," I said as we reached the top of the stairs.

"Do you have a salle?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Lord Nestor had little use for arms training, I'm afraid." We made our way down the hall. "I am sending an order to Three Rivers for supplies today, however. If you can tell me what you will need, I can add that to our list."

"I will need to see the grounds first," Marin said, "before I can determine what I will need, so you may not wish to wait for me."

"As you wish," I said, stopping in front of a door. "These will be your rooms." I had decided to put him in the suites next to mine. One couldn't be too careful. I opened the door and preceded him into the outer room. Everything was freshly laundered and had a clean, crisp smell to it. "Are they acceptable?" I asked, turning to him.

"Quite," he said, giving it a close, careful scrutiny. If he were like any of the weaponsmaster characters in the books, I suspected he was assessing its tactical strengths and weaknesses.

_Well_, I thought, _that's what he's being paid for, I suppose. Which reminds me..._

"I can show you the privy and bathing rooms," I said, "and then we can discuss the payment for your services." I had asked Treven about appropriate payment on our way up here, not knowing a thing about it myself.

Marin nodded, and once those things were taken care of, I returned downstairs to find Treven waiting for me.

"I must go," he said.

I felt my heart sink.

"I have the lists of supplies from both the women and the men, and the list you drew up yesterday for the families. I'll drop them off at the proper places once I get to Three Rivers."

"Thank you," I said, and felt the lump in my throat close out any other words.

"Walk me to the stables?" he asked.

I nodded, and we left the house. He took my hand in his as we silently made our way around the house. Althea was saddled and waiting for him when we got to the stables. Jahn finished adjusting the bridle.

"Thank you, Jahn," Treven said.

Jahn just gave a curt nod and left us alone.

"How long will you be gone?" I asked Treven as he proceeded to double check Jahn's work.

"A few months," he answered, tugging on the saddle. He seemed to be pleased with Jahn's skills and turned to me. "But it's nearly autumn, and winter comes early. If I'm caught in some storms, it may be longer."

I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Please be careful," I whispered. He was going to be spending a few weeks in Sorrows, but not the Sorrows I knew. There was no Vanyel here to send him food if he should be trapped. No one to keep the trees from destroying his Waystation should there be a storm.

"I will," he murmured into my hair.

I held back tears, and was amazed with myself that I needed to. Were my feelings really so strong? I would never have thought that it would have been so hard to say goodbye.

"Will you write?" I asked, pulling away and dabbing at my moist eyes.

"Of course," he replied. "I also wrote down where we would be and approximately when, so you can write to me ahead of time and send the letters to the towns and I'll get them when I get there."

"I'll do that," I said.

He smiled, and then leaned in and kissed me for a long moment.

"I think I—" he began and then stopped, as if unsure of his words.

"What? You think what?" I prompted. Something deep inside me told me that he was going to tell me he loved me, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to hear that or not.

The moment passed, however. "I think I should go now," he said. He swung up into the saddle, and Althea seemed to give a little jarring kick before settling down.

Part of me was frustrated. But part of me was relieved as well. I didn't even know what _I_ felt, to say nothing of being prepared to deal with his feelings.

"Be careful," I said.

"Tell Lucia goodbye for me."

I nodded. He held my eyes for a long moment, and then Althea trotted away. I felt a presence behind me and turned to find Landon standing there.

"I didn't think it was going to be so hard," I said.

_:You'll soon be so busy, the time will fly and he'll be back before you know it.:_

"For what?" I asked, watching their figures grow smaller in the distance, the tears filling my eyes. "Another day or two? And then back to Haven, or off on another circuit?" I turned back to Landon. "I can't afford to fall in love with him, Landon! I can't! I can't live like that!"

He stepped closer and rubbed my cheek with his nose. _:Nor can you afford to suppress your heart:_ he said. _ :It's not easy for Treven either, you know. He didn't want to leave.:_

I just sighed and brushed the tears away. I felt a headache coming on, one I doubted would go away soon. "I just need a good night's sleep," I said.

_:Why don't you go rest:_ Landon suggested, nudging me with his nose in the direction of the house. _:There's not much more you can do now anyway, not until the supplies arrive.:_

He was right, I supposed. Lunch and a nap might do me some good. I nodded and kissed his nose. "Call me if you need anything," I said. "And feel free to hang around in my mind. Maybe you can make sense of all the insanity up there."

He whickered a laugh, which made me smile in return, and we parted company. Marin was strolling around and surveying the grounds, and Ila was getting lunch ready when I returned to the house. Lucia was still off playing somewhere in the house, so I set about to find her.

As I walked down the hall, however, I saw a door I had never noticed before. Curious, I went over to it just as Tera, one of the older female servants, was passing by. I stopped her.

"Tera, what room is this?" I asked, reaching for the knob.

"Oh, that was the master's study," she said in hushed tones. "No one was ever allowed in there."

That brought me up short. "Has no one been in here, then?" I asked. "Even after he died?"

Tera's eyes grew wide. "Oh, no, my Lady! Lord Nestor threatened to beat us if we so much as touched the knob!" Her voice dropped and she drew closer. "We've all been scared to go near it, even after he died. He spent most of his days in that room, and we don't know but his ghost haunts it."

"His ghost?" I said. "Nonsense." I reached out and grabbed the knob and turned it, pushing the door in.

It opened.

It was dark inside and musty smelling. "Are there windows in this room?" I asked.

"Aye, my Lady," Tera said, staying well away from the open door, but peeking curiously inside all the same.

My eyes were adjusting to the darkness, and I could make out some filtered sunlight peeking out from behind what had to be curtains. I moved slowly through the room, careful not to run into any furniture. I reached the windows and threw back the drapes, blinking in the sudden sunlight.

I turned around and gasped.

It was a library. There was a large desk, cluttered with papers, and a fireplace near one end, and several chairs, tables, and comfortable-looking couches scattered about the room, but most of the room was taken up with floor-to-ceiling shelves of books.

"I think I'm in heaven," I murmured to myself. So many books! And all mine now!

_:If this was his study:_ Landon cut in, _:and he never let anyone inside, he may very well have left some kind of information on Orthallen being here. And who knows what other secrets he might be hiding.:_

"You're right," I whispered, looking over the place with renewed interest, my headache and hunger forgotten. I could hear Landon chuckling in the back of my mind. I was on a mission.

Tera had gathered enough courage to step inside the room, which, as I gave it a careful scrutiny, was filthy with dust and dirt. By now, several of the other servants were also crowded around, curiously peeking inside a room that had before been forbidden to them.

"Tera," I said, "please tell Ila that I shall take my lunch in here. I want to clean this room from top to bottom."

"Yes, my Lady," she said, curtseying.

"And tell her that if she'll please give Lucia her lunch, I'd appreciate it." I looked at the other women who had crowded around. "After you eat your lunch, and if you have no chores to attend to, I'd appreciate some help."

They looked at each other and then back at me, and then they all broke into a spontaneous chorus of "I'll help, my Lady!"

I smiled at their enthusiasm and accepted their offers and went to change my clothes. If I was going to do this, I was absolutely _not_ going to do it in a gown, protocol be hanged. I shrugged out of my dress and into my jeans and a t-shirt, put my hair up into a ponytail, and went back to the study.

I gathered all of the papers on the desk into one neat pile and set them aside. I would go through them later. Ila came in a moment later with a tray of food, which she nearly dropped when she saw my drastic change of attire.

I smiled sympathetically. "These are much more suited to cleaning than a gown."

She set the tray down on a table and stared at me. "What are they? I've never seen anything like that."

"Do you know that I'm not from your world?" I asked.

Ila was silent for a moment. "We'd heard rumors, my Lady, but it all seemed so fantastic, we didn't really believe them. But—"

I smiled at her. "It's true. I'm not from your world."

At that point, Lucia came flying in, followed by most of the female servants. I gathered her up into a hug and while we ate lunch, I told the women how I came to be here, and how I acquired Lucia and my new rank as Lady.

We set about to working after that, sweeping and washing the floor, cleaning the furniture and dusting the shelves, though not exactly in that order. The dust was so thick in the air that Lucia left the room, and we ended up opening the windows in order to keep from sneezing all the time.

We were hard at work, and nearly finished, when the sun was setting and Elsa came to the door.

"My Lady, there is a lady Healer here to see you."

I dropped the rag back into the bucket of water and rose, stretching sore muscles. I had forgotten that Three Rivers had sent a Healer that morning. Mindful of Marin's rebuke, however, I sent Elsa to obtain some documentation from the Healer. She returned with an official letter from the House of Healing in Three Rivers, witnessed by one Herald Vina.

_:It sounds safe to me:_ Landon said, "reading" the letter, so to speak, as the words of it went through my mind. _:It seems like a standard official letter, and I haven't heard word from Vina's Cheston that anything went awry with sending the Healer.:_

Good enough for me. "Send her in," I told Elsa.

She returned a moment later with a young woman who was dressed in Greens. I went over to her and handed her back her letter. "I'm Lady Jaelle," I said. "Please pardon my lack of formal attire, but we've been cleaning."

The young woman smiled. "I'm Healer Alana, and I understand the necessity of function over frills. How can I help you?"

I offered her a seat and told her of the families on the estate. Several times in the telling, she shook her head in disgust. "How would you like to handle this?" I asked. "You must be tired from your journey. Would you like something to eat? I can show you to your room if you'd like." At the mention of food, my stomach growled. I'd worked up an appetite that afternoon.

Alana nodded. "I'd appreciate that. I had to do an emergency Healing this morning, and haven't had time to really replenish my energy. If I could eat and get some sleep, I'll be ready to go first thing in the morning."

"Of course," I said. I turned to Kae. "Will you show her to her room? It's the one across from Marin's."

"Yes, my Lady," she replied, and led the young Healer from the study.

"I'll find out from Sara how long it will be until dinner," Ila said, and she set about giving instructions to the rest of the servants on removing the rags brooms and buckets from the room.

I closed the windows and, once the servants were gone, fell exhausted into a chair.

_:So how was your first full day as Lady:_ Landon asked.

"I want to go to bed," I stated.

I heard him laugh in my mind. _:It will get better. You'll get into a routine soon enough.:_

"Do me a favor, will you?" I asked, looking about the library. "Find out what people know about Nestor and Orthallen. It may be nothing, especially given how secretive he was, but the sooner we know something, the better."

_:I'll start on it tomorrow:_ he replied. _:I'll come around the house more. You might want to "encourage" the servants to come visit me as well. It's easier for me to read them if they're touching me.:_

"I'll do that," I said. I looked around the room once more, my eyes falling on the stack of papers Nestor had left. "I have a feeling I'm going to find out more than I ever wanted to know about Lord Nestor and his friends."

_:Funny:_ Landon replied. _:I have that feeling, too.:_

I suddenly realized that I was no longer hungry anymore.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Thank you for the reviews! That probably sounds really old by now, and even though I write for the love of it, I really do appreciate your comments and the time you take to make them. I trust that all your theories will be answered in due time. To those of you who celebrate it, I wish you a blessed Easter. Oh, and just to note: I'm not forgetting question marks and other punctuation in some of the mindspeech areas. Some of them just don't upload, and when I add them in on the edit screen, the changes don't save, no matter how often I try. It's actually pretty annoying.

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Chapter 14

As usual, Landon was right, though this time, I was glad for it. The household _did_ fall into a routine soon enough, especially once the supplies arrived. And a few days of routine was just what we needed to get all of us working at top efficiency to complete our tasks before winter set in.

I structured my time carefully: breakfast with Lucia and Marin, then basic schooling lessons for Lucia for an hour or so, then weaponswork for another hour. After bathing, I would then ride around the estate to see how the families were coming along on remodeling their homes. Lunch would follow, and then my afternoons were spent in the library, poring over the papers Nestor had left behind.

Nestor, clever little lord that he was, had written everything in code, and neither I nor Landon had broken it, a fact that frustrated both of us to no end.

In the meantime, Marin was in charge of all construction efforts, and Ila all clothing concerns. All the men (and some women) of the estate decided to band together and work on one house at a time, thus maximizing their efficiency. All the female servants (and some men), including the women among the families, banded together to sew clothes. Every spare minute that was not taken up with necessary household chores was devoted to building and sewing.

The children were brought to the House during this time. Ila had thought it might be an imposition, but I was glad for it. It gave Lucia some playmates, and me some time alone in the library. And since Alana had healed everyone who needed healing, there was no cause for worry regarding illness. The children were set up in one of the empty rooms, given some playthings, and allowed to amuse themselves under the watchful eye of one of the mothers.

And somehow, in the middle of all this organized chaos, Marin managed to give lessons to most of us, even without the presence of a salle. That would be built later, after the families' and servants' needs had been attended to.

_:Well:_ Landon said one afternoon as I was in the library, _:I've managed to get my hooves into everything to the point that the servants are annoyed and Marin threatened to tie me up.:_ I heard him chuckle. _:I think they think I'm crazy, and the rumor is starting that this is why I was "sent" up here with you.:_

I laughed with him. "Crazy, huh?" I shook my head. "You're not the one who talks to thin air."

_:Yes, but no one sees you:_ he countered. _:Well, let them think that if they please. All the better for me, but how else was I to get them to touch me:_

"You have my sympathies," I said. "Did you discover anything?"

_:Not much: _he replied. _:First, they're loyal to you to a fault—an amazing feat for you to accomplish so soon, though understandable, given how Nestor was. As far as Orthallen goes, some of the people, especially the families, know nothing about him at all. The household servants know the name, but they don't seem to know who he is.:_

I sat up in my chair. "What do you mean they don't know who he is?" I asked. "I would think that Orthallen's name would be common knowledge, especially among the older household servants, who were around when he went into hiding." I frowned in thought. "Didn't Selenay send out word about him after the incident with Elspeth?"

_:Of course:_ Landon exclaimed. :_Heralds carried word to every nook and cranny of Valdemar. That's what's so odd about this.:_

"Why would they not know him, then?" I asked, reaching for a slice of apple from the tray next to the desk.

_:I can't be certain without a deeper mindtouch,_: Landon replied:_but I think someone has tampered with their minds, making them forget the significance of who Orthallen is._:

My hand froze in mid-grasp. "Please tell me you're joking."

I heard him snort in my mind. :_Jaelle, this situation lost its amusement a long time ago_.:

I sighed heavily, and dropped the apple, reaching for my goblet of wine. "How am I supposed to deal with this?" I asked. "I don't know anything about mind-magic!"

:_Oh, it gets better,_: he said.

I drained the goblet and set it back on the tray. "Go ahead."

_:Would you like to guess whose name kept being associated with Orthallen's in their minds:_

"Not really," I replied.

:_Then I'll just tell you,_: Landon said:_provided you're sitting down, of course.:_

I briefly closed my eyes. This _really_ didn't sound good. "I'm sitting down," I announced. "Continue."

_:Lord Ehnley.:_

_Angels and ministers of grace defend us._

The thought, accompanied by Mel Gibson's voice, immediately ran through my head, and I was fairly certain I'd rather face my father's ghost than deal with this. Lord Ehnley! My eyes fell to a letter on my desk.

"Bloody—" I whispered.

_:What is it?_: Landon asked.

I picked the letter up and looked it over again. "While you and your hooves were out this morning, a letter arrived from our blessed Lord Ehnley," I told him. "He wants to come calling on me."

_:When:_ Landon asked.

"As soon as poss—"

I broke off, my eyes caught by one of Nestor's papers on the desk. I picked it up, staring at the coded words. There it was, that same six-symbol word that was in all the other papers. _Hmmm...six letters..._ "I wonder," I whispered, reaching for one of the pencils from my bookbag.

_:What is it: _Landon demanded. _:What's going on?_:

"Just a minute," I murmured absently, working on the code. If Ehnley's name was what that six-symbol word was for— but—_no, _I thought. _It couldn't be that simple._

_:What couldn't be that simple?_: Landon said, practically shouting in my mind. :_I swear, Jaelle, if you don't tell me what's going on, I'll barge through one of those windows:_

I looked up from my work at the windows. "That's a good idea," I said. "I could use an extra pair of eyes. Could you come up here and look at this paper?"

_:I'm on my way,_: he replied, a little more subdued. _:Now, what paper are you talking about:_

_Hmmm...if that symbol represents an "E", then this one..._ It was all falling into place. How could we have not seen it?

**_:JAELLE!:_**

"Ow!" I shouted back, rubbing the side of my head. "That hurt!"

_:What. Paper. Are. You. Talking. About.:_

"I think I've broken the code," I said. "And don't do that again unless it's an emergency!"

_:I'm almost there:_ he said, and I could hear the undercurrent of excitement in his mindvoice.

I turned my attention back to the paper in front of me, furiously marking the letters about the symbols. Words were beginning to form—ones that made sense this time, unlike all those late-night, botched attempts.

_:I'm here:_ he said. _:At the third window. Bring it over and let me see.:_

I looked up to find him standing on the other side of one of the windows, side of his face pressed so tightly against the glass, it was deformed.

I pushed my chair over to the window, chuckling. "You look like a nerd," I said.

_:I'm going to assume that was a compliment: _he said sardonically. :_Now let's see it.:_

I sat in the chair and put my feet up on the desk and we worked on the code. "I know this is right," I said. "See this symbol? It _has_ to represent an 'I'."

_:Then the one above it is an "A": he_ replied.

"Are you sure?"

_:Just try it:_ he said.

I wrote the letters in above the symbols, and soon, a coherent message began to take shape. As soon as Selenay's name showed up, I knew we had broken the code. There was no way that could be a coincidence. I quickly finished writing and began to read what it said.

"By all that's holy..." I whispered. I turned it to the window before Landon could protest. I waited until he looked up from reading it. "Landon, what are we going to do?"

:_I'll be saddled and ready to go in ten minutes:_ he replied, all trace of amusement or sarcasm gone. :_I need you to gather up every coded paper you can find and bind them to put in my saddlebags. I'll be at the main door in a few minutes.:_

I merely nodded to him, and he turned and left.

I stood there for a moment, just staring down at the paper in my hand, a sick fear spreading through my entire body. One phrase jumped off the page, burning itself into my mind and heart.

"_...to effect the assassination of Selenay..."_

_Angels and ministers of grace defend us._ Ehnley and Orthallen were going to kill Selenay, and soon, and Nestor had been right in the middle of all of it—although how, I couldn't really tell. And where was Orthallen? Was Ehnley keeping him on his estate all this time? And how had Nestor managed to overpower the minds of all of his servants? Had he been Gifted, or was it Ehnley's doing—or even Orthallen's?

I shook myself out of my trance and gathered all the coded papers I could find. Part of me wanted to delay Landon's leaving until I could decode them, but I knew that it was absolutely imperative that he be on his way as soon as possible. He had already told me that his mindspeech couldn't reach from Haven to here, leaving him little choice. He had to leave.

I met him at the front door. All the servants were otherwise occupied, for which I was grateful. The less they saw, the better.

"What will Selenay do?" I asked as I securely packed the papers into his saddlebags.

_:Bring him in and question him under the Truth Spell,_: Landon replied.

"But he's up here," I said. "Wouldn't he be suspicious if the guard came knocking, or he got some request to return to Haven?"

_:She'll probably send a Herald: _he said. :_Whatever the case, you must promise me that you won't do anything stupid.:_

I paused in my ministrations to look at him. "I can't ignore his letter, Landon."

_:I know you can't,_: he replied. :_Just—be careful. If he's willing to kill Selenay, you don't have much hope.:_

I threw my arms around his neck. "You be careful. I have Marin here, thanks to Alberich's Foresight."

_:No one will catch me:_ he stated, his mindvoice strong and determined. He caressed my cheek with his nose, and then turned, cantering out of the yard, and then breaking into a gallop.

I watched him until he was out of sight before turning back into the house. For the first time since I arrived in Valdemar, I was alone.

It was _not_ a good feeling.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Once again, thank you for the reviews! Spring break has given me more time to play around with this. I think I've managed to plan it out so that I'll wrap up the story in about four more chapters or so. To Tsukinoko, I don't really know who the ninth person was. S/he was to me what the red shirt crew members were to the Original Star Trek. They existed for the purpose of dying and furthering the plot. Same situation here. Where in Japan do you live? I used to live there as well in Yokohama. To Fireblade...me? Looking at you? Why_ever_ would you think that? coughltmcough

Oh, and the punctuation disclaimer still applies. Weird.

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Chapter 15

I delayed in answering Lord Ehnley for as long as politely possible—only a few days—and when I did answer him, I told him that there was much work being done to the House and that, of course, I would be delighted to entertain him, but warned him that he would not be catching me at my best.

He didn't take the hint.

He sent back a reply stating that he understood all about such things, and that the sight of me would balance out the ugliness of construction, or some such disgusting nonsense. So, there was no getting out of it. He would be arriving in three days for dinner and would I mind putting him up for the night, it being too far to travel back to his own estates to arrive there at a decent hour?

I tossed his note back on the desk and sighed heavily.

Marin picked the note up. "There's no point in responding to this, except for appearances' sake. By date of this letter, he is due to arrive later today. By the time you could get a messenger sent, he'd probably be here."

"How convenient for him," I replied.

Marin shot me a look. "You must work on your charm a little more." He tossed the note back onto the desk. "I still wish you'd give me permission to...detain him."

I shook my head. "We _can't_. We don't know where Orthallen is, or what Ehnley is capable of." I reached for my goblet. "For all we know, he could be Mage-Gifted!" I downed some of the water and set the goblet back on the desk. "For that matter, Nestor could have been crazy! We can't just go attacking nobility without some real proof, and the only way we're going to get that is for Selenay to send a Herald to Truth Spell the man."

"Do you really think Nestor was crazy?" Marin asked, giving me a knowing look.

"Of course not," I replied. "But one thing is as certain as Ehnley's guilt—the servants' minds have been tampered with, and we don't know who did it. We can't afford to take the chance of attacking Ehnley, only to find that he's hiding a powerful Gift." I shook my head again. "I have a daughter now, and a whole household to protect. I will _not_ take that chance."

Marin started to protest, and I held up my hand to stop him. "I don't doubt your abilities. If Alberich trusts you, you have to be at least as good as he is. But the answer is 'no.'" I pushed my chair away from the desk and rose. "He will come. He will have a nice dinner, and I'll be sweet and charming and kiss up to him all I need to convince him that I—and everyone else in this house—am harmless."

"My Lady," Marin said, looking decidedly uncomfortable, "I don't need to know the details of your intimate intentions."

I frowned in confusion for a moment, but then realized that he misunderstood my meaning. I smiled at him. "It's just a phrase, Marin. I have no intention of kissing—or doing anything else—with that man."

He raised an eyebrow. "Just a phrase, huh? I would suggest you not use it anymore. Ever. Especially around nobility or gossiping servants."

I nodded contritely, and hid another smile. I could only wonder what his reaction would be to the variations on the theme of that phrase.

A knock on the door of the library interrupted us. Elsa entered with a letter on a silver tray.

"This was just delivered, m'lady," she said. "A lady Herald brought it."

My heart beat fast as I reached for the letter. It had to be from Selenay regarding the papers, for I couldn't imagine what other matter would warrant delivery by Herald. I took the letter. Sure enough, the royal crest of Valdemar was imprinted on the seal. "Is the Herald still here?"

Elsa shook her head. "No, m'lady. She said she had business she needed to attend to, and rode away."

"Thank you, Elsa," I said.

She smiled at me and nodded to both of us and left the room, closing the door behind herself. I waited a few more moments before speaking. "See, Marin? Selenay is sending a Herald to take care of this, just as Landon predicted." I broke the seal on the letter. "Perhaps she can reach Ehnley's estate before he leaves, or intercept him on his way, and we can avoid the whole messy situation altogether."

I began to read. It was a cryptic response, to be sure, but that was probably for the best. I was sure Landon had told Selenay that I would be entertaining Ehnley, and it would hardly do for her to send back something explicit.

It was just a short note thanking me for my "gift," and that she knew "just where to put it," followed by silly, trivial information and a message for Lucia from Kyrah. Once I finished reading it, I passed it over to Marin.

He scanned it and then nodded towards the fireplace, which held a substantial blaze within it. "I think it would be wise to dispose of this."

"You're probably right," I said. Even though there was little, if anything, suspicious in the letter, there was no need to take chances.

Marin walked over to the fireplace and dropped the letter into the flames. He didn't budge until the entire paper had turned to ash and soot and the wax seal had melted.

Watching the fire cheerfully consuming its lunch reminded me that I hadn't eaten since breakfast. "I'm going to get some lunch and then have Ila set up one of the guest rooms."

"Put him on the other side of me," Marin said. "That way, I'll be between him and you."

Given that his job was to protect me, I didn't argue. I also made a mental note to have Lucia stay in my room with me that night. One could never be too careful.

A few hours later, Ehnley's carriage pulled up. I was dressed in my finest gown and was wearing a smile that would won me a spot on a toothpaste commercial.

Ehnley emerged from his carriage and smiled at me. I coyly batted my eyelashes at him as he walked up, and held out my hand for him.

"Lord Ehnley!" I gushed. "It's so lovely to see you again! We were just torn apart the last time we met, and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to you."

"I'm flattered that you remember me," he said, kissing the back of my hand.

"But, of course I did," I said. "I could never forget someone so charming!" I realized that I was beginning to effect a southern accent in high Scarlett O'Hara fashion, and I cut back on some of my "charm." "Allow me to show you in."

"Of course," he said, following me inside. "Did you receive my note?"

"I did," I replied, "just this morning. I—"

"I do apologize for that," he said, interrupting me. "One of my servants was careless, else it would have come much sooner."

Liar.

He offered me his arm, which I took. "I've punished the boy most thoroughly for his error." He looked at me sideways. "I do hope I haven't caught you at a bad time?"

His tone was hoping I said no, but his eyes made it clear that he'd planned this whole meeting with just that purpose in mind. I suspected that I would soon find out why.

"Of course not," I said. "Shall I show you to your room?"

I showed him where he would be staying, and had one of the servants bring his things up. I didn't know what to expect in terms of luggage, but I was pleasantly surprised, and relieved, to see that he only had one small trunk. He clearly didn't intend to stay long.

Once he was settled, I took him on a riding tour of the grounds. It kept the small talk to a minimum, while wasting as much time as possible before dinner. Soon enough, however, we were back in the house, and he requested a tour.

Curious, especially as he and Nestor kept close company.

I complied, however, and it wasn't until we neared the library that I noticed (between my senseless babbling) him taking any interest. Once he saw the door, however, his eyes lit up like a cat in a dairy, though he tried hard enough to conceal his impatience to get there.

Once we entered the room, I noticed that his eyes immediately went to the lower portion of one of the bottom bookshelves.

Very curious. I had dusted all the shelves, and I hadn't found anything of interest in them. Perhaps I just hadn't looked hard enough. I would have to remedy that.

"Well," he began, "this room looks very neatly kept." He looked all around now in polite interest.

"It's my favorite room," I said. "I love books, and the view is magnificent from the windows."

He nodded. "I gather this place was quite a mess when you arrived. My understanding was that Nestor wasn't very good at keeping this place clean."

"Your understanding is correct," I said, dropping my tone to a near-conspiratorial whisper. "The other rooms weren't so bad, but this room was simply awful."

Another nod. "I suppose he had a lot of papers around," he said casually. "I heard he liked to write."

Of course. The papers. He _would_ want to know where they were. I decided not to try to conceal my knowledge of them—to an extent, that is.

"He did have quite a few papers," I said. "I didn't really know what to do with them all!"

Ehnley smiled, but it was a tight, stiff smile, that reflected his whole posture. "What did you do with them?"

"I burned them," I said. One of the first lessons learned from my ethics class was that criminals, by definition, have relinquished all right to expect to hear the truth. I didn't feel the slightest guilt for lying to his face.

His eyes grew wide, and his control slipped for just a moment. "You burned them? All of them?"

I pretended not to notice. "Yes," I replied. "I couldn't make any sense of them. He wasn't even writing in Valdemaran, and I'm certain I have no idea _what_ language it was. What possible use could there be in keeping them?" I moved closer to him, and dropped my tone once more. "Personally, I think he was crazy. What do you think? You lived near him for a quite some time, didn't you?"

Ehnley visibly relaxed, apparently convinced that all evidence against him was now destroyed, and I felt myself relax in turn. "I wouldn't normally tell anyone this," he replied in an equally low tone, "but since he's gone and you saw his things, he was on the verge of madness in his later years." He shook his head sadly. "I suspect it finally caught up to him."

I shook my head with him. "What a shame." I heard the faint tinkling of the dinner bell and smiled up at Ehnley. "Dinner is ready. Shall we go?"

"Of course, my dear," he said, offering me his arm.

Dinner was a long, drawn-out affair that involved a great deal of smiling and empty-headed comments on my part, and a veiled suggestion from Ehnley that he might be interested in pursuing a relationship with me.

Preferring to set my hair on fire instead, but not wanting to offend him, I merely pretended to misunderstand what he was saying.

He seemed delighted with Lucia, and wary of Marin, and he completely ignored the servants. I was grateful for that, for Ila's eyes nearly jumped out of her head when she heard me talking to him like a butterfly-brained courtier, and I was able to silence her with a glance before Ehnley noticed our interchange. Thankfully, Ila was clever enough to understand, if not my strange behavior, then at least what I wanted from her, and she promptly resumed her "servant" expression.

Once dinner was over, Ehnley claimed exhaustion and retired to his room, stating that he would leave early in the morning to return to his estates. Marin and I retired to the library with a word to Ila to keep careful watch and inform us immediately if Ehnley left his room.

I told Marin of my earlier exchange with Ehnley regarding the papers. "But if that was what he was so concerned about," I said, "why didn't he come looking for them sooner?"

"What good reason could he present for entering the house after Nestor died?" Marin asked. "To say nothing of coming in here and going through the papers." He sat down in the chair next to himself. "He had to wait until he found out who was taking over the estate, and then he had to wait a proper amount of time before calling on you."

"Sounds logical," I said.

"Furthermore," Marin continued, "the papers were coded, and he probably assumed that whoever took over would be too busy to try to decode them. So you would have been if you hadn't had good ears and a nosy Companion those first few days here."

"Too true," I said. I would never have given those papers a second thought if I hadn't overheard the girls mention Orthallen's name, and I doubt I would have broken the code so quickly without Landon. "And this would explain his showing up now to get them," I said, "before I did find the time to decode them."

"Exactly," Marin said. "By the strict rules of etiquette, he should have waiting longer before calling on you."

"I'd be a little nervous if I were in his shoes," I said.

"As would I," Marin replied. He stood up, glancing out of the windows at the moon. "I should 'retire' as well, just to keep an ear out."

"Goodnight," I said, watching him go. Truth be told, I was as exhausted as Ehnley had claimed to feel. It was emotionally draining, pretending to be someone I wasn't. I rose from my own chair, and followed in Marin's wake.

Ila met me at the door. "Mistress Lucia is in your room, bathed and waiting for a story."

"Thank you, Ila," I said. "I appreciate all your help this evening." Normally, I would bathe Lucia, but I had asked Ila to do it, as I had to entertain our guest.

Ila smiled. "It was a delight, m'Lady." Her smile quickly faded, however, and she grasped my hand. "I know it's none of my concern," she said in a low voice, "and you'd be right to set me in my place or dismiss me, but please, my Lady, don't marry that man! He isn't trustworthy!" Tears collected in her eyes, and I quickly drew her into the library before someone could hear her.

"Don't worry, Ila," I said softly, "I'm not going to marry him. Surely you could see that I wasn't being myself around him."

"Aye, my Lady, but—"

"Trust me," I said. "I can't explain it to you now, but believe me, I want nothing to do with him." I smiled at her and offered her a handkerchief. "I appreciate your concern, and that you care enough to tell me what you really think."

Ila dabbed at her eyes. "He's evil, that man. I don't know how, but I feel it in my bones." She looked at me. "We all care for you, you know."

"Yes," I replied with a smile, "I know." I had a sudden thought. "Ila, there is something you can do for me."

"What is it, m'Lady?"

"Sleep in here tonight," I replied. "I know it won't be comfortable, and I can't explain why, but I'd really appreciate it if you would do so."

She looked at me for a moment. "I'm guessing you'll want me to sleep with one eye open."

"Yes, Ila," I replied. "That's exactly what I want you to do. And please don't tell anyone about this. Just say you were cleaning up and sat down to rest and fell asleep before you knew it."

She smiled at me knowingly, and then drew a long knife from a slit in her skirt. "Marin has been training us well."

I raised an eyebrow at the sight of the weapon, but did not take it from her. "Don't use it unless your life depends on it," I said. "I just want to know if Ehnley 'wanders' in here during the night."

"You can count on me," Ila replied.

"That's why I asked you," I told her. After the way Ehnley had looked at that bookshelf, I couldn't help but wonder if there was something there. I didn't dare look until he had gone, and perhaps it may have merely been the place where Nestor hid his papers, but I too curious to let it be. If there was something else there, there would be no better time for Ehnley to try to get it than tonight.

I retired to my room, where Lucia was nearly buried under the covers. It was late autumn and the world of Velgarth knew nothing of central heating. I undressed as quickly as I could and shrugged into a warm flannel chemise and crawled into bed.

"Would you like a story?" I asked my daughter, who was being unusually silent.

She shook her head. "Mama, I don't like that man."

"Do you mean Lord Ehnley?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Why don't you like him?" As though there weren't a million reasons to detest the man, but a child had a unique perspective on people.

"He thinks bad thoughts," she said. "He doesn't like you, or me, or Marin, or anyone!"

I was completely taken aback. "Sweetling, what do you mean, he thinks bad thoughts? How do you know what he's thinking?"

"Because I can hear them in my head," she replied.

I think my jaw dropped to my knees. Was this child telling me she had the Gift of Mindspeech? How in the _world_ was this possible? She was four years old, and wouldn't even be five for another few months, as best as Talia had been able to determine. I knew from the books that Gifts didn't usually show up until a Trainee was in his or her third year at the Collegium. Lucia wasn't even Chosen!

_Jisa_. The name suddenly came to my mind from all the jumbled memories of the books. If I remembered correctly, she was Vanyel's daughter, and she showed signs of Gifts at a very early age, as Lucia was doing.

"Lucia, how long have you been hearing voices in your head?" I asked.

She shrugged. "It started after Landon left, I guess."

"Do you hear them all the time?"

She shook her head. "Only when they're really loud."

I brushed a strand of hair from her eyes. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Another shrug. "Doesn't everyone do the same thing?"

I shook my head and gathered her in my arms. "No, sweetheart. Most people can't do what you do."

She looked up at me. "Is there something wrong with me? Is that why they wanted to get rid of me?"

I thought I was going to cry. "No, not at all," I said. "Nothing is wrong with you. You have a Gift, that's all, and we're going to have to get you some special lessons to learn how not to hear the voices. In fact," I continued, "you'll probably be Chosen by a Companion when you're older."

Her whole face lit up with wonder. "I want to be a Herald more than anything," she said.

I smiled back. "You know, we may have to go back to Haven for lessons." I couldn't imagine who would possibly have the experience in teaching Gifts up in this part of the kingdom.

"And I can see Kyrah?" she cried.

I nodded.

"When can we go? Tomorrow?"

I hugged her close and kissed her. "No, sweetie, not tomorrow." I wanted to wait until the whole situation regarding Ehnley was over before leaving. "We have to wait until all the repairs are finished on the House."

"Oh," she said, clearly disappointed.

"How about if you write to Kyrah tomorrow and tell her you're coming?" I suggested.

She brightened back up. "All right!" She gave me a big hug, and then climbed back under the covers. Within a few moments, she was asleep.

I had to remember to be careful what I thought around her. Her comment about thoughts being 'loud' didn't make much sense. I suspected that her Gift was probably not fully open, and so was only working some of the time. I made a mental note to tell her to inform me whenever she could hear my thoughts. That might make it easier to determine if her Hearing was random or if it really was because those around her were thinking 'loud' in some sense.

Her information about Ehnley proved interesting. Not that his feelings about me were any surprise, but if he was broadcasting his thoughts like that, it was probably safe to say that he wasn't Gifted, and so wasn't the one who had tampered with the servants' minds.

I blew out the candle and pulled the covers up around my chin. I suspected that tomorrow would promise to be very interesting.

I was disappointed, however. I rose early only to find that Ehnley was nearly ready to leave. We ate a hasty breakfast, and then I saw him to his carriage with the promise to invite him back when the house was in more order. He seemed pleased with this, reiterated his not-so-subtle desire for further relations with me, and then climbed into his carriage and set off. I kept the toothpaste-commercial smile on my face until he was out of sight. Only then did I breathe a sigh of relief and turn back into the house.

Marin and Ila were waiting for me just inside the door.

"I couldn't help but notice the look he gave you when he saw you this morning," I said to Ila. Based on what I saw, had she been his servant, her employment would be in severe doubt.

She nodded. "You should have seen the look he gave me when he saw me last night in the library."

I looked from her to Marin, speechless.

"It's true," Marin said. "I stayed awake all night, and when I heard him leave his room, I followed him at a distance. He went straight to the library."

"Why?" I asked. I turned to Ila. "What did he say to you?"

"He was clearly startled to find me there," she replied. "He claimed he was looking for the privy, but it was clear he was quite angry with the whole situation. He went back upstairs, and I didn't see him again until this morning."

"What did you say to him?" I asked.

"Just what you told me, that I had fallen asleep there doing work." She smiled a bit. "I thanked him for wandering in and then mentioned that you wouldn't be happy to find that the work wasn't done, so I would have to stay in there until I finished. _That_ was when he seemed to get angry and left."

"You did very well, Ila," I said. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention this to any of the other servants."

"Of course, m'Lady," she replied.

"Thank you. I promise, I'll explain all of it as soon as I'm able."

She smiled at me again. "I don't need no explanation, my Lady. You have your reasons, I'm sure, and that's enough for me." She dropped a curtsey. "If you'll excuse me, I'll be getting to the sewing now."

"Thank you," I said, a little stunned. Landon had said they were loyal to me, but I hadn't expected anything like this.

"With your permission, I'll be going as well," Marin said.

"Did Ehnley come right back to bed?" I asked.

Marin nodded. "He didn't look very happy about it, either."

"Thank you for all your help," I said. "Hopefully, that will be the last we see of Lord Ehnley."

"Indeed," he said before turning away.

I headed straight for the library and closed the door, and then made a beeline for the lower bookshelf. I got on my knees and removed about half of the books and reached back to find an open space where there should have been the wall.

I peered into it, but I couldn't see anything. Where was a decent flashlight when I needed it? I rose and searched around the room for a short candle. Spying one that was nearly burned down, I lit it in the fireplace and returned to the bookshelf, carefully pushing it back. I had no idea what was back there, if anything, and it certainly wouldn't do to set my house on fire.

I still couldn't see anything, so I retrieved the candle and blew it out. I then got down on my stomach and reached my arm into the open space as far as I could, searching for whatever might be back there.

_If I feel any bugs, they're going to hear me screaming all the way in Haven!_ All I could see in my mind was that scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where Indy had to reach into that crevice full of bugs in order to pull that lever. I got shivers and a vague sense of nausea just thinking about it. So when my hand brushed against something, I nearly jumped out of my skin. It took a moment for my brain to register that it was hardwood and not slimy and soft, so I felt around for it again, and shortly found it.

It was a box, it seemed, though more like a small chest than a simple square. I found a handle on the side and I grasped it and pulled. The box barely moved.

_What's in this thing?_ I wondered.

I braced myself and pulled again, this time with more determination, and the box slowly gave way. Once I had it close enough, I sat up and reached in with both hands and pulled it out.

It was a small, dusty, wooden chest, as I had thought, and there was a small lock keeping it closed. I tried the lock, but it wouldn't budge. I needed to find a key.

There was no way I was going to be able to pick it up and put it on the desk, so I rose, looking all around the room.

"Where would he have hidden the key?" I asked aloud, as though the books could answer me in return. I tore the room apart as neatly as I could, looking under bookshelves and chairs and even the desk, but to no avail. I even felt back around inside the open space where I found the chest, but there was nothing more in there. An hour later, I was no closer to opening the box than when I'd started looking. I'd have to pick the lock, then.

As I looked around the room for a suitable lock pick, I remembered my own set of keys I had in my book bag. I had a little pen knife on that keychain that just might work. I ran to get it. I spent the next half-hour working on that blasted lock.

Magnum, P.I., I was not.

I was about to give up when it finally clicked open. I set the knife aside and removed the lock. I lifted the lid with more than a little trepidation.

My jaw dropped as I gazed on the contents. _No wonder it's so heavy._

The chest was full of gold. There was a whole box full of the shiny coins. My mind started to whirl. Was it blood money? Ehnley's payment to Nestor for letting Orthallen stay at his house? A bribe of some sort? I really wished I'd been able to decode the rest of those papers so that I'd have some answers!

I supposed the answers would be coming soon enough, what with Selenay sending that Herald to Ehnley's place. Patience, however, was not one of my virtues that day, but there was little I could do. I didn't dare leave until I heard from either Selenay or Landon that the situation had been resolved.

I also didn't know what to do with the gold. Ehnley obviously knew it was there, and Selenay certainly needed to know. I debated about moving it, but decided it was probably best kept where I found it.

_No wonder Ehnley wanted to marry me_, I thought as I pushed the chest back behind the bookshelf. He had to have known he wouldn't have had much success at stealing the chest. Easier, then, to marry into it.

Well, _that_ wasn't going to happen any time soon.

I put the books back on the shelf and straightened the room up and then set about my daily tasks.

It was later that night when all hell seemed to break loose.

We had just finished eating dinner and were leaving the dining room when I heard the screaming begin. It was female and sounded like it was coming from the kitchen. Lucia instinctively clung to my skirts.

"Lucia, sweet," I said, as calmly as I could, while Marin drew a long dagger from his boot, "I want you to go hide upstairs in my room. Don't come out until I say so, do you understand?"

She nodded and ran up the stairs as fast as she could. Marin handed me his dagger, and drew another one. I nodded to him that I was ready and we slowly advanced towards the kitchen. A moment later, however, Ila and Sara burst forth from it, both sobbing like children.

"What's wrong?" I demanded. "We heard a scream."

Ila buried her face in her hands and burst into a fresh round of tears. Marin motioned me back and he went into the kitchen. He returned a few moments later and shook his head. "There's nothing there."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

He nodded. "I searched the whole area. No one is in there." He looked at the women. "I'm going to get my swords from upstairs."

I heard sobs coming from behind me and looked to see that several of the other female servants were emerging in the same state as Ila and Sara.

"What is going on here?" I said.

"We didn't know, my Lady," Tera said, her shoulders shaking.

"Didn't know what?" I asked. "What are you talking about? Is someone hurt?"

"We didn't know about Orthallen!" cried Sara, and as if on cue, the others started wailing.

Orthallen? I felt my blood run cold, but there was no way I was going to figure this out with the noise level as it was.

"**_Enough!_**"

The entire room fell instantly silent, and they all gazed wide-eyed at me.

"I need you to tell me what's going on." I turned to Ila, who had always seemed to be the strong one of the group. "Ila?"

"It—it was like we just started remembering," she said. "Like we'd woken up from some dream, all of us, all at once."

"What did you remember?" I asked as Marin came back into the room, a sword in either hand. He shook he head slightly. There was nothing out of place upstairs.

"We remembered _who he was_," Ila replied. "He's been here, and Lord Nestor entertained him and Lord Ehnley, and we _knew_, but—" She broke off, unable to continue.

"But we didn't know," Sara said. "You have to believe us, my Lady. If we had known, we would have said something—"

"We're loyal to the Crown!" Tera cried.

I held up my hand for silence. "I do believe you, Sara, and I think I know what's happened." I handed Marin back his dagger. Clearly, the spell on their minds had been broken somehow. "Gather everyone together," I ordered. "I'll explain everything as best I can." I approached Marin and told him my theory.

"I agree," he said. "I've seen it before when I fought with Karse. Those who were suffering under spells were released once the one casting the spell was killed."

My eyes grew wide with understanding. "So you think that whoever set the spell is now dead?"

He nodded. "I would stake a small fortune on it."

I mulled it over in my mind. "It couldn't have been Nestor, then, who bespelled them, since he's been dead. I don't think it's Ehnley," I said, and related to him Lucia's emerging Gift.

"That would leave just one person then," he said.

"Orthallen."

Marin nodded. "From the information we have, it would appear that way. We could be completely wrong, however."

"Don't say that," I replied. "I'm getting enough gray hairs as it is." Where was CNN when you needed it! This waiting for information from Haven was going to kill me.

The servants were assembled, and I did my best to tell them what had happened to them and what we knew of the situation. Marin made sure to stress what we _didn't_ know, and to make sure that everyone understood that they were not to speak of this to anyone until the matter was completely settled by the Queen.

Marin then armed some of the servants and patrolled the grounds around the House just to make sure that all was well. It was a very, very late night before anyone went to bed, and even later before sleep came.

The following week was torture. I kept waiting for word that never came. Even with the routine of daily life, it was still difficult to concentrate. I filled my time by writing letters to everyone I knew. I sent one off to Treven, to the place he'd estimated he'd be by then. I sent another to Selenay, telling her of Lucia's emerging Gift, and how we were planning on making a visit to Haven to see about training. I wrote to Alberich to thank him for sending Marin, hoping he could read between the lines and understand. I even wrote to Landon. And, just to keep myself from going crazy, I wrote to both Elspeth and Talia, and sent in a letter from Lucia to Kyrah. Between all the bland news, I was hoping someone would get the hint and write back. I knew things took time here, but honestly! I was going mad! What was going on? Were Orthallen and Ehnley dead? What if Selenay had just forgotten to send word to me? I quickly banished that last worry. Even if she had forgotten, I reasoned, Landon would have remembered and gotten someone to write a note.

It wasn't until the next week at breakfast that Elsa came in with a letter. It bore the royal seal, and I had to restrain myself from snatching it off the tray.

"It's about time," I commented under my breath. Marin had stopped eating, waiting to find out what the letter said. Even Ila and Elsa lingered, waiting.

With trembling fingers, I broke the seal and hungrily devoured the words before me. I wasn't but a few sentences into the letter when I felt the blood drain from my face.

"Oh, dear God," I whispered, a true prayer. "No...it can't be."

"What is it?" Marin asked, his tone as cold and dreadful as I felt just then.

I looked up to find that even Lucia had stopped eating, waiting expectantly. Tears filled my eyes, blurring their images.

"Selenay is dead."


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Thank you for the reviews (and a special thanks to etcetera-cat)! I have a 15-page paper due soon, so naturally, I'm doing this instead. rolls eyes I'd like to finish before finals next month, but I don't know how likely that will be.

And like last time, I'm not punctuationally-challenged.

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Chapter 16

"I have no doubt that you'll all be fine in my absence," I said to the assembled group of servants. The trunks were packed and secured to the carriage, and Lucia and I were ready to leave for Haven. "And Marin is here. You'll be safe enough."

I looked down at the official letter from Haven, informing me of Selenay's death, and Elspeth's upcoming coronation. It said nothing of Ehnley or of the circumstances of Selenay's death. It was merely a general order for all nobility to come to Haven to swear fealty to their new Queen. Winter would soon set it, and it acknowledged the inability of many nobles to attend, and gave the option of coming in the spring.

Wild horses couldn't keep me away, to say nothing of a little snow.

Elspeth _had_ written a little note at the end, saying that there would be room at the Palace if I was coming, and that she hoped I _would_ come, but she was silent regarding all else. I had dashed off a quick reply and then ordered the trunks packed immediately. Lucia and I were just about to set out.

"What of Ehnley?" Marin asked.

"He can burn in hell for all I care," I snapped. "The smiling little b—" I shut my mouth, suddenly mindful of Lucia's presence.

"Mama, that's _not_ a nice word," she said, looking up at me in all seriousness.

I had forgotten that she could hear thoughts. "I'm sorry, sweetheart," I said, taking a deep breath to calm myself and try to get my thoughts to be a little more "quiet." I looked to Marin. "I'm not going to sit around here anymore just waiting. I'm going to Haven, regardless of what has or has not happened to Ehnley." I looked out over the rest of them. "If you need me, send word. I'll write as soon as I arrive and know something."

"Be safe," Marin said, the servants murmuring their agreement.

"And you," I replied. I nodded to them all, and then left, anxious to be off. Jasen, one of the male servants, would be driving the carriage. He was the best trained, according to Marin, who wasn't about to take any chances. He helped us into the carriage, and a moment later, we pulled out of the yard, waving goodbye to everyone as we went.

It took over a week to reach Haven. Traveling by carriage was a lot slower than even by horseback, to say nothing of Companion-back.

I missed Landon. I was certain that Elspeth would be too busy to see me upon my arrival, so I intended to drop Lucia off at the nursery to see Kyrah, and then head straight for Companions' Field. The letter I sent on ahead would reach Haven before we did, so I was sure Landon would be waiting for me. Well, I _hoped_ he would. After everything else that had happened, I no longer had the confidence to be sure of anything.

Tears filled my eyes as I thought of Selenay. I still couldn't believe it, and I knew it wouldn't really be real to me until I reached Haven and saw Elspeth. Poor Elspeth! And Talia! And poor Caryo, who I doubted survived the death of her Chosen. And little Kyrah...it would be just as hard for her as well. I was anxious for Lucia to spend time with her and hopefully help her through her sadness.

I shook my head in dismay. The canon was truly obliterated now. I'd hardly had time to ponder the differences since I became a Lady, but with nothing to do now but sit, I felt the full weight of it as I made my way towards Haven. Whatever had happened with Vaneyl way back then had now truly destroyed the way it was supposed to be. I sighed heavily in disgust, and renewed my determination to figure it all out. Someday, I would know. I wouldn't be able to do anything about it, but at least I could curse the blasted fool who caused the changes, whoever he was.

We arrived at the Palace around noon, and were taken immediately to our old suites. There was a note on the table with my name on it, and I picked it up.

_Jaelle, I'm glad you're here. According to our Farseers, I expect you'll get in about noon. I have meetings all day, but Kyrah is looking forward to seeing Lucia, and Landon is looking forward to seeing you. I, unfortunately, have to wait until tonight. But if you're not too tired, please come by my suites before you go to bed. Elspeth_

Lucia was tugging at my skirts, wanting to go to the nursery. One of the servants who knew us offered to take her, to which I agreed. Once she was gone, I looked about the room. I _could_ unpack, but quickly dismissed that notion. I knew there was no way I could put off seeing Landon another minute. I changed out of my gown into my jeans and t-shirt and sneakers, grabbed my coat, and headed for the Field.

I ducked through the rails, and caught the eye of the first Companion I could find. I didn't even have to say anything before she nudged me with her nose and pointed with it over my shoulder. I turned to see Landon approach at a canter.

The sight of him brought all the emotions of not knowing about Orthallen, and now Selenay's death, to the surface. As soon as he stopped in front of me, I threw my arms around his neck and burst into tears. I was tired of being the strong Lady, and I hadn't realized how much I had missed being able to lean on him.

_:Let's go somewhere more private:_ he suggested, after I'd gotten myself under control, kneeling so that I could mount. We trotted off to a secluded corner of the Field and I slid off his back.

"I want to know everything that happened after you left the House," I stated.

_:I made it back to Haven in two days or so:_ he said_. :We decoded the papers and discovered that Ehnley and Orthallen were plotting with Ancar to kill Selenay and Elspeth and then take over the Crown. We're not sure which one of them planned to be king, as the documents didn't really say.:_ He shook a stray twig out of his mane._ :Nestor was providing a cover for them, and we expect that he was being paid handsomely for it.: _

Well, that explained the mystery of the gold.

_:Selenay immediately sent a Herald to apprehend them both, as the papers stated that Orthallen was living on Ehnley's estates: _Landon continued_. :This particular Herald was injured in her trip to the estates, so she called on a nearby Herald to take over, who went to the estates and confronted Ehnley under Truth Spell. What the papers said was true, but the Herald didn't know that Orthallen was there. Orthallen and Ehnley attacked him. In the ensuing fight, they were killed, but so was he.:_ He paused for a moment.

"And then?" I prompted.

_:Of course we knew what happened once the Death Bell began to ring, and we thought it was all over:_ he said_. :Later that night, however, a group of assassins stole onto Palace grounds and shot Caryo full of arrows. They would have done the same for Gwena, but we Companions were alerted to them by then, and killed them:_ he snarled._ :We read their minds before they died. They were OutKingdom, sent by Ancar himself through Ehnley and Orthallen.:_

I was stunned—shocked—by it all. "They went through _Caryo_?"

Landon nodded. _:It was very clever of them, too. We hadn't even anticipated that.:_ He switched his tail, a frustrated gesture that matched his tone of voice. _:The strange thing is, they knew they were going to die when they agreed to carry out their mission.: _

I frowned. "So why did they do it?"

Landon came as close to shrugging as was possible for a Companion. _:As near as we can figure from their thoughts, it was the only way they saw to get their families out of poverty.:_

I shook my head sadly. "I still can't believe it." I proceeded to tell him what had happened in his absence. "Marin figures that one of them was a mage of some sort, and that the servants' memories returned when he died."

_:We found no evidence of magic at Ehnley's estates: _Landon said, _:but it may have been such a minor Gift that it wouldn't have shown up, especially if it wasn't being exercised regularly.:_

"I still can't believe it," I said. I just shook my head sadly and looked at him. "Why didn't you send word to me sooner?"

Landon nudged me with his nose. _:Because...Jaelle, there's something else about this you need to know, something we didn't want to convey in a letter.:_

His tone had dropped, moving from serious to mournful. It terrified me, and I felt the hair on the back of my neck start to rise in time with the quick beating of my heart. "What is it?"

_:The Herald that was killed—:_ He paused, as though trying to prepare me for what he was about to say.

"No," I declared emphatically, promptly deciding that this was the end of the conversation. Deep in my heart, I _knew_ what was coming next, and I resolved to have none of it. I pointed at him to drive home my determination. "Don't you _dare_ say it." Tears filled my eyes, turning Landon into a large, white, watery blur. I blinked them away and firmly clamped down on the trembling I felt inside. "Don't you _dare._" I started to walk away.

_:It was Treven.:_ His voice was soft as a whisper.

"No!" I cried, whirling about. "I don't believe you!" I paced back and forth over the same patch of grass, refusing to look at him, refusing to acknowledge what he said. It wasn't possible. He couldn't be dead. Tears filled my eyes again and I angrily brushed them away. "This whole thing is just insane! I go away for a few weeks and all hell breaks loose!" I savagely trudged back and forth and resolutely shook my head. "Treven is _fine_. He's in the Forest, and he's fine."

Landon was being too silent, however, and I eventually stopped pacing and looked up into his eyes.

And I knew it was true.

I tried to hold back the tears—I was so weary of all the sorrow—but my chest felt like it was going to burst. I gave in, both myself and my tears falling to the ground. Landon knelt down next to me and I buried my face in his mane.

"I want to go home," I sobbed. "I just want to go home." And I didn't mean to my house near Three Rivers.

_:I know.:_

I wept until my eyes hurt and I couldn't breathe. And then I sat up and blew my nose in my t-shirt. Why couldn't I just wake up and find that this was all just a bad dream? Would that be so bad? Was it so wrong to want a happy ending for once in my adult life? Must it always be marked by the premature death of those I cared about?

The idea of a happy ending—or not—brought a sudden thought to my mind and I turned to Landon.

"Did he—did he suffer?" Just saying the words brought on a fresh round of tears, but I had to know. All the stories of Heraldic deaths from the books were pouring into my mind, and I had to know about Treven's, regardless of the details, or my mind would invariably conjure up the worst, and I'd never have peace.

Landon sighed heavily. _:You don't ask the easy ones, do you:_

I just looked at him with tear-filled eyes. "I have to know, Landon," I whispered. "Just tell me."

_:He wasn't tortured, but...he didn't die right away:_ Landon confessed. _:Althea was able to block most of his pain, however, so it wasn't as bad as it might have been.:_

"How do you know?" I asked, blowing my nose again.

_:Althea's range of Speech was quite broad. She contacted us—me—when she knew that they wouldn't survive:_ Landon replied. _:She wanted me to tell you something.:_

A spark of curiosity helped hold back fresh tears. "What was it?"

_:She wanted me to tell you that some of Treven's final thoughts were of you. She said to tell you that he had fallen in love with you.:_

"I felt the same," I confessed, unable to do more than whisper for fear my voice would break.

Landon was silent for a long moment. _:I know it hurts, Jaelle. We're not supposed to speak of such things, but in what you term my "past life," I lost someone I loved, too.:_

I looked up at him, wiping my eyes. "Time heals all wounds." As usual, it sounded trite and stupid, just as it had when little Aaron had died.

_:So they say:_ he said, _:It's hard to believe that, however.:_

"It's hard to believe anything right now," I confessed.

_:I think you should get some sleep:_ he said after a long moment. _:Elspeth and Talia both know that I was going to tell you today, and they've made provision for Lucia to stay with Kyrah all day. So go get some rest and then eat something and have a bath and if you feel up to it later, go see Elspeth. She'll understand if you don't come, however, and is prepared to keep Lucia overnight.:_

I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck once more. "I'm glad it was you who told me, and not some stranger."

_:Me, too:_ he said.

I released him and rose on shaky legs. He brought me back to the Palace, almost right to its door. I dismounted and hugged him again, and then went inside to take a nap.

I woke several hours later to the most delicious smell. I sat up and looked across the room to find a tray sitting on the table. I didn't know how I could be hungry under the circumstances, but apparently my stomach wasn't communicating with my heart. I rolled off the bed and moved across the room to find a large, steaming bowl of chicken soup, some bread, a piece of berry pie, and pitchers of milk and water on the tray. It didn't take me long to eat every last bite. I felt a twinge of guilt, as though my body were betraying me by not acknowledging the sorrow I felt with a lack of hunger. Treven's face floated before my eyes. How could he be gone?

I felt better, however, for having eaten something, and once I took a bath, I started to feel human again, more in touch with myself.

I left my suites and headed for Elspeth's. For a moment, I wasn't sure where to go, but I then realized that she probably had moved into Selenay's old suites. I wove my way through the familiar corridors to the equally-familiar destination. Tears filled my eyes as I walked and I tried to force them back. Elspeth had probably had all she could handle of emotional people, and I didn't need to add to it. She deserved a sane visit from me, not an emotional overload.

The guards opened the doors of the suites, and I entered to see both Elspeth and Talia seated there. At the sight of them, my rebellious eyes filled with new tears.

At that moment, Lucia and Kyrah dashed into the room, giggling. Oh, to be four years old again! There was something to be said for having a good friend around to make you laugh again, even in the midst of the worst pain. Upon seeing me, Lucia ran towards me and threw herself in my arms. The distraction was enough to force back my tears and plant a smile on my face.

"Mama," she cried, "do you want to see what me and Kyrah made?"

It was not a distraction, however, that I could indulge. "In a moment, sweetie. I need to talk to Elspeth and Talia for a bit."

"Okay," she said, getting down. "Come on, Kyrah! Let's fix it up some more!" With that the two girls dashed out of the room as quickly as they'd entered.

Once they were gone, both Elspeth and Talia rose, and my eyes filled with tears once more.

"It's good to see you again, Jaelle," Elspeth said.

I opened my mouth to answer, but no sound was forthcoming, blocked by all the emotion that seemed to be building up within me. I merely nodded instead, and tried desperately not to break down.

But they both came over, and Talia, with her Empathy, put her arms around me. "Don't try fighting it," she whispered. "It will only make it worse."

One sob, and then two, escaped from my lips. I felt Elspeth's arms go around me as well, and I lost it completely. By the time I regained control, I think I had thoroughly soaked their Whites. We sat down together on the couch, and Talia handed me a handkerchief.

"I'm so sorry about Selenay," I said. "I just can't believe it."

"I know," Elspeth replied. "It's only now beginning to seem real to me."

I looked at her—really looked at her—for the first time. There were lines on her face I hadn't noticed before. "You look exhausted," I said. I looked at Talia as well. "So do you."

Talia favored me with a tired smile. "It's been a difficult time," she said. "Planning a coronation is hard enough, but on the heels of a funeral—Selenay's funeral—it's been hellish for all of us."

"But you," said Elspeth, "how are you? Gwena tells me that Landon has told you of Treven."

I nodded. "I don't know which news shocked me more." I wiped back more tears. "I must confess, I was falling in love with him, and according to Landon, he felt the same."

Talia sighed. "I'm so sorry, Jaelle."

"It could have been worse," I stated, trying to bring some rationality to the whole disaster. "I could have been lifebonded like the two of you are. At least Lucia gets to keep her mother."

"True," Elspeth replied, "but still painful nonetheless." She rose from her seat and went over to the desk. "I have something for you." She brought back a small silk bag, closed by a drawstring, and handed it to me.

"What is it?" I asked, taking it from her.

"It's a letter," she replied. "To you from Treven."

I could stare at her, and then Talia, my face an entire question mark.

Elspeth sighed softly and favored me with a sympathetic glance. "Treven had it on his person when he died. His family found it before they buried him and sent it here, asking that we send it on to you."

"Thank you," I whispered. I ran my fingers over the silk, feeling the paper within the bag, and feeling my heart beat swiftly. I looked back up at the two women. "So Treven is buried at his family's place?"

Elspeth nodded. "Yes. They requested it, and we saw no need to deny them their wish." She glanced at the bag, and then back at me. "Their letter to us contained a rather wistful comment that they'd like to meet you someday."

I could only nod, fearful of breaking down again. I set the silk bag aside, unable to read the letter right then. I think they must have sensed this, for Talia changed the subject.

"So what is this about Lucia hearing people's thoughts?" she asked.

I smiled my thanks at having something else to consider, and proceeded to tell them about her experiences. "I'm not really sure what to do about it," I said, "but she needs some training, I think."

Both Talia and Elspeth were nodding thoughtfully. "I can take a look at her, if you'd like."

"I'd be most grateful," I said. "I have no experience with such things."

"Of course," she replied smoothly, and she called out to Lucia, who came out immediately. "Lucia, sweet," she said, holding her hand out for her, "will you come here?"

Lucia promptly obeyed.

Talia took her on her lap. "You mother tells me you can hear people's thoughts. Is that true?"

Lucia nodded. "But only when they're loud."

Talia's glance flickered over to me in a question, and I just shrugged my ignorance. She looked back at Lucia. "I'm going to make you head feel funny for a minute," she told my daughter. "We need to see if you need training for this."

"Am I going to be a Herald?" Lucia asked. "Mama said I might be Chosen!"

_:If she stays as sweet as she is now, I strongly suspect she will be:_ Landon interjected, and I reported his comments.

Talia smiled and brushed a stray hair out of Lucia's face. "You might very well be Chosen, sweetling," she said, "but remember, it takes more than a Gift to get Chosen. You need to develop good character as well."

Lucia nodded solemnly, though I wasn't sure if she understood. In any case, she sat very still while Talia, I presume, checked her Gifts.

A moment later, Talia came out of her trance-like state, and smiled at Lucia. "That's it, sweet. You can go play again." Lucia got down and ran into the back room as though nothing unusual had just happened.

"So?" I asked, once she was out of earshot.

"Well," Talia said, looking at both me and Elspeth, "she certainly is Gifted."

"Oh?" Elspeth asked.

Talia nodded. "I'm surprised her Gifts are opening so soon, however."

"_Gifts_?" I asked. "She has more than one?"

"Most Gifted people have more than one Gift. They rarely show up alone. Right now, she has two," Talia replied. "Mindhearing and Empathy."

"Empathy?" I asked. I shifted to a more comfortable position on the couch. "She didn't say anything about feelings."

"She probably doesn't understand," Elspeth said.

"I'm sure that's it," Talia stated. "And it's probably what she means when she says she can hear 'loud' thoughts."

"Now I don't think _I_ understand!" I said with a laugh.

Talia smiled back. "Her Gifts are just beginning to open, so they're something like a trickle instead of a full stream. Therefore, she can't hear thoughts all the time, nor experience Empathy all the time," she explained. "From what I can tell, she can only hear thoughts when the person thinking is in a strong emotional state as well."

"Ah," I replied. "I see." That actually made a lot of sense, looking back on her experiences. "How long will this phase last?"

"I don't know," Talia said, shaking her head. "It could be months, or even years. It's hard to say in such an unusual case."

"But she needs training," I said.

"Oh, most definitely," Talia replied. "We can teach her some basics even now that will help her."

"You said she had two Gifts right now," Elspeth said. "What else did you see?"

Talia looked at me with an apologetic expression in her eyes. "You may want to prepare her for the possibility that she won't be Chosen," she said. "She has an unopened Gift of Healing as well."

"Oh, no," I breathed. "She'll be so disappointed. She has her heart set on being a Herald."

"I won't say that she won't be Chosen," Talia said. "After all, I have Empathy and Mindhealing, but Companions don't usually Choose those with Healing Gifts, as they're needed too much as Healers."

I sighed heavily. "What's the likelihood of her Healing Gift not opening?"

Talia and Elspeth exchanged looks. "Well," Elspeth said, looking at me, "there are plenty of people who have potential that never develops, but..." she trailed off with a dubious tone.

"It isn't likely," Talia finished. "Not with her other Gifts opening up at such a young age."

I shook my head. "I know I should be proud," I confessed, "but I don't know how to tell her. She'll be heartbroken."

"Can I give you some advice?" Elspeth asked.

"Of course!" I exclaimed.

"Don't tell her, yet," she replied. "Wait. Several years, in fact."

"It might even be a good idea for you to 'visit' Houses of Healing whenever you can," Talia suggested, "especially if you think her Gift of Healing has opened. Those with Healing Gifts tend to be drawn to those who need Healing, and that might make it easier for her to let go of her dream of being Chosen, if that's not the path she's going to take."

"Of course," Elspeth said, "it may also be that her Healing Gift is just a minor one, leaving her open to Choosing." She shrugged. "It's just too soon to say."

I nodded thoughtfully, taking all the information and suggestions to heart. "So," I asked, "have you finalized all the details for the Coronation?"

Talia groaned and Elspeth just rolled her eyes. "I'll be so glad when this damned thing is over," Elspeth said. "I thought being named Heir was complicated enough. This is positively maddening!"

"Let's just say that it will take place in two days," Talia said, "whether we're ready or not."

"And to the lowest hell with the delicate senses of the nobility!" Elspeth exclaimed.

I just raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

_Don't ask_, Talia mouthed silently, and I had to hide a smile.

I told Talia and Elspeth of the blood-money I had found at the House. I offered to give it to the Crown, but not only did Elspeth refuse to accept it, she insisted that I be given the price that was on Orthallen's head, as I had been the one who had discovered the whole plot to begin with.

I didn't want it. I didn't want to be reminded of that man, and I told them so. If they must give away their coin, I told them, they could give it to the poorhouses that take in orphans. Or to repair the Waystations. Or even to Treven's family. Someplace useful, and any place but my pocket. I determined at that moment to put Nestor's money to good use as well. The three men may have intended that gold to be used for some evil, but I wanted—needed—to see something good come out of this whole nightmare.

It was quite some time later before Lucia and I returned to our suites. The girls had constructed their own palace of gowns, pillows, chairs and anything else that was movable. They were inordinately proud of it, and wanted to spend the night in it. After getting over the initial shock of seeing the entire suite creatively destroyed, and _then_ seeing the look of horror on Elspeth's face, I immediately vetoed Lucia's request to spend the night. As exhausted as Elspeth was, she did _not_ need this right now. I even offered to take Kyrah back with me, but Talia overruled me, claiming that she was the least exhausted of the three of us (and had the Empathy to prove it), and took Kyrah back to her suites so that Kris—who had been holed up in an irritating Council meeting that Elspeth had finally just walked out on—and Elspeth could have at least one night of peace before the big day.

Back in our suites, with a head-splitting yawn, Lucia toddled off to bed. I sat down on the couch and held the small silk bag in my hands, staring at it. I was tired, but I knew I would only toss and turn if I went to bed without reading Treven's letter. Besides, I had learned to face things square-on, and not delay the inevitable, and it was hard to go against that training.

Slowly, I untied the drawstring and opened the bag. I reached in and drew out a very stiff, folded piece of parchment. I could only stare at it with a slight sense of nausea. Most of the parchment was stained a dark red, and the letter was crumpled and torn. I realized that it had been liberally splashed with Treven's blood, and felt my heart lurch, beating fast.

I opened the letter, and tried to smooth out the wrinkles as best I could. It was hard to read his writing where the parchment was stained, but I drew a candle closer and held the letter up to the light.

_Dearest Jaelle,_ it began, and, seeing Treven's handwriting, tears filled my eyes. _I've written this letter about a dozen times, and I still can't seem to get it right. But Althea is threatening to repudiate me if I don't finish it and send it off._

I felt a smile creep across my face, in spite of my sorrow. I could almost see him and Althea at that moment, sitting in a Waystation, arguing over the letter.

_I wish I had the Gift of Empathy_, he continued. _It would make things so much easier—and so much less frightening— _

"There's nothing to be afraid of," I whispered, as though Treven could hear me. I couldn't stop my tears, and had to put the letter down and retrieve a handkerchief. Once I could see again, I took it back up.

_Surely you know that I love you_, he wrote, _just as I know you love me. Althea says I'm presumptuous, but I trust that you will soon tell me that I am not, dearest J— _

The letter ended there, the rest of the words torn away and presumably destroyed.

A tear slipped past the handkerchief and splashed on the page. I brushed it away with my thumb, and glanced down to see traces of ink and blood on my skin. Suddenly, his loss seemed overwhelmingly real. I curled up on the couch and wept without restraint. I wanted him back, more than I had ever wanted anything in a long time.

"Mama?"

I lifted my head to see Lucia there, a painful expression on her face. I remembered her Gift of Empathy and quickly sat up, brushing my tears away and forcing my sorrow down as best I could. "I'm sorry, sweetheart," I said.

Without a word, she crawled up in my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I miss him, too," she whispered.

I said nothing. I merely rocked her until we both fell asleep.

The next morning found me at the salle. In my desire to see Landon and Elspeth, I had forgotten all about Alberich. I was sure, however, that he would want—even expect—me to visit him, if for nothing else than to determine how well I was progressing under Marin's tutelage. A class was just breaking up, and I waited outside until the students had dispersed. Treven's loss was fresh in my heart, and watching all the people around me, it seemed so strange and unfair that life just went on as though nothing had happened.

I was familiar with the feeling, however. It was common enough after the death of a loved one, and I knew from experience that it would pass in a few days. Still, it was real enough at that moment, and I felt the sorrow swell once more inside me.

Once everyone had gone, I went inside to find Alberich cleaning up and preparing for his next class. He looked up as I came in.

"Told you had returned, I was," he said.

I only nodded and sat down on a nearby bench. He looked at me for a moment, put his sword aside, and then came and sat down beside me.

"No more disturbance from you do I feel. 'Good for Valdemar you have been, and will be,'" he said quietly, recalling to mind the first time he had spoken those words to me. "Remember you this?"

I nodded. "You said that to me the first day we met."

"True, it was."

"But at what cost?" I asked softly. "Selenay is dead." _And Treven— _

"Herald Treven as well," Alberich replied, echoing my thought. "But Gwena, Elspeth—alive they are, and prepared we are now for Ancar."

I said nothing. What was there to say? It did nothing to bring back the dead. I looked at him. "I should go. You have a class."

He half-smiled. "My class, you are."

I just stared at him. I was his class? "But—how—?" He didn't know I was coming!

"Kantor."

I just sighed and rolled my eyes. "Do thank him for me," I said. "But I don't think—"

But Alberich just stood up and crossed the salle towards the practice weapons. "No choice have you," he said, interrupting me. "Marin's work, I would see."

I sighed in defeat and stood. Arguing would be pointless, and I wasn't wearing a gown to excuse myself. Not that that would have worked. He probably would have had me fight him anyway.

Without a word, Alberich handed me a practice sword. I had written to him after Marin had arrived to update him on my work, and had mentioned that I was being trained in sword, dagger, and bow, along with hand-to-hand. Sword was my weakest weapon. It figured that he would choose that one.

He then took his own sword and stood opposite me. "Guard."

We started practicing, but my mind wasn't really on the work. I was still mentally sitting down on the bench, contemplating the past few weeks.

Alberich came at me in basic, classic moves that he correctly anticipated that I would know how to counter. Marin was not recommended by him for no reason.

"Attack," he commanded, and our positions reversed. I came at him with all the knowledge that I possessed. He easily countered every move.

And then something happened...something I can't really describe, except to say that I suddenly found an outlet for all the anger and sorrow I had. Alberich ceased to be a teacher. Instead, he became Ehnley and Nestor and Orthallen, and the assassins all rolled into one, and I attacked them with every ounce of passion I had inside of me. I pounded on them, wanting to exact my pound of flesh from each of them for what they had done. I could finally understand that scene from the books where Talia attacked Alberich in practice because of all her frustration with Elspeth.

I didn't realize I was crying until it finally occurred to me that I couldn't _see_ him anymore—or at least, see him clearly. I stopped, panting, and wiped my face on my sleeve. The moment was over, and I was more than a little embarrassed.

But Alberich said nothing. I had expected him to rebuke me as he had Talia, but no words were forthcoming. He merely took my sword from me, and put both mine and his away. I realized then that he could so easily have "killed" me a dozen times over, but instead he did nothing, letting me pound away at him like so much meat.

"Thank you," I said softly. While I couldn't trample Treven's and Selenay's killers into the ground the way 'Fandes had done to Vanyel's attacker, somehow, beating against _something_ seemed more beneficial to my soul than all the impotent tears I had shed.

Alberich's eyes spoke volumes of understanding to me. Once more, I kissed his cheek, and returned to the Palace.

I managed to get through the entire Coronation and Fealty Ceremony without shedding a tear.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Okay, so I just have to finish this, as it's driving me up the wall, taunting me (I am getting school work done as well, so I don't feel as guilty as I could). Thank you for the reviews! Two more chapters to go.

Again, I'm not punctuationally-challenged. What is up with that anyways? This thing just does NOT like question marks or commas.

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Chapter 17

I dipped my pen in the inkwell, careful to ensure that just the right amount of ink clung to the feather-pen. Still, a drop escaped to stain my parchment, and I blotted it with a sigh of frustration. Would I _ever_ get used to this writing system? I returned my attention to my journal.

_Six months. I can't believe it's been six months already. I can't believe I will spend the rest of my life in this place. It's not—_

I paused, raising my pen from the parchment. I was going to write "fair," but I knew that, in all truth, it had been my fault, my choice to come here, and that it wasn't really their fault for not being able to return me. Had it really been six months? In some ways it seemed an eternity. In others, a mere breath of time. I glanced to the window of my chamber, watching the rain make endless patterns on the glass. It was a far cry from the sunny day when I'd first met those who would change my life forever, merely six months ago.

With another sigh, I closed the journal and made my way downstairs to the library. I couldn't really complain about my situation. After all, if I hadn't come, I would never have found Lucia, would never have fallen in love with Treven, as short-lived as that had been. And how _could _I complain? I had my own House, full of good people, and had made some dear friends in my short time I'd been in Valdemar. There were many who would gladly exchange places with me. My conscience chided me for my indulgence in self-pity.

I closed myself up in my library, finding my contentment once more. Much had happened over the past few months since Elspeth's coronation. Lucia's Gifts seemed content to remain in a slow state of opening, but I made sure to keep her training up-to-date. She knew enough from past training to tell me when she could hear thoughts or, in the most recent instance, feel someone else's feelings. Fortunately, in more ways than one, the Healers at the House of Healing in Three Rivers were capable of training her. Her Healing Gift had not yet manifested itself, but she always looked forward to visiting the Healers, so I took that as a good sign, and hoped it would continue to grow—just in case she wouldn't be Chosen.

I'd finally gotten up the courage to go visit Treven's family last month. I'd been using the excuse of winter not to go, but with the coming of spring, I no longer had that to hide behind.

It was the best thing I could have done. Each day since I'd returned from Haven had been a day of healing, but visiting his family and seeing where he was buried was exactly what I needed.

The family had given me some time alone at Treven's grave, and the words to one of Enya's songs had come to my mind. _You...you may take my life away...so far away. Now I know I must leave your spell. I want tomorrow._ Although I was healing, Treven still had something of a hold on me, because I was still holding onto him. I knew that I could not have "tomorrow," that I could not really have a future as long as I continued to hold onto him. Sitting there, I was finally able to let go, and I had come home from that visit with a light heart for the first time in months. I'd immediately written to Treven's mother, inviting her to come visit me at her earliest convenience.

Life was settling down into a routine. The families were healthy, the goats were healthy, and there were no more repairs to do at the House. Life was just going on, the way it always seemed to do. I was happy, but a bit bored. Was this the life of a Lady, just sitting around reading most of the time? If I didn't have Lucia to break up the monotony, I'd go insane. As it was, I felt decidedly useless. There was only so much self-improvement in weaponswork and intellectual pursuits one could do.

And so, I had decided to turn the large, mostly empty house into an orphanage. There had to be other children who were in the same state as Lucia had been. While I wasn't certain I wanted to adopt more children, I was sure that I wanted to help make their lives better. And what greater, more delightful irony could there be than in using Nestor's blood money to fund my project? I sent word around to the nearby towns, as well as Haven, informing them of what I was doing, and seeking an instructor to come and teach the children.

The servants were actually quite pleased with the whole notion. I think they were getting bored as well. One can only sweep the same floor so many times before the novelty wears off. Marin, too, was looking forward to the addition of children, and I was pleased when he agreed to remain at the House. If I was going to turn the House into an orphanage, by law, I would need to get instructors, and it would never hurt the children to be trained in weaponswork as well as academic subjects. Should any of them be Chosen, I knew Alberich would be very pleased to find they had some prior training under Marin.

It hadn't taken long to hear from people once I sent out word. In fact, I'd just gotten word the day before from Three Rivers that there was both a priest, who was skilled in instructing children—and was willing to move from the temple to a private House—and a little boy whose parents had been killed in an accident, who were interested in coming to the House. I sent one of the servants to Three Rivers to fetch them both, and the whole House was now edgy with excitement, waiting for them to arrive later that evening.

I sat down at my desk, and, with a smile, picked up Elspeth's most recent letter from Haven. She and Kris were expecting their second child this coming autumn. She'd been quite sick for the first month or so, but was now feeling better. She also seemed pleased to hear of my plans for the orphanage, and sent her blessing. She assumed that I would soon be very busy, but extended an open invitation to come visit whenever I had time.

Upon finding out that she was expecting, I spoke to the women who tended the goats in order to have a baby blanket made from the soft goat hair that our House was famous for, and upon which our income depended. They assured me it would be ready well before the baby came.

With a sigh, I rose and moved over to one of the library shelves. I'd taken to working my way through the books I now owned. Most of them were interesting—tales, local histories, etc.—but some were a little dull, such as how to repair a broken carriage. I was learning a lot, however, and was actually enjoying it. But I had always loved school, nerd that I was.

I replaced the most recent book I'd taken—a formal treatment of herbs and their medicinal values—and reached for the next one on the shelf. It was a slim volume, one that looked very old, and as I pulled it from the shelf, I realized that it was nearly falling apart. I took it to my desk and sat down, opening the cover.

A musty smell rose from the pages, and I suspected the book hadn't been opened in a while. I carefully turned the pages. They were filled with a neat, proper handwriting that was easy to read, and as I looked it over, I could tell that it was a personal journal of some sort.

How exciting! I'd been an amateur history buff back on Earth, and I loved to read old newspapers and letters—any first-hand account from the time period I was studying. I turned the pages of the journal, skimming the words, trying to find some reference that would place it along the time line of Valdemar's history.

Finding nothing, I turned back to the first page and proceeded to begin to carefully read what was there, searching for any hint of authorship or time period.

It didn't take long, and when I found it, I immediately knew I would not be leaving my seat for anything less than a nuclear strike.

At the end of the first entry were the words, "_by my hand, Stefan, Bard of Valdemar, in the fifth year of the reign of Jisa and — _ The following name was smeared, but I knew that the Jisa in question was none other than Vanyel's daughter, who had married her lifebonded, Herald Treven, who had been appointed as Randale's Heir, and make King upon Randale's death.

I felt slightly weak and my hands trembled with excitement. Stefan's journal! Goose bumps stood up on my arms as I began to read. I was positively sick, however, by the time I read the following entry:

_Daniel Landon came to visit us this week_. _He has settled in so well here, one would never know he came from another world. Visiting with him is always a pleasure for both Van and me, though 'Fandes doesn't seem herself when he is around. I don't understand her sometimes. Daniel saved her and Van's life, after all, up in the Forest. Perhaps it's just a Companion thing. Sometimes they make no sense..._

My heart beating fast, I quickly scanned the rest of the pages for any further reference to what had happened up in the Forest that fateful day, but there was nothing. I returned to the entry, reading it once more.

Finally, there was an answer to why the canon was so distorted. Someone named Daniel Landon, who was from another world—Earth, I suspected—had somehow gotten to Valdemar, and saved Vanyel from being killed by the Dark Lord. But how? The journal did not answer that question, but I knew of someone who _could_ tell me.

Landon.

I was willing to bet my House that it was not a coincidence that his name just _happened_ to be the name of man who had saved Vanyel. Although, who Landon had been in his past life, I wasn't sure, but I remembered the way he'd reacted when I'd told him some of the details of the canon regarding the Forest, and I knew that he had somehow been involved in the whole mess.

I snatched a piece of paper and quickly composed a very simple note to Landon:

_I know about Daniel Landon. If I don't see you within a fortnight, I'm setting out for Haven._

I didn't sign it. He would know who it was from.

I sealed it, addressed it, and snatched the first servant I could find to take it to Three Rivers so that it could be sent on its way to Haven by tomorrow.

I'd been in Valdemar long enough now to have learned how to be patient regarding the mail system. I knew that with the arrival of Bran, the young boy, and the Father Marc, the priest, I would be busy enough, and I suspected that, upon receipt of my note, Landon would immediately set out for the House, barring, of course, any unforseen circumstances.

Father Marc and little Bran arrived later that afternoon, slightly ahead of schedule. All the servants were there to greet them. Father Marc wore simple clothes and a broad smile that suggested that he was quite content with his lot in life. His short white hair and wrinkles, together with his bright blue eyes, reminded me of my grandfather. I truly hoped both he and I would find the arrangement to work. He would stay for a week, and then we would discuss whether or not we were interested in him remaining.

Bran was about six years old and clung precariously to an old blanket and the one satchel that contained all his worldly possessions. My heart went out to him immediately. There were tears in his eyes as he faced the whole lot of us, and he seemed to visibly shrink back into himself.

_Poor thing,_ I thought. _He doesn't know which way is up._ I asked Marin to take charge of Father Marc—if the man was hiding anything, or had ill intentions, Marin would be the best able to see it—while I showed Bran to his new room.

The servants dispersed, and it was just Bran and I who walked up the stairs. "How old are you, Bran?"

"Six," he said, and so softly, I almost couldn't hear him.

"I know this must be pretty scary for you," I said.

He shook his head, but I could see one big, fat tear roll down his cheek, and he pushed his blanket up to wipe it away.

"You must miss your parents very much."

Another shake of his head. "I'm okay," he said, but his lower lip was beginning to tremble.

I stopped our ascent of the stairs, put his bag aside, and sat down with him. "Bran, sweetie," I said, brushing his hair from his eyes, "it's okay to cry. No one here is going to hurt you or laugh at you. I promise."

Another tear rolled down his cheek and he started sniffling. "Tev laughed when they took me away. He said they were going to beat me and—"

Whatever else this Tev had told him was lost an outburst of sobs. I gathered Bran into my arms and rocked him. "Tev lied to you," I said. "He doesn't know anything. I promise you, no one is going to beat you."

"I want my ma and da," he cried.

My own eyes filled with tears. "Oh, sweetheart, I know. I know."

I took his bag and rose, carrying him the rest of the way to his room, which was next to Lucia's. Upon hearing Bran crying, or perhaps sensing his pain, she came out of her room, where she had been napping.

"Mama, what's the matter?"

Bran stopped crying at the sound of her voice, and turned his head to see who had spoken. I put him down.

"Bran, this is Lucia," I said. "Lucia, this is Bran. He just got here with Father Marc."

"Oh," she said, looking at him. "You lost your ma and da, didn't you?"

"Lucia," I chided. I was certain Bran didn't need to be reminded of that painful fact.

But Bran just nodded.

"Me, too," Lucia said, very matter-of-factly.

"You did?" he asked, wide-eyed.

Lucia nodded. "Mmm-hmm. But Mama took me in, like she did you." She took Bran's hand. "Want me to show you your new room? It's right next to mine."

Bran brushed away his tears. "Okay."

Lucia hauled him away, chattering on about the House, and the servants, and weaponswork with Marin, and how she wanted to be Chosen, and how she could hear other people's thoughts ("but I put up shields to block them out, 'cause it's wrong to listen to them."), and where the best places to play were. Poor little Bran just stood wide-eyed at the sheer force of her personality.

Truth be told, _I_ stood wide-eyed. I'd never seen her like this with strangers before, and I wasn't sure if it was her Empathy, but I suspected so. In emotional situations, she seemed to know instinctively the best thing to say and when—in the context of a five-year-old world, of course. Bran seemed to respond quite well to it, so I saw no need to intervene. I followed them into Bran's room, bringing his bag.

"Mama, could we have a snack?" Lucia asked as she showed Bran around the room.

"Of course," I said. "I'll have Sara fix something up for you."

I unpacked Bran's things as Lucia proceeded to show him where the privy was. Bless his little heart, he hardly owned a stitch of clothing that was in good shape. I made a mental note to take down his measurements after supper and have a new wardrobe made up for him as soon as possible.

Lucia came back in the room alone. "Bran's in the privy," she announced, and before I could say anything, she said, "I could Feel that he was hungry."

"You Felt it?" I asked.

She nodded. "It was weird," she said.

I sighed inwardly. It sounded like her Healing Gift was beginning to manifest. "We'll go to Three Rivers as soon as we can," I said. "Healer Tecla can help you with it."

Lucia didn't seem very happy, however. "Mama, do you have any Gifts?"

I shook my head, kneeling down next to her. "No, sweetie, I don't."

"Maybe Bran has some," she said, wrapping her arms around my neck.

I picked her up. "I know it's hard being different like this."

"I wish we were in Haven," she said. "Everyone has Gifts there."

"I know," I replied, "but you know what? I think Landon is coming for a visit soon."

Lucia sat up in my arms, a smile on her face once more. "Really? When?"

"In about two or three weeks, I think," I said. It would take about a week to get the letter to Haven, and I'd given him two weeks to get here after that.

"Yay!" Lucia yelled, and then got down to go make sure Bran hadn't gotten lost.

Of course, Landon _would_ go and surprise us all.

Six days later, I was in the library, reading the last few pages of Stefan's journal when Elsa came to the door.

"M'Lady, there's a Companion outside, asking to speak with you."

I looked up from my reading, stunned at her announcement. "A Companion?" I rose from my chair and quickly stepped through the hall to the door. I opened it to find Landon standing there, barebacked.

"How in the world—?"

_:Rolan Gated me here: _he said without preamble. _:We need to talk.:_

It was raining outside, so there was no way we could go for a ride. "Come inside to my study," I said, and I stepped back so that he could enter.

_:Thank you: _he replied. _:Jahn took my saddle and groomed me, but I'm afraid I'm going to need a towel.:_

"Of course," I replied. He headed for the study and sent Elsa to get some towels to dry him with. She returned, and I gave strict instructions that we were not to be disturbed. Her eyes were as wide had Bran's had been, but she acknowledged my command and closed the door behind herself when she left the library. I suppose it _did_ look odd, having a Companion in your house. But there was nothing to be done about it, and Landon didn't seem inclined to put off the conversation.

_:How did you find out: _he asked once the door was closed.

"It's nice to see you, too," I replied, toweling him dry. Granted, I had stumbled upon a rather big secret, but I had never seen Landon so intense, and it was rather unnerving.

I heard him sigh. _:I didn't mean it like that. You know I'm always happy to see you, but this is serious.:_

For Rolan to Gate him there, it had to be. Putting the towel down, I went over to the desk and picked up Stefan's journal. "Stefan wrote of it in his journal," I said, and I proceeded to read him the entry I had discovered. I put the book back down. "Do you want to tell me the whole story?"

_:Jaelle, I—:_

"Let me phrase it another way," I said, interrupting him. "You can tell me, or you can go back to Haven. Those are your options." I was tired of his evasion on this subject, and absolutely refused to play his game any longer. If he thought he could come up here to "talk" about it and _not_ tell me the whole story, he was sadly mistaken.

I think he sensed my resolve, because I heard him sigh once more. _:Very well. You may want to sit down. This could take awhile.: _

I sat down.

_:Daniel Landon was from your world: _Landon began. _:Like you, he was familiar with the books of Valdemar. The details are irrelevant, but right before Vanyel's battle with the Dark Lord, Daniel...came here and helped Vanyel win the battle.:_

"I doubt the details are irrelevant," I said, "and you haven't told me anything I don't already know. How did he get here?"

_:By a Gate.:_

"Obviously," I drawled. "I meant, how? Who brought him here?"

_:Yfandes.:_

"'_Fandes_?" I asked incredulously. That didn't make sense. "But why? And when did she do this?"

There was a long pause. _:She...had done something she wasn't supposed to do: _Landon said. _:She violated the Rules and looked into the content of the books and saw what was to happen to Van and herself.:_

"How?" I asked. "When?"

_:That is not your concern,_: Landon replied in a stony voice, and I knew that I had just stepped into a subject matter was off-limits—Companion secrets. _:In any case, once she saw what was going to happen, she opened a Gate to your world and found Daniel. She brought him back just before the battle, on her way back from having carried Stefan away, and he helped her and Van defeat Leareth and his army.:_

"But how?" I asked. "What did he have that could have helped?"

_:Something called a grenade:_ Landon replied. _:Several of them actually. He was a science student, but his father was in the army, and he had taken a box of grenades and was doing experiments with them. He was hiking up to the top of a mountain to set off a rocket with them when 'Fandes intercepted him. Van was his favorite character, he told her, and agreed to help.:_

I just stared at Landon. "A _grenade_? He was playing with grenades? How old was this child?"

_:Fourteen:_ Landon replied.

"Idiot," I said, shaking my head. "She probably saved his life, the stupid kid." I looked at Landon. "Just so you know, you do _not_ experiment with grenades. It's a good way to get yourself killed."

_:He seemed to know what he was doing:_ Landon replied. _:The first one he threw at Leareth killed him immediately. And once Leareth was dead, Vanyel was able to take care of the rest.:_

"So no Final Strike was necessary," I finished. "And they all lived happily ever after."

_:Something like that.:_

I surveyed Landon with a critical eye. "There's only one thing I can't figure out...were you Vanyel or Stefan?"

_:Does it matter:_ he asked.

I shrugged. "Only to my curiosity." When he didn't answer, I shrugged again. "Well, the mystery's solved. That wasn't so hard to tell me, now, was it?"

_:Jaelle:_ he said, _:that's not the reason I'm here. At least, not the reason I'm here so quickly.:_

"Oh?"

_:Rolan sent me here because he's found a way to Gate you home. I'm here to bring you back to Haven if you want to go.:_

"What?" I whispered. "What do you mean, he's found a way—" I was so stunned, I couldn't even complete the sentence.

_:He's found a way to send you back to your world.:_

I stared at him for a long moment and then shook myself from the stupor that had fallen over me. "I can't go _back_, Landon! Surely you know that! I have Lucia to look after, and the House, and now the other children." I just stared at him. "What was Rolan thinking? He _knows_ this!"

_:You have to go back:_ Landon said.

"What?" I asked. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Landon, are you crazy? I am _not_ leaving Lucia!"

If he could have started pacing, I think he would have. _:Jaelle, please—you must go back.:_

A cold realization washed over me. He wasn't looking out for my welfare. He was pleading for himself. "Why?" I whispered, my heart beating fast.

_:I—We want you to stop Yfandes:_ he said. _:We want you to make things right again.:_

I could only stare at him, far too shocked to answer.

_:We can tell you where and when:_ he continued in a rush, _:and put you in the right place near that time. You just need to stop her.:_

I still could not find my tongue. We stared at each other for a long moment. "I—" I stood and began pacing for both of us. "How can you ask me to do this?"

_:Jaelle, please—:_

"Why don't _you_ go back and stop 'Fandes? Why does it have to be me?"

There was a long moment of silence. _:Because:_ he finally said in a whisper, _:I'm already there.:_

The meaning of his words slowly washed over me and I took a step back. "You're Yfandes," I breathed.

Landon didn't reply.

"But you're—you're a stallion," I said.

He snorted, an unexpected reply. _:If we can be re-born in horse bodies, do you really think gender is that big of an issue to get around:_

"I need to sit down," I said, and returned to my chair. "Why don't you just send another Companion then?"

_:I—'Fandes has a Gate open in your world to Valdemar:_ Landon said. _:All the Companions who were alive now were living back then. It is impossible for us to be in two places at once, so we can't go back and risk being pulled in by her Gate. You're the only one among the Herald and Companions who isn't at risk.:_

I felt suddenly angry. "So essentially what you're saying is that you want me to back and fix your mistake."

_:Jaelle—:_

"No!" I said, interrupting him and rising from my seat. "Where do you get off asking me to do that?"

_:Haven't you wondered why I've never Chosen:_ Landon asked. _:I have. Everyone, Herald and Companion alike, have been expecting me to Choose you. But I've never gotten my Call. I was beginning to think something was wrong with me, but since you've come, I now know why—I'm supposed to be with Van in the Forest. He was my first Chosen, and unlike others who come back to Choose again, he is meant to be my only Chosen, ever.:_

Now I was really getting angry. "You should have thought of that before you tampered with the way it was supposed to be!" I snapped. "I knew when I came here that I might not go back, and I decided to come anyway. I made a choice, and I have to live with the consequences of that choice—everyone does. Why should you be so special?"

_:I—:_

"And furthermore," I continued, cutting off whatever response he had to say, "do you have any idea what you're asking me to do? Do you know what that will result in?"

_:Selenay will be alive.:_

"And Kris will be dead," I shot back. "And Kyrah, and the new baby, and who knows how many others!"

Landon stepped back. _:Kris—Kris dies in the books:_

"Yes," I said. "The Valdemar of the books is so different from what is here."

_:But that's the way it's supposed to be:_ Landon said. _:How many more would be alive if the Forest were as it should be:_

I shook my head. "But you made your choice a long time ago, Landon."

_:Is mercy and grace not spoken of in your faith:_ he asked softly. _:I made a mistake, a terrible one. Is there no forgiveness for that:_

_That_ brought me up short and I turned away to stare out of the window. His words cut straight to my heart. I knew I had made some wrong choices in my life that I would have loved to have changed, and even though I had to bear the consequences of my choices, if I had been given a chance to change them, I would have jumped at the opportunity. Was I to deny that same opportunity to someone else just because it had never been offered to me? Could I believe in those truths of mercy and grace and then turn my back on one who needed both from me?

"What would happen to Lucia?" I asked without turning. "I am responsible for her. She is my daughter."

_:You could take her with you:_ Landon said. _:Whatever you take with you will be safe from any effects of change.:_

"She needs training in her Gifts," I replied. "She can't get that in my world."

_:Rolan is prepared to bring you back here when it's all over.:_

I shook my head. "I get stuck in this world, struggle to make a home for myself, and when I finally feel like I'm making some progress, you want me to start all over again, but as a complete stranger this time." I sighed heavily. "If I choose to do this, I would be returning to a Valdemar that wouldn't know me. My house would be gone, Kyrah would be gone, Talia and Elspeth wouldn't know me—no one would."

Landon didn't reply.

"I don't know, Landon," I finally said. I turned to him. "Do you know what you're asking me to do?"

_:Yes:_ he replied. _:And I'm sorry. So is Rolan. So are all of us, but you are the first—perhaps the only—hope we will ever have to make things right again.:_

"I can't give you an answer right now," I said.

_:Rolan told me that we have five days to do this before the magics shift and the opportunity is lost.:_

I nodded my understanding, and let him out of the room and the House. I returned to the study as he made his way to the stables.

Five days. I watched the rain trickle down the windows, uncertain of what to do.

Should I go, or stay?


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Thank you all for the reviews! You guys are great!

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Chapter 18

I couldn't sleep that night. I went to bed, I closed my eyes, but sleep eluded me. Nothing helped---not reading, or warm milk, or counting sheep. Especially not counting sheep, for all that did was to remind me of that scene in Magic's Promise with the sheep, which brought me back to the charming little issue that Landon had dropped in my lap. Of course, being angry wasn't exactly conducive to a restful night of slumber, so I gave up trying at around three o'clock in the morning.

It was hard to get past the anger to consider the problem rationally. How could he do this to me? How could _they_ do this to me? Hadn't I sacrificed enough for them all? I had given up my life once. Wasn't that enough for them?

I went over in my mind every good reason I had for rejecting their request, and came to the conclusion that I didn't really _need_ a reason, good or otherwise. They had no right to ask this of me in the first place, so they were hardly entitled to a reason for my refusal. A simple "no" should suffice.

So why did I have no peace about it? Why did I feel so guilty?

I sighed heavily and stared into the glowing embers in the fireplace in my room. Leave it to Landon to throw my personal code of morality in my face. That was the problem with morals, I decided—by their very nature, they were in effect all the time, not just when it was convenient….at least, not if one wanted to be able to live with one's conscience. Damn.

Thunder crashed, and a bright light momentarily silhouetted the heavy curtains of my windows. I went over and pushed back the heavy tapestries, watching the rain pound against the windows. I knew springtime brought rain, but this had to be one of the worst storms I'd ever seen. As angry as he'd made me, I hoped that Landon was alright in the stables. What a storm!

I drew in a sudden breath. Storms. The Mage Storms.

As if by magic, the information from those books came back to me, and with it, a realization and sinking feeling that swept away all protests I might have made to Landon's proposal.

The Mage storms were coming. I didn't remember a whole lot from the books, and I didn't know when they would come, but come they would. They were the one thing that was _not_ contingent on Vanyel. They were bigger than he was, and they were coming, regardless of whether he inhabited the Forest or not. The chill of horror crept over me. In the books, Valdemar had had Firesong and Vanyel and Karal and Need, and who knew how many others to help her fight off the storms and keep Valdemar safe. But here, in _this_ Valdemar, there was no one to help, and there was no need to go seek it.

There was a good chance we were all going to die at some point in the near future.

I had a choice to make. I could sit here and do nothing and keep my life as it was and risk the very real probability that Lucia wouldn't grow old enough to be Chosen, to say nothing of Kyrah and the new baby, or any of the other children I would take care of here. Or, I could agree to the Companions' proposal, set things right, and take my chances in a Valdemar that I knew _would_ survive the Storms.

In that light, there wasn't really much of a choice at all, now, was there?

I sighed heavily and returned to my bed. Maybe there was a chance that Elspeth and the other mages _could_ fight off the Storms. I couldn't discount that possibility, but given what the books said regarding them and given that it took all those people to overcome them, it didn't seem so likely that Elspeth and the others were going to be able to pull it off by themselves. She didn't even have the advantage of a Groveborn Companion here.

If I didn't go, I'd be condemning her and Talia, and thousands of innocent people to death.

My petty little desires paled in comparison. My decision made, I pulled the covers up over my head and tried to get a little sleep. Even a few hours would be better than none.

The storm broke about midmorning and the sun came peeking through the clouds. I decided it would be a good time to visit Landon. I left the children (we'd gotten three more right before Landon came) in Marin's care for their lesson and headed for the stables.

He was standing in the stable yard, looking more forlorn than I'd ever seen him, or even thought could be conveyed by a horse-like body. His ears pricked up as I approached.

"Want to go for a ride?" I asked.

_:Okay: _he replied, and even his mindvoice sounded pathetic.

If he was looking for sympathy, he'd found the right person. Looking at him, I felt just awful for getting mad at him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and just stood there for a long moment.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you."

_:No,_: he said, perking up a bit, _:you have every right to be angry, even if I wasn't so focused on myself.:_

"You have a lot on your mind," I said.

_:I'm sorry, Jaelle: _he replied. _:You should never have been asked to do this.: _There was a long pause_. :It should never have been necessary.:_

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

_:I loved Van:_ Landon said. _:I still do. I always will, I suppose.: _He stepped back to look at me. _:That last year was just awful...well, you've read the books. You know.: _He sighed. _:I was so tired of fighting, and so tired of seeing how worn Van was. I don't know what happened...something in me snapped, I guess. I broke the Rules.: _He twitched his tail and his mindvoice took on an annoyed flavor. _:When I found out what was going to happen to him—not even to us, but to him—I was livid. After all he had done, that was how his life was going to end? I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't help myself. I brought Daniel back and—well, you know the rest.:_

"Why did you take Daniel's name?" I asked. "Stefan said you always seemed uncomfortable around him."

_:I was:_ Landon replied. _:He was a reminder to me of what I had done. And I didn't take his name. It was given to me.:_

"Why?" I asked.

_:Eternal penance, I suppose: _he replied, and his voice took on a haunted tone, as if he were contemplating having to live with this, over and over, for the rest of forever.

"Not eternal," I said softly. "I've decided to go back."

His head flew up and he turned to eye me. _:You have:_

I nodded. "I remembered something from the books last night—this morning, actually—and something is going to occur that will threaten Valdemar so much that, in the books, you and Vanyel and Stefan are needed to stop it. Actually, a _lot_ of people are needed to stop it, but they're not here in this Valdemar, and there's probably no way to protect Valdemar without them."

I could practically feel Landon's horror as he realized what I was saying. _:What have I done: _he asked, but in such a soft voice, I suspected that I wasn't meant to hear it. He looked at me._ :Jaelle, I—:_ He stepped forward and nuzzled my cheek. _:I can never thank you enough. Can you possibly know what this means to me:_

Reflecting on some of my past mistakes, I smiled at him. "I think so."

_:You are my redemption.:_

I just held him for a long moment. "When do we leave?"

_:Rolan will contact me after the midday bell rings. I can give him a time to leave then: _Landon replied. :_When can you be ready:_

I considered for a moment. I couldn't just up and leave without telling the household, nor was I going to leave this Valdemar without taking a few of my belongings with me. I glanced at my watch. It was about eleven o'clock in the morning. I'd need a few hours after lunch at least before I would be ready to go. I looked back up at Landon. "How about three hours after the bell rings?" I suggested. "I have to gather my things and tell everyone I'm leaving."

Landon nodded. _:Very well. I'll let you know when it's time.:_

I looked at my watch again. "We should forgo that ride. I've got too much to do to get ready."

_:Of course:_ he replied.

"I'll see you in a few hours, then," I said, turning to go.

_:Jaelle:_ he called.

I turned back. "Yes?"

_:Thank you.:_

I just smiled in return and headed for the House. While I wasn't angry with him any more, I was still angry in general at the whole stupid situation, and I rather doubted that I was going to get over that anytime soon. I loved my House and the families and the servants and especially the children. I had formed bonds with all of them, and the thought of having to give all of that up and start all over again, even though I knew it was necessary because of the Storms that were coming, just (in the words of my best friend) frosted my cookies.

What hurt most of all was that I couldn't take all of the children with me. For one, they wouldn't all fit on Landon. And I just couldn't start a new life from scratch with a handful of toddlers and little ones that I had to feed, clothe, and shelter without knowing even where I was going after this was all over with.

I skipped lunch, and packed up my and Lucia's things. She was ecstatic that we were going to Haven, eager to see Kyrah. I didn't have the heart to tell her just yet that we would not be paying a visit to the Palace. There would be no good reason for why Rolan Gated me to Haven. I certainly couldn't tell them what was going on, and there was no way to slip a lie past Talia and her Empathy. And, truth be told, I don't think I could have borne to see them, knowing that I was about to so completely alter their lives. And Kyrah...she would no longer even exist. Tears filled my eyes just thinking about it, and I had to fight down another wave of anger.

I packed some essential clothes, what I had originally brought with me to Valdemar, and what remained of Nestor's gold and any other money I could find. I wouldn't have the House to come back to once I returned to Valdemar, so any money to see me through until I could find a place for Lucia and myself to live would be welcome. It weighed down my bag tremendously, but it was a necessary burden.

Once I finished that, I dressed in my jeans and t-shirt and brought the bags downstairs. "Ila," I said, as she passed by, "please assemble the servants and children. I have an announcement."

She looked at my clothes and then my bags and her eyes grew wide, but she only nodded and a few moments later, everyone was present.

"I have to make a trip to Haven," I said, once they were quiet. "The Companion Landon will be taking Lucia and me later on this afternoon." I looked them over, and fought with every ounce of strength not to betray myself with tears. "I don't know how long I will be gone, but I'm sure you'll all be just fine in my absence."

The servants all looked among themselves, but none of them voiced the one question that was in all of their eyes:

Why?

Not being inclined to offer an answer, I just smiled (I was getting good at that today) at them, and took advantage of the opportunity to burn each of their images into my mind. I was never going to see any of them again, and I didn't want to forget them. I had a disposable camera in my book bag that I'd brought with me, but I knew there was no way I could take their picture without having to explain something. And once I started to try to explain, I would probably just come unglued and make things all the more worse than they already were. Best just to leave it as it was.

I dismissed the servants, and they all went their separate ways—except, of course, for Marin. He made a beeline for me. I didn't even waste my time trying to avoid him.

"My Lady?" he asked, clearly waiting for an explanation. After all we'd been through, he, most of all, deserved one. I wished I could take him with me.

"I can't speak of it right now, Marin," I said. "When—if I can, I promise, you'll be the first to know."

"Why do I have the feeling you're not coming back?" He asked.

"I don't know," I replied, feeling the tears struggling to well up.

He just looked at me for a long moment, and then reached for his belt, detached his dagger, sheath and all, and handed it to me. "Take this."

I just looked at it, and then at him. "I can't. It's your favorite."

He took my hand and pressed the weapon into it. "Now it's yours." Without waiting for a reply, he turned and headed for the salle.

I picked up my bags and moved as quickly as I could to the library and shut the door. I dropped the bags and the dagger and burst into tears. Getting myself under control, I looked at my watch. It was almost three. I just wanted to go and get this over with. As if on cue, I heard Landon's voice in my mind.

_:Jaelle, we're ready. Lucia's already here with me.:_

"Okay," I replied. I dried my eyes and blew my nose and picked up my bags. Spotting Stefan's journal on my desk, I paused to tuck both it and the dagger in my book bag. I wanted _some_ reminder of my time here.

I left the library, debating about whether I should inform the House. I decided against it. We were leaving by Gate, and I didn't want to draw any more attention to this departure, or cause any more worry than I'd already done. Besides, I didn't think I'd have the emotional fortitude for another goodbye.

Landon was saddled and ready to go, and Lucia was already astride him. I attached the bags to the saddle skirting, and then mounted.

"Where are we Gating from?" I asked.

_:The stables doorframe:_ he replied. _:I've sent everyone away just to be safe.:_

"Good idea," I replied.

"What's a Gate?" Lucia asked.

_:It's a fast, magical way to get from one place to another:_ Landon answered, trotting down to the stables.

"Why are we doing that?" she asked.

"It saves time," I answered, not feeling up to trying to explain what was going on.

"Oh."

The Gate was in place when we got there. Just before we went through it, I saw Marin standing outside of the salle, watching us. I waved goodbye, but I couldn't smile this time.

Neither did he.

A moment later, we were gone, and suddenly overcome with dizziness and nausea. I'd forgotten how awful Gating was. But it soon passed, and we found ourselves in and obscure corner of Companion's Field. Rolan and several other Companions were standing there, waiting. Lucia and I dismounted.

_:On behalf of all of us, let me thank you,_: Rolan said to me.

I said nothing. It was suddenly very real to me that I was about to leave the place I'd expected to spend the rest of my life in. I felt slightly overwhelmed.

_:Are you ready to go: _he asked.

"Not yet," I said. I detached my bags and unzipped my book bag. I took out my camera and headed towards the Palace. I had several pictures to use up, and had intended to do so my first day here. Now that I was leaving, I didn't want to miss the chance to capture what I could on film. My only regret was not doing this sooner, while Selenay was still alive, and when I could have gotten a picture of Kyrah. As it was, I took pictures of the Palace, the collegium, the Field, and finally, Landon. I also showed Lucia how to use it, and had her take the last picture of me and Landon together, with the Palace in the background. The other Companions probably thought I was crazy, but I didn't care.

That being done, I returned to my bags and put the camera away. "Now I'm ready," I said. "Where are you going to send me?"

"Mama, where are we going?" Lucia asked. "Can't I go see Kyrah first?"

I knelt down next to her. "I'm sorry, sweet, but you can't see Kyrah."

Her eyes filled with tears. "But why?"

"Because," I said, "Valdemar is in danger, and the Companions need me to help them. I have to go back to my world, the one I was born in."

"But can't I stay here with Kyrah while you're gone?" she asked.

I shook my head sadly. "No, sweetie, you can't."

"But I want to!" she cried. "I want to see Kyrah!"

"Lucia," I said firmly, picking her up, "now is _not_ the time to have a temper tantrum."

"But I _want to see Kyrah!_" And she burst into tears.

_:Child:_ Rolan spoke, _:if your mother leaves without you, you will never see her again.:_

That brought her up short, and she just looked at me.

"There will be no more discussion about this," I said, and put her down. She said nothing in reply. She just gazed up at Rolan with wide eyes and took refuge behind one of Landon's legs.

_:Do you know of a place called Maine:_ Rolan asked, returning to the subject at hand.

"Yes," I replied. "That's where my parents live. Where in Maine am I going?"

_:To the mountain where Yfandes will be:_ Rolan replied. _:We will send you there, at the time just before she arrives.:_

"When does she arrive?" I asked.

_:October 21, 2001:_ Landon replied:_at just after noon. That's what Daniel said.:_

That was just a few months after the time I had come into Valdemar. I turned to Rolan. "Can you send me back to the same place and time that I came from?"

_:Yes, but—:_

"Then do it," I said. "I'm coming back to Valdemar once this is over, and this time, I'm coming to stay. I'm going to want to pack a few things and write a few letters." There would be no surprises this time. I could say everything that I ever wanted to say to whomever I wanted to say it to, and I would have no regrets.

_:How will you find the mountain: _Rolan asked.

"My father took me mountain climbing all over the state when I was young," I replied. "I know where it is. I won't get lost."

_:Very well: _he replied. _:Are you ready:_

"Actually, could I have a moment alone with Landon?" I asked.

Rolan nodded, and the other Companions began to disperse. _:Lucia, would you like a ride: _he asked.

She was still staring at him, and for a moment, I thought she was going to refuse, but apparently, her love of Companions overrode her fear, and she nodded. I put her up on Rolan's back and he trotted off. I turned to Landon.

"So, this is it," I said. I hadn't wanted to think about leaving him, and even now, I still didn't want to think about it. He was my closest friend. I couldn't imagine being in a Valdemar without him. Tears filled my eyes, and he stepped over and nudged me with his nose. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his silky mane. "I don't want to go," I wept.

_:I don't want you to go, either,_: he said. After a moment he spoke again. _:I would have Chosen you, you know, if I could have. You would have made a damn fine Herald.:_

I laughed at that, and stepped back, wiping at my eyes. "If I would have been such a good Herald, why didn't someone else Choose me?" I asked. I shook my head at the thought. "I don't think so. Just as Healers aren't usually Chosen because of their need elsewhere, so I was not Chosen, if indeed I am Herald material." I really didn't think I was. I didn't really _want_ to be a Herald, I had no Gifts, and the idea of riding circuit and fighting was certainly not my idea of a good time. "Who would have adopted Lucia, or taken in the other children?" I asked. "I like what I did here. Maybe I can do it again when I come back."

_:Perhaps you're right,_: he said.

"What happens if 'Fandes doesn't listen to me?" I asked, changing the subject. "What if she refuses? What do I do?"

Landon was silent for a long moment. _:Say the following words to her: 'I know what happened to Sahm.':_

I looked at him, confused. "What does _that_ mean?"

_:She'll know,_: Landon replied. _:Don't worry.:_

"And that will work?"

_:Yes:_ he replied.

I shrugged. "Well, you'd be the one to know about that."

_:You should also know that she Gates herself to a point not far from the base of the mountain: _he said. _:It's just off the main path, in the brick archway of some old ruins.:_

"I'll remember that," I said. Rolan was trotting back towards us—our time was short. I turned to Landon. "You won't know me, will you? When I come back, that is."

_:I don't know:_ he replied. _:I don't think so.:_

I hugged him once more. "I'll never forget you. I promise I—" Tears closed my throat, choking off the rest of my words. They weren't necessary, however. We both knew that he understood.

_:It's time,_: Rolan said.

I nodded and released Landon, and helped Lucia down. I picked up my bags as Rolan built the Gate. When he was finished, I could see my parents' house, waiting for me.

"How will you know if I'm successful?" I asked.

_:I'll know: _Rolan replied._ :Just stay on the mountain. I'll open up a Gate to you.:_

I nodded my understanding and threw my bags through the Gate. I took Lucia's hand and a deep breath. I looked over at Landon once more.

_Goodbye_, I thought to him, unable to voice the words for the lump in my throat.

_:Goodbye:_ he replied softly.

Tears filled my eyes, and before I could change my mind, I stepped through the Gate.

The next three months or so went by in a blur. I spent most of the time with my family and my favorite foods. I watched my favorite movies and took long showers, and started amassing a collection of Things That Must Go Back With Me To Valdemar.

It was hard to remember why I was here, and that I wasn't here to stay. My parents adored Lucia, whom I claimed to have adopted from Romania, and she seemed to have no problems adjusting to the differences in the worlds. Somehow, she instinctively knew not to speak of Valdemar around others. It was a good thing she was Gifted. If the deepest truth of my heart were to be told, I would have to admit that it was only because she needed training that I was going back, and it was only her speaking to me of Valdemar that kept me on track for what I needed to do. I never realized that it would be so hard to leave home once I came back. The temptation to just conveniently "forget"about a certain date in October was overwhelming.

But two things happened to change that. The first was September 11, 2001. Watching the planes hit, watching the towers come down, watching people jumping to their deaths from tens of stories up—it stirred up in me a longing for the simplicity of the life I had in Three Rivers that I could only describe as homesickness. I would never have thought I would have felt that way.

The second thing that happened, about a month after the attacks, was that Lucia began to instinctively Heal herself when she got minor scrapes and bruises. I knew then that I had to go back, regardless of what I wanted. She was my daughter. I had adopted her and bound myself to the responsibility of caring for her well-being. There was no backing out of that, ever. I, therefore, got her immunized against every possible disease I could, and took every other advantage I could think of that my world had to offer that might benefit her back in Valdemar.

And so, mid-October rolled around before I even knew it. I'd gotten some medieval-looking bags and crammed them full of stuff I wanted to take with me: mp3 player, batteries, books, clothes, chocolate, one last bag of Doritos, and, of course, the gold, among other things.

It was hard leaving home. I wrote a long letter to my parents, telling them the whole truth about what had happened to me, how I really had acquired Lucia, and where I was going, and why. I included copies of the pictures I had taken of the Companions and the Palace. I had a couple sets of them packed away in my bags as well, especially of the one Lucia had taken of me and Landon. It was a little lopsided, but it came out just fine, and it was one of my prized possessions.

I didn't know if my parents would believe me or not. I wasn't one to make up tales, especially over something like this, that involved my leaving and never coming back. I could only hope that in the coming years, it would give them some peace.

I also wrote a letter to the orphans in Romania, and included some of the pictures as well. I didn't tell them where I was, as they wouldn't have understood, but I did tell them that I wanted to come back and visit them soon. It wasn't really a lie, but I didn't want them to think I'd forgotten about them. They would find out soon enough that I was missing, and I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye.

The day was upon us at last. I told Lucia that we were going mountain climbing that day, but I hadn't told her why. Given her Empathy, however, I knew that she could sense from me that there was something different about this day.

My parents had gone to work early in the morning, so I just left the letter on the table, gathered our bags, and got in the car. The mountain was about a twenty-minute ride away, according to the map. It was around nine o'clock in the morning, but since I only had one shot at this, I didn't want to risk missing it, especially as I had to find the archway. It wasn't until we were on the road that I told Lucia what we were doing. She'd been looking at me very uncertainly all that morning, and once we were on our way, she asked what was going on.

"We're going back to Valdemar today," I told her, navigating our way through town.

"Are Gramma and Grampa coming?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No, sweetie. It's just us." I looked off to the right of the street where the library stood. It seemed a lifetime ago that my librarian had handed me the newly-published _Arrows of the Queen._ I would never have thought back then that I would one day be living in Valdemar. I mean, who would?

"I don't get it," Lucia said.

I smiled at her use of American slang. It hadn't taken her long to pick up on that. "What don't you get?"

"Any of it," she said.

I tried to explain to her, in as simple language as possible, what 'Fandes had done, and why I had been sent back to stop her. She said nothing in reply, but I could see that she was processing it all in her young mind.

Finally she spoke. "Is the Storm going to hurt us when we go back?"

"No," I replied. "They'll have people now to take care of it."

"In the Forest?" she asked.

I nodded. "And other places."

She considered that for a moment. "Will we go back to the House?"

I shook my head. "The House won't be there anymore."

"Why?"

"Well," I began, trying to think of a good way to describe what was going to happen. "It's like a river that splits into two forks." I illustrated the image with my hands. "'Fandes is at the point where it splits, and before, we were on one fork that included the House. Now, we've gone back to the starting point where 'Fandes is, and we're going to be on the other fork, that doesn't have the House."

She mulled this over. "If I had stayed behind with Kyrah, you would have gone to the other fork without me?"

I smiled my pride at her quick grasp of the situation. "Yes. That's why I couldn't leave you behind."

She was silent for a moment, and I knew what her next question was going to be, and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Is Kyrah on the new fork?"

I sighed, very softly. "No, honey. She isn't." I hated these "parent" moments when you had to disappoint and hurt the one you loved most. But I would have done her no favors by lying to her—and probably even damaged our relationship by doing so—especially when she would soon find out the truth for herself.

Tears filled her eyes. "I miss her."

"I know," I replied, turning down the side road that led to the start of the mountain path. "I know you do."

"Landon's not on the new fork, either, is he, Mama?" she asked. "That's why you were crying, wasn't it? Because he can't come with us to the new fork."

"Yes, sweetie," I said. "I miss Landon like you miss Kyrah, but sometimes—sometimes what you have to do isn't always what you want to do. Sometimes what you have to do is so important that, in order to do it, you have to give up what you want."

"It doesn't feel good to do that," she said sadly.

"No, it doesn't," I agreed.

I pulled the car to the side of the road and got out. Lucia got out and I got the bags and we started up the mountain. I told Lucia what to look for, and we made it a kind of game, trying to find it. Several times, we went traipsing through the woods, thinking we had seen some ruins, only to find that it was the shadows and fallen tree limbs playing with our minds.

About an hour into the search, Lucia squealed with delight and pointed off to the right of the path where stood the ruins of an old brick house. Upon further inspection, we discovered the archway, and we settled down to wait for noon.

It was not long in coming. The air within the archway began to shimmer and shift with that familiar swirl I'd come to recognize. A moment later, Yfandes stepped through opposite us, looking around with a quiet fury in her eyes that made me take a step back, and send Lucia to the other side of the ruins and beyond—as far away as she could go and still be in sight of me. Lucia didn't even argue. One look at the Companion had made her wide-eyed, and I could only guess what her Empathy was picking up.

"Hello, Lady Yfandes." One could never be too polite with an angry Companion.

She wheeled about at the sound of my voice, and eyed me critically. _:Who are you:_ she demanded in a growl. _:You're not the one I'm looking for._:

"My name is Jaelle," I replied. "I've been sent to stop you from making a mistake."

She threw her head back with a snort of derision. _:You are going to stop me?_: She laughed, but it was not a pleasant sound. _:You can try, but I wouldn't advise it.:_

I was beginning to doubt my chance of success, to say nothing of the sheer terror I felt being under her gaze. She was more than a little intimidating. I had to remind myself that she was facing Vanyel's death, and probably wasn't inclined to being very social, especially with someone who was trying to oppose her.

"Rolan sent me," I said, hoping that perhaps his name might have some effect on her.

It did.

_:To the lowest hells with him.: _She turned her back on me, scanning the area—for Daniel, I presumed.

Okay. Strike one.

I tried something else. "You sent me as well."

She looked at me over her shoulder. :_I did no such thing.:_

"Yes, you did," I objected. "Several hundred years from now, you are a Companion again, and you sent me back to stop yourself from doing this."

_:And why would I do that:_

"Because," I replied, "what you are going to do here will have dreadful ramifications that—"

:_What I am doing will save Van's life: _she snarled, interrupting me.

"It will destroy Valdmar," I snapped back.

She turned on me then, her tone dangerous. _:I suggest you leave.:_

I swallowed hard and took a deep breath. _You'd better be right about this, Landon._ "I know what happened to Sahm."

A startled neigh escaped from her throat. :_How do you know about Sahm: _she demanded. _:I never told anyone about him.:_

"You told me," I replied softly. I took a hesitant step towards her. "Read my thoughts, my memories, even those of the Storm books. You will see that I am telling the truth."

Without reply, she turned her head and gazed into my eyes for a long moment. Finally, she looked away. _:It's true, then: _she whispered, her tone etched with resignation. _:And Van—:_

"I'm sorry."

She turned back towards the Gate. _:He's waiting for me.:_ She looked at me. _:I probably should thank you: _she said, _:but I can't.: _Before I could respond, she leapt through the Gate and it collapsed behind her.

It was over. I didn't know whether to breathe a sigh of relief or to sit down and cry. Landon, Kyrah, Kris—they were all gone now. I called Lucia back.

A few moments later, there was a rustling in the brush below us, and a young teenaged boy with a backpack came into view.

Daniel Landon.

He smiled at me, and I smiled back and he continued on his way up the mountain.

Five minutes later, another Gate opened in the archway, and I could see Rolan on the other side. I picked up my bags. "Come along, Lucia."

I took her hand, and with a final glance at my home world, stepped through.

* * *

A/N: The next chapter is the final chapter. I'm going to go through the reviews and answer any questions that were not answered by the story. If you have a question you want answered, feel free to ask and I'll try to answer it. Also, I apologize if this chapter seems rushed or if some things seems coveniently place (read: location of mountain...hmmm). I'm sure I could have stuck in Nepal or something and created more conflict, but end-of-semester duties call for expediency in fanfiction for me right now. 


	19. Chapter 19

A/N at end of chapter.

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Chapter 19

From the warmth I felt from the sun once going through the Gate, it was clear that we had returned in the summertime. I looked around myself and recognized nothing. We were in a field, but it certainly wasn't Companions Field. In fact, I rather doubted that we were even near Haven.

Lucia started after a butterfly, and I turned to Rolan. "Where are we?"

_:Outside of Berrybay.:_

"Berrybay?" I repeated. "Why?"

He tilted his head to better look at me. _:Is this not where you wanted to be? Somewhere near Sorrows:_

"But I didn't say where I wanted to go," I replied. Not that being near Sorrows was bad. If there was any chance that Landon/Yfandes might know me, it would be worth it. But it didn't seem very practical for us. "Shouldn't I be in Haven? I mean, Selenay and Talia and Elspeth might not know me anymore, but I could start over." With Lucia needing training, if we lived in Haven, there was a chance I might run into those I had known before.

_:I'm sorry, child:_ Rolan said, _:but that will not be possible.:_

That didn't make any sense to me. Why couldn't I reestablish a relationship with them? I shook my head in confusion. "I don't understand."

_:I have not yet Chosen Talia.:_

I could only stand there and blink at him like some bizarre owl. "What—I—"

Rolan shook his forelock out of his eyes. _:It was the time appointed for you to return.:_

"But—" Now I really didn't understand. What was that supposed to mean?

_:Have you never wondered why it took me so long to "find" Talia:_ he asked.

His words washed over me like a cool spray of water, and as they settled down in my mind, they sent a chill down my spine.

"I don't understand," I whispered.

Rolan snorted. _:Of course you do:_ he contradicted. _:You're as much a part of the canon as I am.:_

I felt like the world was suddenly spinning like a top. I was _supposed_ to be here? The reason Rolan took so long to Choose Talia was because of _me?_ Because he Gated me to Sorrows while Talia was waiting for him on the other side of the kingdom? I looked at him. "How?"

_:You simply are:_ he replied. _:There is no explanation. At least, not one easily understandable or explainable.:_ He looked around. _:Do you want to stay here, or would you rather I Gated you to Haven:_

I shook my head. I was now old enough to be Elspeth's mother, and even old enough to be Talia's mother. To go back now would be too difficult for me to bear, to say nothing of how it would affect Lucia. How could I possibly explain that to her? I didn't even want to try.

"I have nothing, Rolan," I whispered. "No friends, no home—"

He stepped over to me and nudged me with his nose._ :I will be your friend. And the other Companions...they know, too. We do not forget you.:_

I looked at him. "How can they know of me?" I asked. "Everything has changed. In fact," I continued, "how do _you_ know of me? How can you remember what happened—I mean, it never actually _did_ happen anymore."

_:Do you really think all of our secrets are revealed in the books:_ He asked. Before I could reply, he nodded his head in the direction of a hill. _:Berrybay is just on the other side of that hill. There is an inn at this edge of town, the Sorrow's Song, run by a husband and wife who will treat you well. Why don't you go stay there until you decide what you want to do:_

Apparently, the topic of Companion secrets was not open for discussion, so I just nodded my assent to his suggestion. At the moment, I wasn't sure what I wanted, and to decide anything now would be a bad idea. I called Lucia back from her play, and gathered my bags. "Thank you for you help, Rolan." I tried to sound cheerful, in spite of how depressing it all seemed, but my attempt was pathetic at best, as Rolan came up to me and nudged me once more with his nose.

_:Do not lose heart, child:_ he said. _:All shall be well.:_

I nodded politely, though I didn't feel as confident as he seemed to be. "Go on, now," I said softly. "Talia's waiting for you."

He nuzzled my cheek, and then turned and trotted off, soon breaking into a canter. He swiftly disappeared from sight.

"Where did Rolan go?" Lucia asked, coming back with a handful of wildflowers.

I took her hand in mine. "He had to go get Talia," I said. I started walking up the hill.

"Where are we going?"

"There's a town just over this hill," I said, "and there's an inn where we're going to stay for a while until we can find a place to live."

"Oh," she said. "Okay." Her young voice held no worry, no fear for the future. It was the embodiment of perfect trust in me, and it was more than a little humbling.

As Rolan had stated, the inn stood on the edge of town, one of the first buildings, and the only three-story building I could see. We walked through the open doors into an empty common room filled with long tables and benches and sporting a large fireplace at each end. Off to one side of the room was a stairwell to the second floor, and in the back of the room were a set of closed doors.

"Hello?" I called. My voice echoed in the empty chamber.

A moment later, the doors at the back opened up, and an middle-older aged man came out. He smiled at me and Lucia. "Good day to you! How might I be of service?"

I returned his smile. "We are in need of a room, sir."

"No 'sir'," he said. "My name is Thom, my dear, and you've come to the right place." He stuck his head back through the door and called to someone named Jula. An older woman—his wife, I presumed—came into the room and smiled at us. He relayed our request to her, and she proceeded to show us to a room upstairs. It was small, but clean and bright, and had a lock on the door.

If the inn had been empty before, it was packed by dinner time. I hated crowds, especially crowds of strangers, and, unfortunately, Lucia seemed to be picking up on my emotions, as she seemed determined to hide behind me and never come out. Jula must have seen us standing there with heaven-only-knows-what expressions on our faces, for she laughed and invited us to eat with her and Thom at their table in their private quarters in the back of the inn.

"Business seems to be doing well," I commented, taking a slice of freshly-baked bread from the plate in front of me. Jula's cooking was some of the best I'd ever tasted, either in Earth or Valdemar.

"It is," Thom answered. "Too busy, I think."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Jula smiled. "We're not as young as we used to be, my dear. Not like our Sylla. She's in Haven, running her own inn with her husband, and raising three babies as well."

"What we'd really like to do is move there to help her, but we can't just abandon our inn," Thom said.

I thought of my gold upstairs, and a plan began to form in my mind. I smiled at Thom and Jula. "Perhaps I could help..."

* * *

"Lucia! Denya!" I called, as they dashed down the stairs and headed for the door, "be sure to take your cloaks!"

"We will!" they yelled back in unison, and grabbed their cloaks on their way out to play.

I just smiled and shook my head and set about to cleaning up the dining/common room. I looked about the inn that I'd owned for the past three months. Thom and Jula had readily agreed to sell it to me, and I'd promptly turned the third floor into an orphanage, while keeping the second floor and common room open to travelers that might be hungry or in need of shelter. After I'd gotten approval for the orphanage from Haven—and seeing Selenay's signature on the documents nearly tore my heart out—I'd started advertising for children. So far, I'd gotten three: Denya, a little girl of six years; Arnon, a boy of nine years; and, Elsa, a girl of four years.

I didn't need to provide instructors, as there was a temple in the town that taught them basic subjects, but I felt the lack of a weaponsmaster keenly, and I missed Marin. I wasn't sure where to look, so I had written a letter to Alberich, introducing myself, and asking him if he knew of anyone, either in the Berrybay area or not, who might be willing to be a weaponsmaster here.

He wrote back, and his written grammar was as Yoda-like as his spoken was. I smiled the whole way through it. He recommended a few people, and I was disappointed to discover that Marin's name was not on the list. Of course, at this point, he was far from retirement age, and probably had a job. Still, I was grateful for the names, and I wrote to the one nearest to Berrybay, a man named Harten. He responded with interest and had now been here for a week. He had a patient, quiet manner that suited the children well, and we both seemed quite pleased with the arrangement, so he was here to stay.

I finished cleaning up the common room and took my book bag from the counter and headed for the stables. The children were away for the day at various friends' houses, and the inn was fully staffed for the day (I had hired some help for the inn after I started the orphanage), so I was finally able to have some time to myself. I had decided to take a day trip to Sorrows, since we were so close.

It was a short journey, and my gelding was more than pleased, it seemed, for the exercise. The weather had turned cold early, as it was wont to do this far north, and he probably realized that this was his last chance for some real exercise before true winter set in.

The books always seemed to give the impression that there was a great sense of security in Sorrows for those who were friends of Valdemar. I didn't have any Gifts, and I had always found forests and woods to be peaceful, like a Robert Frost poem, so I wasn't sure if the sense of peace I felt was just normal, or because of Sorrows itself.

I went deep enough into Sorrows to lose sight of the edge of the forest, but not so far as to get lost. I dismounted and spread out the picnic lunch I had packed for myself. From my bag, I pulled out Stefan's journal and a copy of the picture Lucia had taken of Landon and me.

I missed him. I guess I was hoping or expecting that if I came to Sorrows he would somehow be there and materialize before me and we could talk. But he didn't show up. No one showed up, actually. I suppose it shouldn't have surprised me. After all, Landon never existed in this world. Still, part of me hoped that this might have fallen under Rolan's category of Companion secrets that weren't in the books. How wonderful would it have been to have been able to come to Sorrows on occasion and talk to Landon? I had lost the friendship of Selenay, Elspeth (the fact that she was little older than Lucia now just blew my mind), Talia, Marin, Alberich, and so many others from the House, and as winter approached with the promise of being isolated from most of the world, I guess I had hoped that somehow Landon might be preserved in some way.

I just sighed and packed up my things. I cradled the picture in the branches of a tree.

"Goodbye, Landon," I whispered.

I felt a brush against my mind—or at least, I thought I did. I could have imagined it, but it seemed to be accompanied by a sense of gratitude.

"You're welcome," I replied.

There was no answer, but it didn't matter. There had been _something_ there, however slight it was, and that was enough for me. Could it have been Landon? I didn't know. It was probably Yfandes, the logical part of my mind reasoned, but it didn't really matter. It was something.

* * *

"Goodnight," Lucia said sleepily, drawing the covers closer around her ears.

I leaned over and kissed her and put another log on the fire in the fireplace before checking on the other children. They were all asleep, and I stood in the doorway just looking at them, and especially at my daughter.

Was she worth it? The question settled itself in my mind and demanded an answer. Was she worth the life I might have had back at home had I not adopted her? Was she worth leaving everything I knew to return to Valdemar for her sake? I remembered Romania, where children were little more than inconveniences.

Lucia was my future. I couldn't imagine my life without her, and I couldn't imagine throwing her away, and with that realization, I felt a deep joy fill my heart. She was more than worth it. They all were.

I softly closed the door to the children's room and made my way back downstairs to my rooms in the back of the inn. One couldn't have _everything_ one wanted. You had to do the best where you were, and be thankful for the blessings you did have rather than waste your life mourning over those you didn't. The soft strains from a song from the movie _Dangerous Minds_ came to my mind.

_...This is the life. Everyone has to be somewhere. I am here...this is my life..._

I was here, and this was my life.

So be it.

I yawned and headed for the back room. Winter had come in full, and there was a nasty snowstorm raging outside. I was fairly certain the children wouldn't be going to school in the morning, but they could still practice their weaponswork out back in the newly-constructed salle. Harten insisted they practice every day unless they were sick.

I grabbed a couple of logs from the common room on my way to the back rooms. I was almost there when I heard a knock on the front door.

Who in the world would be here at this hour, and in this weather!

I put the logs down and felt for my dagger in my boot. I drew it out, tucking it in my belt for easier reach. It was probably just a traveler lost in the storm, but one could never be too careful.

I went to the door and unlocked it, opening it just enough to communicate. "Yes?" I called above the wind.

"I'm sorry to bother you," a man's voice yelled back, "but I got lost in the storm...could I stay here for the night?"

Still with one hand on my dagger, I opened the door and let the man inside. He was covered in snow, more than I would have thought possible. He stamped his boots and brushed himself off, but it didn't seem that he was having much luck in ridding himself of the snow.

And then I realized...his clothes were white.

He was a Herald.

I looked up at him and felt the blood drain from my face in a rush that left me dizzy.

"I must look like a sight, I know," he said, presumably in reply to the shocked look on my face. "I'm Herald Treven. Thank you so much for taking me in. My Companion got lost in trying to find a Waystation, and yours was the first place we found. I've stabled her in one of your free stalls and given her some of your provisions. I'll pay for all of it, of course."

I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. It was Treven. It was him, looking exactly as he did the day he left the House. "Umm—I—" I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts into something coherent. "Please, take a seat near the fire," I finally said, moving quickly across the room to stir the embers into flames and adding more wood to it. "I'll see about getting you something hot to eat and drink." I deliberately did not look into his eyes. I'd never find my way out of them if I did.

"I'd appreciate that," he replied, settling himself down in front of the hearth.

I went into the kitchen, but had no intention of fixing food...not right now, anyways. I grabbed my cloak and headed out the back door for the stables. If Rolan was right—

_:Hello, Jaelle.:_

Althea's voice invaded my mind before I could close the stable door behind myself. Even in the darkness, I could make out her glowing form, and with a cry of delight, I practically flew to her stall and threw my arms around her neck.

"I don't believe it," I cried. "Idon'tbelieveitIdon'tbelieveitIdon'tbelieveit!"

She laughed in my mind. _:Believe it.:_

I drew away and looked at her. "How is it possible? Treven should be just a child now!"

_:Not here:_ she replied. _:In the other world, both his grandmother and mother had children later in life, but here, it is as it should be.: _She nudged me with her nose. _:Why do you think Rolan brought you back to this point in time:_

"He said it was the time I was appointed to come back!" I exclaimed.

Althea merely chuckled. _:Well...wasn't it:_

"But he said I was part of the canon," I protested, "that his bringing me here was why it took him so long to Choose Talia."

_:Both can be true, you know:_ she replied with a laugh, _:and I wouldn't dare call the Groveborn a liar, but between you, me, and this very study wall—if Rolan had wanted to Gate you back to the same time period, he would have.:_

My mind was spinning. "But why didn't he tell me?"

_:And spoil the surprise:_ she answered. _:Besides, if you had known Treven was here, would you have worked as hard to build a life for yourself and the children here, or would you have tried to move to Haven to find him:_

I shook my head in disbelief at Rolan's ploy, and in embarrassment at my falling for it. "I'm gonna kill him the next time I see him," I said, but the raw delight in my voice belied the seriousness of my words.

Althea laughed with me. _:You should know something—I didn't get lost, whatever Treven says.: _She snickered. _:This storm won't let up for two weeks at least. We're "stuck" here until then. That should be enough time for us to get Treven to fall back in love with you, don't you think:_

Two weeks? With Treven? I felt a smile try to split my face in half. "I think we could make some progress." I hugged her once more. "I have to get back. Let me know if you need anything."

_:I will:_ she replied.

"I still can't believe it," I said, shaking my head once more.

Althea's laughter followed me back into the house. I think I practically floated around the kitchen as I heated up some stew and bread and made some tea.

Treven was here. He was actually here. I would never have thought it possible. I had moved on after his death, and never even thought of seeing him again, especially not in this point of time in Valdemar's history. But he was here. He was back. My Treven—

The reality of it all overwhelmed me and I burst into tears right in the middle of the kitchen. The stew and tea were done, however, and I could just stand there all night. I managed to dry my eyes and gain control of myself. I fixed up a tray and brought it out to the common room.

Treven looked up at me as I came out and smiled. "That smells wonderful," he said.

"Do you mind if I join you?" I asked. I'd made up enough for both of us. There was certainly no way I'd be able to sleep now, so I might as well take advantage of the situation.

He smiled at me. "Please do," he replied. "I'd like some company."

We sat down at the table closest to the fire and started to eat. As he began to talk about his current assignment, I allowed myself, for a moment, the luxury of losing myself in his voice and his eyes and his smile, and all the feelings I'd had for him before came flooding back.

I was home, my heart whispered to me. I was finally home.

The End.

* * *

Wow. I can't believe I finally finished this.

On to comments and questions:

_Fireblade K'Chona: And...as for the journal, will it do a Back-To-The-Future thing where the words erase?_

Not if she took it with her. Landon mentioned that whatever she took with her would be free of the effects of the time change. Whether that's actually true or not is a question for the theoretical physicists! lol

_Tsukinoko1: I live in a small town west of Kobe. That line about the fire's lunch made me think of Calcifer from Howl's Moving Castle :) Have you seen it?_

No, I haven't even heard of it! I never did make it to Kobe when I was there, either.

_Wishingicouldthinkofsomething: Prediction for later in the story, Lucia is going to be Talia's successor,_

No, actually, she's not. With the canon set aright, that postion (according to Elspeth—in _Winds of Change_, I think) will go to Lyra. In my mind, I made Lucia a full-fledged, un-Chosen Healer.

_ShianeCollins: How long has it been since that traitor was there?_

I don't know. It wasn't really necessary for me to figure that one out :-)

_Glaciours: There are no plot holes, other then the lack of appearance of some of the husbands...which could be because of their schedules..._

Okay, the question here is mine…what husbands? Dirk? Kris? If so, you're right…they didn't make much of an appearance, probably b/c they were so busy, and there really was no reason for Jaelle to interact with them, so it probably would have been simply a gratuitous appearance anyway.

_Tira: I like Landon and I have a distinct feeling that he either was Vanyel- or Tylendal, and that Stefan didn't exist._

Tira, kudos to you! From the beginning, I had mapped Landon out as being Vanyel, but for several reasons changed it to Yfandes right before I wrote the chapter in which he confesses who he was.

_Etcetera-cat: - as much as it was 'wrong'-- I think I shall miss the characters of the altered Valdemar..._

Me, too. By the end of the story, I did NOT want to make Jaelle leave. I really enjoyed working with everyone there. But with the Mage Storms coming, there was no believable way I could have kept her there. Yeah, she _could_ have said no and stayed, but she'd be risking not only her own life, and the lives of all of Valdemar, but Lucia's, and given her character, there was no way she was going to do that. It would have been way out-of-character, and besides, I'd been looking forward to bringing Treven back since before I killed him off! LOL

To those who asked about Lavan…to be honest, I never gave it any thought, b/c it wasn't relevant to the story. Having now considered it, though, first, let me say that I haven't read that story since it was first published, so I don't really remember a lot about it. So if it says somewhere in there that Lavan was born specifically b/c there were no Mages, then I would say, no, he would not have existed in this AU. However, if you remember what Vanyel said about regular Heralds and their Gifts being, in some cases, more useful than magic, then I would say that just because magic continued in this AU, that does not mean that strong non-magical Gifts no longer existed or are not necessary. So, yes, he existed in the AU…why not? Just because the Heralds still have magic does not mean that they don't need other kinds of Gifts, especially strong ones (and especially in the face of war). Check out Vanyel's conversation with his father on this subject.

To Dragonborn: as far as dealing with Daniel Landon on the mountain….a few possible explanations. One, Jaelle could not risk a conversation with him b/c she knew that Rolan would soon be opening up a Gate, and she did not have the luxury of engaging in a conversation at that time, to say nothing of risking having Daniel see that. Two, she couldn't just stop him and tell him not to "play" with grenades, as, to his perspective, there is no way she could know that he has them. She would had to have engaged him in conversation for a time before "trying" to find out what he was doing…this leads back to the first problem. Third, according to Landon's observation, he was actually quite skilled in using grenades, and once Landon told this to Jaelle, she wasn't as worried about him. I probably should have put a sentence or two about this in the scene.

To yellowsundragon: No, the "Sahm" thing was just a plot device. I haven't given it much thought...if I ever decided to revisit this AU in Vanyel's time, I might develop it.

**Personal comments: **First, thanks to all of you for sticking with me on this one! Just going back through the reviews, I was totally blown away by all the amazing things you had to say about the story and my writing. I'm truly flattered…you've seriously boosted my ego big time! Most of the time, I didn't know where I was going with this until I started writing a particular chapter, so it's been a lot of fun. And, if I can be forgiven the shameless plug here, for those of you who were so kind to comment on my writing, I've got an original fantasy story being published by Deep Magic e-zine in their May issue (available May 1st), which is free to download (pdf) from their website, www (dot) deep-magic (dot) net. The title is "Jodhin" under my pseudonym Q. S. Archer. The world/culture in which it takes place has some similarities to Valdemar, but in the grand scheme of things, very little. Unfortunately, in this short story, all the similarities are there, so it might seem like parts of it are something of a rip-off, which was absolutely not my intention.

I have finals coming up in the next couple of weeks, which is why I posted so soon. If you still have questions, please feel free to email them to me.


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